On Monday, Grandpa visited in the afternoon. He spent time with Henry outside on the patio. Apparently, Henry took Grandpa's keys and then walked around to the front of the house and tried to insert the keys in Grandpa's car door. When we were at the UA a couple weekends ago, Henry took my keys and tried to insert them into a door lock too. He definitely gets the whole "keys" concept.
I brought food home from Pei Wei after my class and office hours. Henry didn't eat much. He liked the insides of a vegetarian spring roll, but the texture (stringy stuff) gave him a little bit of trouble (gagging). He stayed up late and was difficult to get to bed. At one point, he bit me on the chest through my shirt, so I put him in his crib, walked out of the room, and let him cry for a couple minutes. He was upset when I went back into the room, but he settled down quickly in my arms. Given the choice between crib and my arms, he decided that me holding him was OK. Jeff cleaned the house (including my office) while Henry and I slept. My office looks like a different place.
Jeff took today (Tuesday) off. We had our first home visit from Lora Sol of "A Place Called Home," the foster-adoption agency we selected. This was the second step on our road to entering the foster-adoption system. She asked us questions, similar to the ones we did over the telephone. She asked Jeff why we wanted to be foster parents/adoptive parents. Having not coordinated a response whatsoever, Jeff basically said the same thing that I had told her on the telephone a couple weeks ago. We love kids. Being Henry's parents has been an amazing experience for us. Nothing compares to being a parent. And, we are lucky to have (Jeff's term) or are blessed with (Kate's term) a lot of resources (not just financial). We feel that we would be good providers for someone who is less fortunate and needs a family. She asked us about our histories (e.g., have we been abused by anyone, have we ever been arrested, have we been ever been abusers). Our favorite question: "If selected to be a part of the program, would you be willing to follow state laws?" Hmmm...let me think on that one.
We were also asked if we were interested/willing to be parents to someone who wasn't from our racial/ethnic group. Apparently, most people only want kids from same backgrounds. We, however, don't care. Lora said that people sometimes change their minds when they get assigned a family coordinator (after passing the training). She said that she suspected that sometimes people don't want to say that they wouldn't be willing b/c they are afraid that they won't be admitted to the program. Plus, she's black, so she thought that people, if they are not black, might find it difficult to tell her that they wouldn't be willing to foster black children in their home.
She said that it was important to stay true to our values and needs. So if a coordinator asks us to foster a child that doesn't fit our profile, it is best to say no upfront. I told her that I was hoping that the training would give some insight into us figuring out what kind of children would be a good match for us. I'm still trying to figure out what the age cutoff should be. Having gone through a lot of profiles, I'm fairly certain that we shouldn't foster older children while Henry is so young. One disturbing thing about my online searches is that the descriptions of the children do not always match up across websites. There was one boy whose description on one website intrigued me. I thought that although he was older, it could possibly work. It said that he would be good in a home with or without children. Yet, on another website, the same child was described as not being good with younger children in household. Anyway, she basically started talking about how the training doesn't prepare you for all of the ins and outs of being a parent, which wasn't exactly what I was talking about. She mentioned that a lot of foster parenting is on the job training. She said that they have foster parents describe their experiences on a panel during the training. For example, if a child acts up, a typical response might be "go to your room." But for many foster children, they equate that phrase with having sex forced on them. I'm not so concerned about us being able to work around challenges, but I am not keen on the idea of bringing a child into the home who could be a threat to Henry, which is particularly a concern if the child is older. Jeff doesn't think that a placement is likely if we are looking only at younger kids. I'm a bit more optimistic. I figure that there are younger children out there who need homes too. We have time to wait for the right placement. There's no rush. When the right kids comes along, we'll be ready to foster them. And as Henry gets older, the range of children that we would be willing to accept into our household will expand. I read on one website that 2 out of 3 kids who enter foster care do not end up returning home. Obviously, there's a need.
Lora did a walk through. We have to change some of our baby locks from the plastic kind to metal. In the garage, the paint cans need to be in a locked cabinet. Other than that, our place looks pretty good. We'll need to change the batteries in our smoke detectors to make sure that they are up-to-date. We also need to buy a fire extinguisher. Nothing major.
Next week, Lora is meeting with the director to go through the list of interviewed couples and invite the ones who meet their needs to the training, which begins in January and lasts 2.5 months (MW 6-9PM). She will be calling us in a couple weeks to let us know their decision. I suspect that we'll be invited to the training. My parents have agreed to take care of Henry while we're at training. There is babysitting at the training, but it will still be RSV season, so we'd rather not chance it.
Henry was delightful during her visit. She was impressed by his clearly enunciated vocabulary. We're impressed with it too.
I put Henry down for a nap around 11AM. He passed out in my arms without trouble. Then, I headed out to Trader Joe's. Jeff took the day off work. When I got back from TJ's, I got out some cheese that I had picked up. A fine Gruyere with spring onions. OK, it was expensive, and I admit that I didn't even look at the price tag when I picked it up. It was the taste sample item for today. I tasted it. Liked it. Stuck it in basket. I got a 1/2 lb block. A tad expensive at $12 per lb. When I got home, Jeff commented that I didn't get the memo that there was a recession going on. Incidentally, Henry didn't get the memo either. We've tried cheese on him a couple times. He has always rejected cheese pieces (swiss, cheddar, and yogurt cheese). I stuck a piece of this Gruyere in his mouth, and he liked it. Ended up having quite a few pieces. That's my boy. He has a sophisticated palate apparently.
In the afternoon, I took Henry over to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a quick visit. We stopped by on our way to the post office. Grandma accompanied us to the post office, just in case the line was long. Then, we headed back to their house. Stayed until Grandpa came home from work so that he could see his boy. Then, back home.
Jeff was passed out when we got home. Henry was passed out too. Gave me a chance to walk the dogs and make dinner. Henry got himself in timeout after dinner. He kept sneaking into my office to see Pics! even when we said no. He was better behaved after spending 2 minutes in timeout (in his crib...we know we need a better location). Jeff gave Henry his nightly bottle. They are sound asleep in the bedroom. Henry has inch wormed his way toward the bottom of the bed, which is unusual. Even more unusual is that he is under the sheets (not completely) but usually he doesn't want sheets over him at all.
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