Henry Turns 3 Years Old!

Today is Henry's 3rd birthday! As Jeff said this morning, three years ago we couldn't have predicted where we are today. We have a brilliant, handsome son, a loving, beautiful daughter, and a very sweet baby (who may not be with us long-term but we are enjoying her while she is with us).

Throughout the day, I thought about exactly where I was three years ago. Around 8-9AM, I had walked our dogs Marley and Roger before getting ready for my OB appointment. Around 10-11AM, I remember the OB's assistant claiming that my blood pressure was 120/80, which we knew wasn't right, and I remember our concerns over realizing that we were dealing with an incompetent medical staff. Around noon, I was in triage. I remember the OB saying that the baby would probably have to be delivered that day. I remember Jeff's look of shock and questioning the doctor about what that would mean for his survival. Around 3PM, there was the helicopter ride from Northwest to UMC. Around 5:15PM, I remember being told to sign paperwork giving the UMC doctors to perform a c-section "if needed." And then, there was the doctor/resident who walked into the room 10 minutes after I had signed the papers announcing that I'd be going into surgery (the transition from hypothetical "if needed" to "going to surgery" was rather abrupt). I remember being wheeled out of my room and not wanting to die but being calm about it all the same. I remember being told by the nurse as they prepped me for surgery, cutting the new shirt off my back, that I was too calm and that it was OK to breakdown. I remember talking with Jeff throughout the surgery and hearing Henry's first cry. Our son's single cry. Our son who I never once felt kick in my womb. Surreal.

Henry's Birth Picture










Henry at a Couple Days Short of 3 Years Old (4/24/10)



















Henry at Age 3 (Actual):
* His climbing skills are excellent as demonstrated by the way he has attacked obstacle courses at Spring Fling and the Pima County Fair.
* He is becoming quite a good jumper. He likes to stand on top step of the landing and jump over the second step onto the floor of the living room.
* Henry's language skills are impressive. He has a nuanced understanding of terms. He corrects others for imprecise usage of words. He asks questions. He can predict consequences from observed events.
* Henry tested out of Early Intervention in March because he looked like a 3 year old in five key areas of development. And he did this based on his actual age, not adjusted age (which today would be 2 years 8.5 months).
* Henry is the single most self-directed individual whom I've ever met. As such, he is also the most stubborn person whom I've ever met as well. If he is told "no," his approach is to ask someone else to see what his/her answer will be. He has certainly learned that he can persuade me with a sweet smile or a hug.
* Despite his independent tendencies, he often thinks about others, probably Miss R most of all. They certainly have their toddler competitive/possessive tendencies over toys (as though we don't have plenty to go around in this house!). But Henry will often make sure that Miss R is taken care of. If we are headed out the door to go somewhere, Henry will make sure that Miss R is coming as well. And when he was out with my parents at Red Lobster on Tuesday, he wanted to go home so that he could share his dinner (popcorn shrimp) with Miss R. In his words, "R, you're my best friend!"
* Henry is affectionate. Although he is very independent in many ways, he likes personal contact. He will spontaneously give hugs and sit on laps. He is very keen on giving Baby A hugs. And he spontaneously tells members of the family that he loves them.
* Henry is definitely HM (high maintenance). He gets into trouble easily. His curiosity about the world has advantages and disadvantages. For us, it makes for a lot of work b/c supervision is imperative with Henry.

Today, someone at work said that we must be exhausted with three kids. I was actually feeling remarkable refreshed today. Kids are work, but it is certainly work that I enjoy. It is true that with a full-time job and kids, I have no outside hobbies and I don't watch TV (unless it is from staying up with Baby A at night...I have Troy on the telly right now). And, after having Henry, Miss R and Baby A don't really seem like that much work in comparison. I said how easy Baby A is. No oxygen canisters to lug around. No apnea monitors to fiddle with. Medical appointments are few and far between (unlike Henry's couple a week when he came home). No insomnia. "But your experience with Henry wasn't 'normal,'" she said. "But it was our normal," I replied. "It is what we knew, so other babies by definition are much easier to care for."

Our birthday celebration was hampered by Henry's illnesses. I think that his sores are getting better. Or at least he hasn't gotten worse. On his feet, I think that the topical is facilitating the cycle so that things will heal more quickly. They are still a mess. The sores on Henry's face are scabbing over and that is an improvement.

Henry was happy today watching TV. Jeff and Henry had a major argument when Jeff insisted that Henry take a nap. I was told by Jeff that he had won the argument. Once he settled down, he slept for a long time. In fact, Miss R and I didn't get home until 5:45PM and Henry had just arisen.

I bought a waffle iron and some cake mix at Target before picking up Miss R at daycare. Jeff made homemade waffles for dinner, and they were very good. Jeff also made a cake while I took care of the kids. Henry spoke with Grammy and then Aunt Carolyn on the phone. After we had dinner, we played in the living room.



We let Henry open a present: a Peter Pan figurine set. He was thrilled. We wanted to play with Captain Hook of course. He had the crocodile try to eat Captain Hook and Mr. Smee save him.
We don't know when we'll give him the rest of his gifts.

I'm not sure what we'll do with the kids tomorrow. Hopefully, we'll figure out something that doesn't involve the TV.

Triple Whammie

Disneyland's magical effect on our family is that someone seems to get sick every time a trip to DL is planned. On Tuesday afternoon, I made reservations for the following week at the Disneyland Hotel. Meanwhile, my parents decided that they wanted some one-on-one Henry time for their 42 year anniversary. Tuesdays are good days for that because Miss R sometimes has visits with her older bio siblings. Miss R had a great time when she got back. Her siblings had given her TONS of candy, and then she got some one-on-one time with me, Jeff, and Baby A while Henry was out. When my parents dropped off Henry, they reported that they'd taken him to Barnes & Noble (and gotten him lots of stuff b/c mom says she can't say "no" to Henry) and went to Red Lobster. I asked how Henry had behaved. Grammy said, "He was a perfect gentlemen." I guess that was the tip off that something was amiss.

On Tuesday night, Henry had a fever. We caught it before it hit 103 and gave him Motrin to keep it in check.

On Wednesday, McCall was the day's nanny. Fortunately, she said that she didn't mind taking care of Henry and Baby A. I had to work. And Jeff had jury duty. He was placed as a juror Tuesday afternoon on a criminal trial.

Henry didn't seem to mind too much being sick. I told the nanny to give him whatever snacks he wanted (it isn't as though he ever chooses candy) and tried to make it easier on her by allowing her to give him all of the TV he requested. He read books with her too.

I picked up Miss R after my workday had ended. We then went to the grocery store and didn't get home until 6:15PM. Henry was asleep when we arrived. He hadn't taken a nap, so when Jeff got home, he ushered him to bed.

I took the first shift with Baby A. She fell asleep around 10:30PM. Henry, however, got up at 11PM wanted a snack and wanted to watch TV. He stayed up watching TV while I intermittently napped beside him. Baby A woke up at 3AM. That meant she slept about 4.5 hours straight! I think that at some point around 4AM, I switched off with Jeff.

On Thursday, Jeff got me up at 7:15AM. Henry was already up eating pancakes. Apparently, he was famished and excited to eat. He actually ran to the kitchen table when he got up. Thursday mornings are Baby A's visits with bio mom. We gave her a bath before she was scheduled to be picked up. She really seemed to enjoy the bath and was very smiley. Her scheduled pick up time came and went. Then the driving service called wanted to know if she'd been picked up. That call went to the answering machine. So I called them back. Someone answered their phone and said that they'd look into it without asking for Baby A's name. I called Baby A's caseworker at CPS to let her know that she hadn't been picked up. I had to call her anyway b/c she had left a message the day before wanting to stop by Thursday or Friday for the monthly visit (two days left in the month). That was a bit difficult due to Jeff being on jury duty, Henry being sick, us having a visit for Miss R with Christy already scheduled, and me needing to work. But I said that 11:30AM, when Baby A was scheduled to return from her visit (assuming she was picked up for one), would be OK. And that was a good time for her. Jeff left with Miss R around 9:20AM. He had time to drop her off before he was scheduled to be at court. At 9:25AM, Baby A was picked up. That gave me two hours to get the house ready for the CPS visit.

Jeff had noticed some spots around Henry's mouth Wednesday night. By Thursday's breakfast, the spots looked red and angry. Henry had sores on his feet in-between his toes. I figured that he'd gotten hand, foot, and mouth from daycare. I was told my Miss Stephanie on Wednesday morning that someone had contracted it in one of the younger classrooms. I had called the ped's office at 8AM, and they had called back with a 1PM appointment time. I had described the red, angry, crusty spots, and the nurse said it sounded like something a little more than hand, foot, and mouth.

Baby A's caseworker showed up at 11:30AM. Baby A, however, hadn't yet arrived from her visit. The caseworker didn't have a lot of information. She gave me some impressions. There are two potential placements for Baby A, both of whom we were already aware. There are legitimate reasons why they haven't been chosen as placements (yet). It is truly unclear where the case is headed. Baby A arrived at 12:05PM. She was asleep. The caseworker got to see her, which fulfilled her CPS duties. The next CFT meeting has been scheduled for May 14. We may be able to get more information at that time.

During the caseworker's visit, Henry pretty much stayed in his room. Emma had arrived at noon to nanny. The caseworker left around 12:20PM. I turned Baby A over to Emma. Emma gave Henry a yellow balloon, which made him happy.

That happiness was short-lived because I told Henry we had to go to the doctor's office. This upset Henry because he wanted to watch Peter Pan. Henry was upset in the car. He couldn't be reasoned with. He threw a fit in the ped's office, so they ushered him into their weight room quickly. He weighed about 29 lbs on the big boy scale.

Diagnosis: (1) hand, foot, and mouth, (2) infantigo, and (3) pink eye.

The hand, foot, and mouth is viral. It is evident in his throat. It takes about 7 days to clear. Dr. Bianchi said that Henry should be OK to go to school on Monday. The infantigo is bacterial. It is probably an extension and mutation of the hand, foot, and mouth. Pink eye...who knows what kind it is. To quote Dr. Bianchi, "Henry's feet are a mess." Henry's now on an oral antibiotic, a topical for the feet and mouth, and has to take eye drops.

After the appointment, we stopped by Grammy's house to pick up alphabet cookies at Henry's request. We didn't get out of the car b/c I didn't want Henry to pass anything to my mom. Then, Henry and I went to Eegee's to get him some french fries. Then, we picked up his prescriptions.

Baby A was still asleep when we returned. Emma asked if she should wake her up, but I said to let her sleep. She'd been asleep probably 3 hours, but I figured that was OK. I got Henry settled in his room and gave him his medications.

Jeff's jury duties ended around 4PM. The trial is over. He picked up Miss R and took her to the store.

At 5:30PM, Christy from St. Nick's showed up. Our petition for Miss R's adoption should be ready and sent to the lawyer by the end of next week. Christy wanted to know what Miss R's new name should be on the paperwork. We are leaving her first name as is b/c it is a lovely name and is integral part of her identity. She'll be taking Jeff's last name. Christy is predicting that the adoption will be schedule for July.

Jeff and Miss R arrived about halfway through Christy's visit. Miss R threw a fit as soon as I said "How was your day?" She was so moody. Jeff said that she'd been perfectly happy at the store.

After Christy left, we let the kids eat dinner in front of the TV. Henry's choice: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. He likes the part where Harry battles the basilisk.

I gave Miss R a bath. She liked the bubbles. I found her particularly girlie nightgown that's pink with white polka dots and a sheer pink cover. She was happy with that.

The kids didn't go to bed until 10PM. While Jeff took Miss R potty, Henry crashed. He was getting quite moody and hadn't napped all day. Hopefully, he'll sleep late. Miss R will still be going to school however.

I had planned to send cupcakes and party favors to school with Henry on Friday. But Henry won't be going to school. I suppose that I can send those things along next week. We had also planned to take Henry and the girls to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner Friday night. We're canceling that too. We're also canceling Henry's family birthday celebration scheduled for Saturday. And I've canceled Saturday and Sunday plans to go to two parks with friends. Sigh. I'm hoping that we'll figure out something fun to do in-house tomorrow. It will be Henry's birthday after all.

"That makes me sad."

On Monday afternoon, I picked up the kids after my class. They were in the same classroom together b/c classes get condensed toward the end of the day. I peaked into the window and they both saw me. I kind of wish they hadn't seen me b/c I'd love to be able to spy on them and see how they really behave. Henry got up first, which made Miss R mad so she cried as though Henry had injured her. Then Miss Marissa and Miss Diana said, "Henry, don't be mean to your sister." He hadn't done anything wrong. Poor kid gets into trouble just b/c Miss R turned on the water works b/c she wanted to be first.

The kids were kind of moody. I think that it had everything to do with them being tired having skipped their naps on Sunday.

Baby A hadn't had a very good day. She caught her first cold, probably from Jeff who had been battling one throughout the weekend. She hadn't slept much during the day.

The Twins went to bed around 8PM or so. Earlier than usual for them, but they needed it. Jeff then took Baby A grocery shopping. We figured that the car ride would soothe her. Miss R was still up after Jeff and Baby A left, so I snuggled with her in her bed, which she loves.

Jeff woke me up at 6AM this morning. He said that Baby A had had a good night sleep-wise. She stayed in her crib from 5-8AM. That's a record length for consistent crib time. We are making progress. She didn't sound too sniffly this morning.

Jeff went to jury duty. I did Miss R's hair once the nanny arrived. Miss R was not happy b/c I decided to braid her hair. She struggled with me for 40 minutes (it should have taken 10-15 minutes).

Henry wanted to know where Daddy was.

KATE: Daddy went to jury duty.
HENRY: I want to go to jury duty.
KATE: Well, you can't go to jury duty.
HENRY: I want Daddy. That makes me sad.

I dropped off the kids at school and then went shopping for birthday party supplies at Party City. The supplies are for Henry's class. I'm making goodie bags for his classmates and bringing cup cakes on Friday for his birthday. We've decided not to have a full out party this year. We'll be taking Henry to Chuck E. Cheese with Miss R and Baby A on Friday night (his actual birthday). Then, we'll have a family dinner with Grammy, Poppy, Great Aunt Gloria, Aunt Erin, and Uncle Brian over the weekend. The following week, we are going to take The Twins to Disneyland. Henry and Miss R don't know that though. It's a secret.

A Busy But Great Weekend

On Friday, we picked up the kids at school and took them to Monkey Business. Miss Marissa said that Henry had a great afternoon. She said that there weren't as many kids at school, which made for a less chaotic classroom.

Henry and Miss R had fun at Monkey Business. Henry made progress on his skee ball skills. He always walks up the alley, but this time, he threw the balls into the 3,000 pt circle, which was a vast improvement over him placing them purposefully in the gutter. I won the kids some dinosaur toys from one of the machines.

On Saturday, we had quarterly fostercare training. We dropped off Henry and Miss R at Grammy and Poppy's house. They went shopping, ate their lunches, took long naps, and watched TV. Miss R spent a lot of time on my mom's lap. We picked them up in the late afternoon and went to the park in Oro Valley. They both had a good time. Henry concerned me by trying to boss around a kid who was probably in fourth or fifth grade, was 2 ft taller than him, and weighed at least three times as much as he did (maybe more...the kid was big). Fortunately, the kid didn't take Henry seriously. Henry also tried to ride down the rim of a slide because he'd seen a four year old do it. Miss R surprised me with her activity levels. When she first joined our family, she didn't move around much. While she isn't as active as Henry, she was nevertheless quite active and did an excellent job climbing around.























On Sunday, we took the kids to the Pima County Fair. The fair exceeded my expectations. The kids really had a fabulous time. We started off in one of the exhibit halls that had a shark tank and stingray petting area. What drew the kids' attention, however, was a big sandbox. They got very dusty and had a wonderful time. We went on several rides. Jeff took Henry on the big slide (similar, if not the exact same, as the one at Spring Fling). Then I took Miss R. The kids went on a pirate boat ride. Then, I took Henry and Miss R through a house of mirrors, while Jeff fed Baby A. Then, we went on something called the Dizzy Dragons, which they really liked. And then, Henry ran onto a climbing exhibit, although I'd run out of tickets by that point. The guy running it didn't charge me for Henry. Henry was fearless climbing up rope walls and such.























We went to the 4-H exhibit hall and looked at steer, chickens, roosters, ducks, and goats. We saw some horses from afar. Then, Jeff took Henry and Miss R to the petting zoo while I watched Baby A in the shade. We had planned to head home but walked through another exhibit hall that distracted us for a good hour. It had a HUGE train set. And there was a kids' area where kids could built walls with cushy blocks, play with a small train set, pick plastic apples from "orchard" trees, collect plastic eggs from a hen house, sit on a tractor, milk a fake cow, pick food from a garden, and dig for gold in a sandbox. It was absolutely perfect for our kids.

While the kids played in the gold sandbox, a little girl went up to Jeff and asked if she could touch Baby A's foot. Jeff let her. She asked if she could hold her, but Jeff politely said no. Baby A is still small and the little girl was probably not more than 8. It was cute though.

We let the kids watch The Great Mouse Detective and Aladdin in the late afternoon after we got home. Then Jeff gave The Twins a much needed bath.

All in all, it was a very good weekend.

A Mamma Mia! Tantrum

We had planned to take the kids to Monkey Business last night to celebrate Miss R being a member of our family for a year. But then I remembered that Alison, our caseworker from A Place To Call Home, was stopping by at 5:30PM for her monthly home inspection.

I found out that R&R Pizza provides deliver to our area (the boonies!). I was surprised and ecstatic. We haven't had delivery since Philly. So I ordered us dinner. I then picked up the kids at daycare. Apparently, Henry managed to end up in timeout for directly and purposefully disobeying a command. When I saw Miss R, I asked: "Were you a good girl today?" Miss Lulu answered: "Always. R is always a good girl." Miss R smiled.

Alison was at our house when Henry, Miss R, and I arrived. Nothing really to report from Alison. Like us, she hasn't heard from Baby A's caseworker at CPS so we have no idea how the case is going. Henry cracked up Alison. I can't remember what he did this time, but he always has some clever phrase up his sleeve that makes Alison laugh. He took Alison's keys and said that he was leaving.

After Alison left, we watched Mamma Mia!, which we hadn't seen in a long time. Henry stripped down to his diaper b/c the young man in the film was in his swim trunks. Henry sang along. All was well until the TV got turned off. And the result was a fabulous Henry tantrum that made me laugh. "No! I want to watch Mamma Mia again!" said Henry. Amazingly, Henry stopped his tantrum so that he could watch the video that I'd made of it. I think that his acting skills need a bit of work. Calling Aunt Erin (theater instructor)...

On Friday, I switched places with Jeff at 4AM. I'd taken care of Baby A and stayed in the living room. She slept from about 9:45PM to 1AM and then from 1:15AM to 4AM. I snoozed with her on my chest. I then got some work done before getting The Twins up. Jeff said that he was able to nap with her. So things are getting better on the sleep front.

The morning was beautiful. Here are some pictures from our backyard:




















The kids weren't too terrible to get to school. It helpd that snack time had arrived. I've noticed that the kids make very smooth transitions into their classes when food is involved.

I talked to Christy from St. Nick's. She received our adoption certification last week and filled out the internal St. Nick's paperwork and submitted it. Once her agency approves, she'll submit paperwork to the state. Yes!

I've placed a couple calls this week to the casework of Baby A's one year old brother about doing respite for him so that we could see if we are up to the task of four kids, but we haven't heard back from her. Perhaps she is just waiting for his hearing (mid-May) before getting another family involved. I would like to estabish a relationship between the siblings for their sakes.

That's all for now.

It's Been One Year!

On Wednesday morning, everyone was dragging. I had stayed up late preparing for my class, which required compiling video clips. I actually had fun doing it, but I definitely felt the lack of sleep. As I talked with Corinne, the lady who nannies most often for us and has a great touch with Baby A, I mentioned how Henry was turning 3 at the end of the month. She said, "Really? I assumed his age was closer to 4." At times, he does seem older (those times don't include the big tantrums over not wanting to go to school).

Poppy picked up the kids and took them home. Jeff said that at one point, the kids said goodbye and announced that they were going to Neverland. Henry and Miss R went into our room and played on the bed. Jeff also overheard Henry saying to Miss R, "R, you're my best friend!"

It was a struggle getting Henry to eat last night. Miss R was being stubborn too. Again, I ask: How did we end up with kids who don't want to eat? Miss R wanted her medicine, an appetite stimulant that tastes like a sugary syrup. I told her that she wasn't allowed her medicine until she tried one of her crackers with the dip on it that Jeff made. Surprise, suprise. Once she tasted it (having professed that she didn't like it prior to not tasting it), she loved it and ate quite a few (and also got her medicine). After dinner, Henry announced that he wanted popcicles. He and Miss R suddenly had an appetite at that point.

Henry sang his "Thank You" song from school for the camera:


I was dead tired Wednesday night. Jeff took over Baby A duty once The Twins were in bed. Sounds like Baby A was being good for Jeff. She fussed around midnight, and he fed her. Jeff didn't think she'd stirred until 5AM or so. I got up to take over at 5:15AM. Jeff had work to do at that point. We hope that Baby A will continue to extend her nightly sleeping.

I fed Baby A and then fell asleep with her on the couch. At 8AM, Jeff said, "Does A have a visit today?" Indeed, she did. And the transportation van was waiting outside for her, having arrived 20 minutes early. Jeff talked to the driver who said not to worry. She was early b/c she wanted to make sure that she'd found the place. Pick-up time wasn't until 8:20AM. We somehow managed to give Baby A a bath before getting her out the door at 8:20AM. She was unhappy about having her sleep disturbed, but other that that, all was well. Henry wanted to know where she was going. I decided to tell him that she has a "bio mommy" and she was going to visit her. I said that Baby was just staying with us for awhile. The truth is that we have no idea how long she'll be with us, but I think that there is a decent possibility that bio mom will get herself together enough to meet the court's threshold of "safe environment." And I really don't want Henry and Miss R to get hurt when Baby A leaves, so they have to be told that she's just with us awhile.

As I was about ready to leave the house with The Twins, Henry announced that he wanted some of my soy bacon. Then Miss R saw that Henry was eating soy bacon, so she wanted some. We ended up having a snack (after already having breakfast) before leaving the house. When I said that it was time to go to school, Miss R said "I don't want to go to school!" Henry added, "We want to stay here forever!" As cute as they are, I took them to school.

Henry was delighted that we ran into the two teachers who handle the baby rooms. They each take one of the cribs and load them up with their charges (4-5 kids) and push them around the school and the play yard for some fresh air in the mornings. I talked with the teachers while Henry said hi to the babies, which he loves to do. Miss R wasn't that interested. Perhaps now that we have Baby A (whom she frequently requests to hold), she's just not interested in any baby. One of the teachers asked me if we were adopting the baby. I said that we didn't know. Just depended on how bio mom did with her case plan. She said that they take care of a lot of foster kids. She asked me how long Miss R had been with us. And then I said, "What day is it?" Turned out that today is April 22. Miss R has been with our family for ONE YEAR! Wow!

So tonight, we are going to have a family night and celebrate!

Allergies

Monday and Tuesday were relatively uneventful days, which was good. My dad brought the kids home after school on Monday. My mom has unfortunately caught a cold, which isn't great considering that she is in the middle of her chemo treatments.

On Tuesday, Jeff and I had home check-ups for our insurance qualifications. The nurse drew our blood into vials. Miss R watched, fascinated. After the nurse was done with us, Henry plopped on the couch where Jeff had been sitting and told the nurse, "I want by blood drawn," which cracked her up. She hadn't heard that request from a two year old before.

Jeff picked up the kids after school. After dinner this evening, Henry went with me on a "walk" with the dogs. He wanted to "hold you," which means he wanted me to carry him. He rarely makes the request these days, so I of course did it.

Last night, he crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night. Jeff was on baby duty. The night before, Henry had crawled into bed with Jeff while I was on baby duty. I don't know what's going on with him, but all of us in the house have been coughing a lot. His coughing has been bad at night. Probably allergies. Jeff turned on the swamp cooler a few days ago. We are wondering if that's triggered lung issues for everyone. The baby is the only one who appears unaffected.

I enjoyed snuggling with Henry. I feel like I should make the most of these tender moments because he is growing up so fast.

We suspect that Henry's last molars may be coming in. He's been a bit cranky lately and I've seen him sticking his fingers in his mouth, which isn't a normal behavior for him.

We heard from our agency that the court finally sent them a copy of the adoption certification. The agency suspects that the court lost the original b/c they usually send original certificates not copies. In any event, the copy should do for the purposes of getting the ball rolling with Miss R's paperwork. I'm hoping that she'll be ours legally in a couple months.

We are considering taking Henry and Miss R to Disneyland in a couple weeks, once my classes are done. There remains the question: What do we do with Baby A? We could take her and then take turns with the toddlers on the rides. The other possibility is to use "respite" care. We are allowed 8 hours of respite care per child per month. We've never used a single respite hour. I talked with our family specialist, and she said that there would be no problem letting another foster family take care of Baby A for a couple days. We think that we might do that.

Old Tucson

I returned from Chicago on Saturday night. The place basically looked like hurricane had come through it, but everyone was well. Henry and Miss R were asleep.

On Friday, the kids (minus Baby A) went to my parents' house after school. And on Saturday, my dad picked up the kids after their nap and took him to their place so that Jeff could get some reprieve from the toddlers.

On Sunday, Henry announced that he wanted to watch SpongeBob's Halloween. He was told no. We don't watch TV in the morning. He believes that if he makes a demand enough times, one of us will eventually give in. I'm the weak link, but I stayed strong today against Henry's persuasive power. A part of our conversation went as follows:

HENRY: I want to watch SpongeBob's Halloween.
KATE: Henry, I've already told you no. My answer is no.
HENRY: Your answer is yes. The answer is yes. The answer is not no. The answer is yes.

I was impressed with his use of the double negative, but still didn't give in.

We decided to take the kids to Old Tucson. We hadn't been there since we went with our friend Kelly in 2006. The kids had never been there before. We had a good time. As we pulled into the parking lot, Henry noticed a film camera that had two circles at its top that made it look like the Mickey Mouse symbol.

Our first stop was a can can show. We bought the kids popcorn and a strawberry slushie. Miss R loved the show but was shy around the actresses. During the show, one of the can can girls sang a song and sang part of it to Henry. She thought he was adorable. He enjoyed the attention. He said hello to the cast after the show.

I took Henry and Miss R on a walking tour of a "haunted iron mine." The leader of the tour warned me that it was scary. I was confident that the kids could handle it. Miss R was held throughout the tour. Henry walked on his own. It was significantly scarier than the haunted house at the spring fling, but Henry liked it well enough to go on it again with Jeff after lunch.

After our first visit to the iron mine, we went on the antique cars. Jeff took the kids first, and then I did. Although we made it to the stunt show before 12:30, they'd roped it off so that we and several other people couldn't make our way to the stands. So we used the opportunity to take the kids to the bathroom in shifts. While outside one building, Henry struck up a conversation with a cowboy. The cowboy said to me, "He's certainly not shy. A lot of kids are." Henry told the cowboy that he (Henry) was Buzz Lightyear. That's our Henry. He's no wall flower.

We visited the jail on the way to the gold panning area. Henry liked the jail cell but wouldn't go in it. He was happy to close me behind bars, however, which sent Miss R into a tizzy. I think that she thought that I was literally being locked in a cage, which she found upsetting. We then headed to the panning for gold area. That didn't go as planned. Henry kept trying to drink the water that held the sand and gold. The kids couldn't tell the gold flakes from the rocks. But we panned for a couple minutes before having some lunch.

After lunch, Jeff took Henry on the haunted iron mine tour again. The tour guide remembered Henry and said that many kids bigger than Henry get scared on it. After that, the kids went on the carousel. Miss R went on it three times, and Henry went on it twice. Then, we went on a train around the park. It was almost 3PM by that point, so it was time to head home. We decided to trade up our daily tickets for annual passes. The sign at the front desk said that ticket purchases could be applied toward annual passes. This proved incredibly complicated for the staff who couldn't figure it out. After a half hour of waiting and then nearly being overcharged, I got testy with the cashier who was supposedly the "experienced" one of the lot. She said, "Well, I need time to think about this or I'll have to get my supervisor." I said, "It's been a half hour, my husband and kids are waiting in the car, this isn't a complicated transaction, get the manager if you have but do it now because I'm not waiting any longer." Argh.

Baby A was screaming when I got to the car. She settled down once the car was in motion. Henry and Miss R were sacked out.

The kids took a nap when we got home. Jeff and I ordered 2012 on pay per view. It was a good day.

After dinner, Henry got to watch Aladdin, so he was very happy. Miss R had fun ruffling Henry's hair like I usually do. Henry got annoyed after awhile when it inferred with watching the TV.

That's all from here. Hoping for an uneventful week.

Temper Temper

When I returned home from dropping off the kids at school on Wednesday morning, I told Jeff that I was betting that they'd watch Henry's class and be sure to try to get Henry on some infractions so as to not take responsibility for the morning's incident. That's pretty much what happened.

I picked up the kids. Miss R was happy to see me. She then asked to go find Henry. We did. Miss Valerie (whom I like very much) said that they'd taken the hitting boy aside, then made him apologize to Henry and give him a hug. She also said that the hitting boy is 3, so they'll be moving him to the 3 year old room. I said, "Henry turns 3 at the end of the month. Will he end up in the same classroom?" If the aggressive child's behavior doesn't do a 180, I don't want Henry around him for three reasons. First and foremost, I don't want Henry to get hurt. Second, I don't want Henry to be fearful of coming to school. And third, I don't want Henry to emulate bad behavior.

So then I talked with the developmental coordinator. She wasn't able to watch the class much as she'd said she'd do because they were "short staffed." She said that for the couple minutes she did observe, the boys were very rowdy and possessive of toys. Henry was possessive of a drum. I just knew that they'd try to slight Henry in some way to make the day's event seem like every kid does it, even mine. I said, "Look, I know that kids can be pushy and possessive, but the child who attacked Henry was qualitatively different than what I have witnessed other kids do. Yes, kids push, but this kid was extremely aggressive. Moreover, I hear that he is getting sent to the 3 year old room. Henry turns 3 at the end of the month. Will they be in the same class? Because I don't want that." She said that because Henry isn't potty trained and the other child isn't potty trained, they'd end up in the same class. I said, "Well that's a problem." I made sure she knew that I was unhappy about today's events and the situation in the hopes that they'll take it seriously. If they don't, we'll have to find another school. Given that the teachers (four of them) weren't watching the kids and they knew in advance that the hitting child has a history of problem behavior, they are liable. And I'm so vexed that I'd take action.

I took Henry and Miss R to Grammy and Poppy's house. They watched TV and had dinner. Then, Grammy and Poppy brought them home. Henry had Poppy's DVD of Peter Pan and didn't want to let it go, which resulted in a major meltdown. The kids were obviously tired. Jeff was trying to finish our taxes. Henry calmed down while I was on the telephone with Aunt Erin. He told her about how he wanted to watch Peter Pan. I got him some apple juice in a box, provided that he and Miss R sat on the floor. Then, it was time for bed. Jeff got the kids to sleep while I fed Baby A who had stirred. While I took care of Baby A, I watched two episodes of Super Nanny. Very informative.

Tomorrow, I travel to Chicago early in the morning. I return Saturday night. I have a MAPOR board meeting to attend. It is going to be a quick trip. I'm meeting with a colleague for dinner. Then, the board meeting is all day Saturday. Then, I come back home. But I return to Chicago in mid-May. I think that this trip makes it four visits in one year. I'm hoping that the house is still standing when I return and that the kids haven't driven Jeff crazy.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

On Thursday morning, Henry said goodbye to Baby A as she was picked up for her bio mom visitation and told her to have a good visit. He did not want to go to school. Henry said, "I want to stay here forever!"

I took the kids to school. Miss R didn't want to go into the play yard again. Henry gave me a hug and dashed off. Miss R and I said goodbye through the fence. She got defensive of me anytime another child would come over to say hello. She forcefully said, "No! That's my mommy!"

As I said goodbye to Miss R, I glanced at Henry who was playing on a bench with some boys. The teachers had their backs to the boys and the play equipment as they were talking with each other (four of them). I watched in horror as one boy basically started hitting the hell out of Henry. I dashed to the other side of the yard (I was still on the outside of the fence) and I shouted "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" The teachers finally noticed and rescued Henry who was very upset. I was very upset as well having never witnessed that degree of aggression. Miss Stephanie ran over to comfort Henry who was crying. Miss Diana said that the predator is a problem child. I asked if he was in Henry's class. She said yes. I'd never seen him before.

I left upset. I got my coffee at the Glass Onion, but then returned to the daycare 20 minutes later to talk with the front desk staff. I said that I had watched a child hit the hell out of my son and I wanted to know what they were going to do to protect him. I said that he has come back with abrasions on his body and cuts on his face the past two weeks. And, he has told me about the hitting. And, he doesn't want to come to school anymore. I said that I knew that boys could play a little bit rougher than girls. I said that I'd witnessed Aidan on more than one occasion try to hit Henry, but that the little boy who attacked Henry today was qualitatively different in his level of aggression. When Aidan hits, you can see it coming a mile away and the hitting isn't that hard. The developmental coordinator is going to watch Henry's classroom today. She asked if Henry had received any incident reports the last couple weeks. I said no. I noticed, however, the abrasions and cuts when he came home. So I will be talking with the coordinator when I pick up the kids later and see what the heck is going on.