On Wednesday morning, I fed Baby A around 4AM. After eating and snoozing in my arms, she refused the crib and didn't want to co-sleep. Jeff held her as I was dead tired having stayed up to finish editing a senior honors thesis. The student was on a tight deadline. Jeff managed to get Baby A back to bed by 6AM, but then Henry decided to get up.
The drop off at school was fine. Miss R has been reluctant to let me leave her, which is sad. Henry seems pretty happy to go to his class (still the old class). And Baby A is always the easiest of the three of them.
The Twins had their final swim lesson of the session. We've signed them up for more lessons, which start the second week of July. Miss R will stay in the Flounders class, and Henry will move up to the Pollywogs. Miss Natalie said that Miss R needs to continue working on dunking and getting her face wet, but she's doing very well at floating. Henry is doing well at everything but floating.
We went to Grammy and Poppy's house afterward and went swimming. Henry and Miss R had fun riding me like a horse, using my swim suit straps at the back as reighs. Then, we had dinner. At 8:35PM, I rushed off to Sunflower to get my coconut milk before the store closed. Jeff drove the kids home. All three were asleep by the time they arrived.
That's all from here...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Play-Doh and Dancing
On Tuesday, I dropped off the kids at school. It always takes longer than it should. They were supposed to start "transitioning" Henry to the 3 year old room, but the developmental coordinator was on a field trip, so they didn't try it. I guess it takes the title of "developmental coordinator" to walk a kid over to his new classroom and let him hang out there part of the day.
I picked up the kids at 4:15PM. Henry was laying on the floor. His friends thought I was funny b/c I hid behind a toy shelf so Henry wouldn't see me. They kind of gave me away though. Miss Valerie said that he had a good day.
When Henry and I appeared in Miss R's class, Miss R freaked out when other kids ran to me. She yelled, "That's my mommy, not your mommy!" several times. Baby A seemed to have had a good day and did some rolling for Miss Cecy.
We rushed home in time for our appointment with Christy from St. Nick's. The kids and dogs formed the welcoming committee. We signed a final form for her. I really like Christy. She has a happy disposition, but I can tell that she's also pragmatic in her assessments of the world. I like that combination. Not to mention that she always does what she says she is going to do. Very competent on paperwork. Why can't all caseworkers be like her?
Baby A was in fine form during the visit. She cooed as she played on the floor. Miss R was very happy and made "hamburgers" for me and Jeff as we signed paperwork. She and Henry really like making pretend food. Henry spent most of the time in the train room reading. He did, however, come out in his sparkly pink-jeweled high heels at one point, which made Christy laugh. His feet are the perfect length for those shoes, but his feet are getting a little wide for them. Nevertheless, he navigates the terrain pretty well in high heels (a benefit of all that toe-walking, I suppose).
After Christy left, we played with Play-doh (thanks Carolyn, Zak, Adelyn, and Spencer!). Henry ordered me to make animal cut outs in the Play-doh as he ate his snack. Then, we had dinner.
After dinner, Jeff took Baby A for a walk with the dogs. I stayed with the kids. They started to have a dispute on the slide. I ended up pulling Henry off the slide and kissing and tickling him to diffuse the situation. Then Miss R came down from the slide to be kissed and tickled too. I put on some music, and the kids danced. Miss R really wanted Henry to dance with her. But he kept saying "You are not my true love." So I danced with her. When Jeff came back from the walk, Miss R asked him to dance. And Jeff did...but only when the camera was off (he's as bad as The Twins). I asked Henry to dance, but he told me that I wasn't his true love either. Apparently, a true love is someone who will dance with you. That calls Jeff's and my "true love" status into question! ;)
Those are today's highlights. Signing off...
I picked up the kids at 4:15PM. Henry was laying on the floor. His friends thought I was funny b/c I hid behind a toy shelf so Henry wouldn't see me. They kind of gave me away though. Miss Valerie said that he had a good day.
When Henry and I appeared in Miss R's class, Miss R freaked out when other kids ran to me. She yelled, "That's my mommy, not your mommy!" several times. Baby A seemed to have had a good day and did some rolling for Miss Cecy.
We rushed home in time for our appointment with Christy from St. Nick's. The kids and dogs formed the welcoming committee. We signed a final form for her. I really like Christy. She has a happy disposition, but I can tell that she's also pragmatic in her assessments of the world. I like that combination. Not to mention that she always does what she says she is going to do. Very competent on paperwork. Why can't all caseworkers be like her?
Baby A was in fine form during the visit. She cooed as she played on the floor. Miss R was very happy and made "hamburgers" for me and Jeff as we signed paperwork. She and Henry really like making pretend food. Henry spent most of the time in the train room reading. He did, however, come out in his sparkly pink-jeweled high heels at one point, which made Christy laugh. His feet are the perfect length for those shoes, but his feet are getting a little wide for them. Nevertheless, he navigates the terrain pretty well in high heels (a benefit of all that toe-walking, I suppose).
After Christy left, we played with Play-doh (thanks Carolyn, Zak, Adelyn, and Spencer!). Henry ordered me to make animal cut outs in the Play-doh as he ate his snack. Then, we had dinner.
After dinner, Jeff took Baby A for a walk with the dogs. I stayed with the kids. They started to have a dispute on the slide. I ended up pulling Henry off the slide and kissing and tickling him to diffuse the situation. Then Miss R came down from the slide to be kissed and tickled too. I put on some music, and the kids danced. Miss R really wanted Henry to dance with her. But he kept saying "You are not my true love." So I danced with her. When Jeff came back from the walk, Miss R asked him to dance. And Jeff did...but only when the camera was off (he's as bad as The Twins). I asked Henry to dance, but he told me that I wasn't his true love either. Apparently, a true love is someone who will dance with you. That calls Jeff's and my "true love" status into question! ;)
Those are today's highlights. Signing off...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Potty Progress and Rolling
The morning started for me at 6AM, when Baby A started making noises. She usually cries out in desperation for her milk. She was noisy, but in a happy, playful kind of way. She'd managed to turn around 180 while on her back. That's definitely new. And she is enjoying her ability to lift her legs into the air.
In a big move this morning, Henry finally requested to use the potty when he got up! Yes! That's huge. He struggled with me yesterday, claiming that he didn't need to go. When I made him go, he pretty much could have doubled for Jimmy Dugan in the pee scene from A League of Their Own, which ends with Madonna's character Mae saying to Dugan "Boy, that was some good peeing." I have no doubt that Henry has great capacity to hold it, but there's no point on waiting for a misfire.
Getting the kids out of the house wasn't as chaotic as usual this morning. It helped that I had braided Miss R's hair last night, so she was ready to go once she got her clothes on. Baby A fell asleep in the car and was still sleeping when I handed her off to her teachers. Miss R didn't want to get out of the car, announcing that she was staying with me. When Jeff's mom, sister, and nephews visit in a couple weeks, she'll have extended no-school time then.
I talked with the developmental coordinator about moving Henry to a 3 year old classroom. She said that he had to have had no accidents for two weeks. I said that she could talk to Miss Stephanie or Miss Valerie and that he hadn't had an accident in three weeks. She said that they'd consider "transitioning" him...whatever that means.
I talked with our family specialist who sent off a response to Baby A's caseworker and the caseworker's supervisor. It basically said that she disagreed with the statements in Friday's email from the caseworker and the transport coordinator, but she thanked the caseworker for planning to provide a car seat. I'm sure that went over well with the caseworker (*sarcasm*). I decided not to respond as our family specialist pretty well said what needed to be said, and I'm trying to avoid a confrontation, although events later in the day suggest that she may have taken some subtle retaliatory measures against us.
We picked up The Twins at 3:30PM for swim lessons. Apparently, the developomental coordinator is creating a new test for Henry, seeing if he will wet himself if he is never asked to go potty, even though they do prompt the kids to go to the bathroom even in the potty-trained classrooms. She's really got a misguided authoritarian streak going on. At swim lessons, Henry was not excited about floating on his back. He wouldn't let go of the instructor's hair. I thought that Miss R did pretty well floating though. She also seemed to do a pretty good "froggy dive." The Twins favorite part was floating on the "magic carpet," which is a floating foam pad. We've gone ahead and signed them up for classes in July.
We headed back home after the lesson so that we'd be home when Baby A arrived. Dealing with more CPS nuttiness, but I'm not going to write about it. Simply too exhausting.
We had an early dinner b/c I had forgotten to eat lunch and was hungry. The kids watched Toy Story 2. While they did so, Baby A rolled over back to tummy!
I took Baby A on a walk with the dogs. We ran into Hal. Baby A grabbed Hal's finger and wouldn't get go so he walked with us for a couple minutes. Baby A was cooing at him the entire time. We parted from Hal and our other neighbor Jenine, her son, and grand daughter. We walked across the wash and up the road before the first house. A black car with major black tinting came our way. The window on the passenger side of the car rolled down. Hard to describe, but the cast of characters inside could have stepped out of Pulp Fiction. The driver wanted to know where a particular street was. I gave him directions, and they were off. They freaked me out. Perhaps it is all of the talk of drop houses being located in upper middle class neighborhoods owing to the past month's major bust. A house on the other side of our neighbors had suspicious nightly activity going on according to a couple neighbors. Perhaps it was the cop cars roaming our quiet out of the way neighborhood a couple days ago. Yeeesh.
Jeff played with The Twins. He did airplanes with them (where he holds their hands and lift them into the air with his legs). Miss R slipped on one, but she managed to rebound without distress. Henry decided that airplanes were most fun when he let go of Daddy's hands and then clung completely to Daddy's feet. The night ended without injury.
On tomorrow's agenda is a home visit from Miss R's caseworker from St. Nick's to sign some final paperwork.
Signing off from The Wild Kingdom...
In a big move this morning, Henry finally requested to use the potty when he got up! Yes! That's huge. He struggled with me yesterday, claiming that he didn't need to go. When I made him go, he pretty much could have doubled for Jimmy Dugan in the pee scene from A League of Their Own, which ends with Madonna's character Mae saying to Dugan "Boy, that was some good peeing." I have no doubt that Henry has great capacity to hold it, but there's no point on waiting for a misfire.
Getting the kids out of the house wasn't as chaotic as usual this morning. It helped that I had braided Miss R's hair last night, so she was ready to go once she got her clothes on. Baby A fell asleep in the car and was still sleeping when I handed her off to her teachers. Miss R didn't want to get out of the car, announcing that she was staying with me. When Jeff's mom, sister, and nephews visit in a couple weeks, she'll have extended no-school time then.
I talked with the developmental coordinator about moving Henry to a 3 year old classroom. She said that he had to have had no accidents for two weeks. I said that she could talk to Miss Stephanie or Miss Valerie and that he hadn't had an accident in three weeks. She said that they'd consider "transitioning" him...whatever that means.
I talked with our family specialist who sent off a response to Baby A's caseworker and the caseworker's supervisor. It basically said that she disagreed with the statements in Friday's email from the caseworker and the transport coordinator, but she thanked the caseworker for planning to provide a car seat. I'm sure that went over well with the caseworker (*sarcasm*). I decided not to respond as our family specialist pretty well said what needed to be said, and I'm trying to avoid a confrontation, although events later in the day suggest that she may have taken some subtle retaliatory measures against us.
We picked up The Twins at 3:30PM for swim lessons. Apparently, the developomental coordinator is creating a new test for Henry, seeing if he will wet himself if he is never asked to go potty, even though they do prompt the kids to go to the bathroom even in the potty-trained classrooms. She's really got a misguided authoritarian streak going on. At swim lessons, Henry was not excited about floating on his back. He wouldn't let go of the instructor's hair. I thought that Miss R did pretty well floating though. She also seemed to do a pretty good "froggy dive." The Twins favorite part was floating on the "magic carpet," which is a floating foam pad. We've gone ahead and signed them up for classes in July.
We headed back home after the lesson so that we'd be home when Baby A arrived. Dealing with more CPS nuttiness, but I'm not going to write about it. Simply too exhausting.
We had an early dinner b/c I had forgotten to eat lunch and was hungry. The kids watched Toy Story 2. While they did so, Baby A rolled over back to tummy!
I took Baby A on a walk with the dogs. We ran into Hal. Baby A grabbed Hal's finger and wouldn't get go so he walked with us for a couple minutes. Baby A was cooing at him the entire time. We parted from Hal and our other neighbor Jenine, her son, and grand daughter. We walked across the wash and up the road before the first house. A black car with major black tinting came our way. The window on the passenger side of the car rolled down. Hard to describe, but the cast of characters inside could have stepped out of Pulp Fiction. The driver wanted to know where a particular street was. I gave him directions, and they were off. They freaked me out. Perhaps it is all of the talk of drop houses being located in upper middle class neighborhoods owing to the past month's major bust. A house on the other side of our neighbors had suspicious nightly activity going on according to a couple neighbors. Perhaps it was the cop cars roaming our quiet out of the way neighborhood a couple days ago. Yeeesh.
Jeff played with The Twins. He did airplanes with them (where he holds their hands and lift them into the air with his legs). Miss R slipped on one, but she managed to rebound without distress. Henry decided that airplanes were most fun when he let go of Daddy's hands and then clung completely to Daddy's feet. The night ended without injury.
On tomorrow's agenda is a home visit from Miss R's caseworker from St. Nick's to sign some final paperwork.
Signing off from The Wild Kingdom...
Sunday, June 27, 2010
"Take my hand. Let's dance."
On Sunday, we had decided not to go anywhere. We usually go somewhere each weekend day, but today we wanted to have an easy going day. In retrospect, staying home with three children (especially two toddlers) can never be described as "easy going." Henry was in classic Henry form, driving Jeff crazy with his opposition at every turn.
I gave the kids showers in the morning. The carrot for getting them into the shower was pulling out Miss R's Beauty and the Beast Belle dress and Henry's Spiderman outfit. They happily took their showers so that they could wear their costumes. Once they were in their outfits, Henry said to Miss R, "Take my hand. Let's dance."
I went to Jeff's desk to get some CDs. Meanwhile, I heard Henry run after Miss R saying, "Kiss me. Kiss me. You're my true love." Henry was trying to reenact Beauty and the Beast. They'd been reading it in their Story Reader earlier in the morning. Once the music got going, Henry again asked Miss R to take his hand and dance. She said no. He again used the "true love" plea, but she wanted to go swimming in the ball pit. So Henry sat down with his Story Read and read instead. By then, of course, Miss R wanted to dance, but Henry said no. So she said, "But you're my true love." Her dancing plea fell on deaf ears however. Henry's attention was on the book. Jeff laughingly said, "I'm afraid that ship has sailed." Miss R sternly told him, "No, Daddy." The kids horsed around the living room throughout the morning. Henry enjoyed being Spiderman, and Miss R loved being Belle.
The kids had macaroni and cheese for lunch. They didn't protest too much when told it was time for a nap. I fed Miss R on the couch and fell asleep. She'd been up since 6AM. Once the kids were asleep, Jeff headed off the estate to get supplies at the grocery store. Henry got up before Miss R did, but both took decent naps.
I made steamed artichokes for an appetizer. Miss R really seemed to like it. Jeff thought that it was too much work for little food, and Henry refused to try it. The kids were pains about eating their dinner. Having talked about chicken nuggets for hours, Henry didn't want to eat those on his plate. Miss R did pretty well on her chicken nuggets and ate all of her corn, but she refused to try to fruit salad.
We let them watch a Sponge Bob episode before bed while I braided Miss R's hair. I am hoping that the braids stay in place come morning.
Tomorrow, Baby A has a visitation with bio mom. And I plan to talk with the daycare about getting Henry into the 3 year old potty trained classroom.
I gave the kids showers in the morning. The carrot for getting them into the shower was pulling out Miss R's Beauty and the Beast Belle dress and Henry's Spiderman outfit. They happily took their showers so that they could wear their costumes. Once they were in their outfits, Henry said to Miss R, "Take my hand. Let's dance."
I went to Jeff's desk to get some CDs. Meanwhile, I heard Henry run after Miss R saying, "Kiss me. Kiss me. You're my true love." Henry was trying to reenact Beauty and the Beast. They'd been reading it in their Story Reader earlier in the morning. Once the music got going, Henry again asked Miss R to take his hand and dance. She said no. He again used the "true love" plea, but she wanted to go swimming in the ball pit. So Henry sat down with his Story Read and read instead. By then, of course, Miss R wanted to dance, but Henry said no. So she said, "But you're my true love." Her dancing plea fell on deaf ears however. Henry's attention was on the book. Jeff laughingly said, "I'm afraid that ship has sailed." Miss R sternly told him, "No, Daddy." The kids horsed around the living room throughout the morning. Henry enjoyed being Spiderman, and Miss R loved being Belle.
The kids had macaroni and cheese for lunch. They didn't protest too much when told it was time for a nap. I fed Miss R on the couch and fell asleep. She'd been up since 6AM. Once the kids were asleep, Jeff headed off the estate to get supplies at the grocery store. Henry got up before Miss R did, but both took decent naps.
I made steamed artichokes for an appetizer. Miss R really seemed to like it. Jeff thought that it was too much work for little food, and Henry refused to try it. The kids were pains about eating their dinner. Having talked about chicken nuggets for hours, Henry didn't want to eat those on his plate. Miss R did pretty well on her chicken nuggets and ate all of her corn, but she refused to try to fruit salad.
We let them watch a Sponge Bob episode before bed while I braided Miss R's hair. I am hoping that the braids stay in place come morning.
Tomorrow, Baby A has a visitation with bio mom. And I plan to talk with the daycare about getting Henry into the 3 year old potty trained classroom.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A Quarter
On Saturday morning, Baby A was the first one up. Jeff had fed her at 4AM, so I got up at 6AM. She was happy as could be. She did, however, vomit up breakfast, which got into her hair. As a result, she was bathed. Her hair was particularly curly after it.
We took the kids to the Children's Museum. We hadn't been there in a long time. Henry and Miss R loved it. It was a bit harder keeping track of the two of them while holding Baby A. We ran into the kids' dentist, Dr. Bunch. Jeff and I chatted with him for a little bit. He's a very nice person and an excellent pediatric dentist. When we first saw him, we had a hard time placing him as he was out of context for us. It was busy at the museum, but the kids got to see and touch everything that they wanted to. All in all, a good trip.
We had a late lunch at IHOP. Henry was loud and generally uncooperative, but he ate fairly well. Miss R ate some. After lunch, we headed to my parents' house. It was about 2:45PM and the kids had not yet napped. My parents offered to take care of them so that Jeff and I could watch a movie. Henry dosed in the car but became alert when I tried to put him on my parents' bed. Miss R slept soundly. Jeff got Henry back to bed, where he stayed for all of 20 minutes claiming to have napped.
Poppy asked Henry to go potty. Henry said no, he didn't want to go potty. My dad asked again for him to go potty. Henry said no. Then, Poppy said, "Henry, I'll give you a quarter if you go potty." Henry said, "Yeah!" and then ran off to the bathroom. So Henry managed to earn a quarter for peeing. Just wondering what kind of precendent this sets!
Jeff and I went to the Oracle View, a second-run theater, to see Kick-Ass, which is can be described as Kill Bill meets Napoleon Dynamite. We picked up dinner for everyone and came home. Before dinner, we went swimming with Henry and Miss R. Henry didn't eat well for dinner, but Miss R managed to polish off her rice and half of Henry's.
I'm sure that I'm missing cute Henry-isms and R-isms. But I'm exhausted. So I'm going to sign off.
We took the kids to the Children's Museum. We hadn't been there in a long time. Henry and Miss R loved it. It was a bit harder keeping track of the two of them while holding Baby A. We ran into the kids' dentist, Dr. Bunch. Jeff and I chatted with him for a little bit. He's a very nice person and an excellent pediatric dentist. When we first saw him, we had a hard time placing him as he was out of context for us. It was busy at the museum, but the kids got to see and touch everything that they wanted to. All in all, a good trip.
We had a late lunch at IHOP. Henry was loud and generally uncooperative, but he ate fairly well. Miss R ate some. After lunch, we headed to my parents' house. It was about 2:45PM and the kids had not yet napped. My parents offered to take care of them so that Jeff and I could watch a movie. Henry dosed in the car but became alert when I tried to put him on my parents' bed. Miss R slept soundly. Jeff got Henry back to bed, where he stayed for all of 20 minutes claiming to have napped.
Poppy asked Henry to go potty. Henry said no, he didn't want to go potty. My dad asked again for him to go potty. Henry said no. Then, Poppy said, "Henry, I'll give you a quarter if you go potty." Henry said, "Yeah!" and then ran off to the bathroom. So Henry managed to earn a quarter for peeing. Just wondering what kind of precendent this sets!
Jeff and I went to the Oracle View, a second-run theater, to see Kick-Ass, which is can be described as Kill Bill meets Napoleon Dynamite. We picked up dinner for everyone and came home. Before dinner, we went swimming with Henry and Miss R. Henry didn't eat well for dinner, but Miss R managed to polish off her rice and half of Henry's.
I'm sure that I'm missing cute Henry-isms and R-isms. But I'm exhausted. So I'm going to sign off.
Friday, June 25, 2010
A Day of Hearings
On Friday morning, I dropped off Henry and Baby A but took Miss R to an appointment with Henry's ENT. Sometimes it seems like she can't hear. Is that a reflection of a hearing problem or toddler stubbornness? Before Miss R's CMDP insurance ends, I figured that it was best to get her tested. She has fluid in one ear, where there is mild hearing loss, and a retracted ear drum in the other. Dr. Dean thinks that we should wait two months, have him look at the situation again, before moving to ear tubes.
I dropped Miss R off at school. Then headed to Baby A's hearing. I talked with her lawyer for a couple minutes before the hearing. He'd received the update from his assistant Martha. I told him that I wasn't sure it was a good idea to mention the whole car seat debacle. I really didn't want to anger the caseworker. In his opinion, it was appropriate to mention in court b/c he said that for liability reasons, we should NOT have to be providing the car seat for CPS' driving service. If they lost it, he didn't think that CPS would provide us with a new one. He didn't think that it was too much to ask for the driving service to provide the appropriate equipment to transport a child. He said that he'd also request that we be allowed to take Baby A out of state the second week of August for a family trip. On the breach of privacy over the daycare location issue, he recommended that we not mention it in court for now. His assistant had been appalled that the driving service would hand a sheet with the baby's daycare location to the bio mom. In his judgment, she hasn't shown enough initiative to suggest that she'd take action. So I said that it was fine to let it lie. He asked me if we were still contemplating adoption or whether we'd made a decision. I said that if reunification is not possible, we very much want to adopt Baby A.
Court. The judge to whom the case has been assigned was not there. Another judge heard today's case. She was legal poetry in motion. Efficient. Quick. Fair. Upholding the law. I can't get into the details, but she simply laid out what bio mom has to do in the next three months to get a continuance for more time to complete the case plan. Now that ball is in bio mom's court. Baby A's lawyer said that the baby was doing well. He also brought up the concerns over safe transportation. I'm quite sure that the caseworker wasn't expecting me to be proactive in discussing this with her lawyer. It is unfortunate that I had to have the lawyer bring up safety concerns in transportation. But we've been dealing with this transportation BS since the beginning of the case. I suspect that bio mom's lawyer was loving this. It isn't often that you have a foster parent basically say in court that CPS isn't doing its job right. It doesn't make "the state" look good. Anyway, Baby A's lawyer said that he thought that the driving service should come prepared. He didn't think that we should be providing our personal property to the state for liability reasons. But he said that I was willing to provide it if that was the only way to get the baby there safely. The judge lamented on the transportation sloppiness and thanked me for the offer but hoped that CPS would straighten this out. There is a permanency hearing set for the beginning of September. It will go back to the judge who has never heard this case (although it was technically assigned to him back in March). It is unlikely that Baby A would return to bio mom in September. Either she will make substantial effort on the case plan and get time extended or rights to Baby A will be severed.
A new CPS caseworker has been assigned to Baby A's case. She'll be taking over for the current one. I'm hoping that the current one hasn't poisoned the well. This afternoon, I was CC'd on an email where the current caseworker thanked the driving service for clarifying what had happened in the transportation mix up. The driving service was lying. They claimed to have provided car seats except when I wanted her transported in ours. LIE, LIE, LIE. He also said that it "could never happen" that a driver would take someone else's car seat. AHHH, DUDE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED MONDAY. And then the current caseworker thanked him for clarifying the "miscommunication" and said it was unfortunate that I brought this matter up in court. Interesting that she never reiterated to him that she had personally requested that a car seat be provided by the driving service. She told me twice that she had put it in bold letters on the transportation order. I was totally ready to move past this, but these two jerks were obviously trying to cover their backsides b/c it was brought up in court. I haven't responded yet. But as they are trying to make it seem like I made all of this stuff up or am somehow confused, a response it going to happen. Our family specialist is taking up the issue with her management b/c they were the ones who had trouble with this particular caseworker before when they blew the whistle on some of her unethical activities. I just don't want her to retaliate by making bad decisions for Baby A. I'll be relieved when the case is in someone else's hands.
Daycare. Jeff and I don't see eye to eye on the daycare situation in terms of our evaluation of Daisy. No, Daisy isn't as pretty as CLA. And yes, the rooms are smaller so the feel is slightly more chaotic b/c they have a lot of stuff crammed in a smaller space. The rooms at CLA are huge. I suspect that part of Jeff's problem in making the comparison is that he hasn't spent as much time as I have at CLA when I see the chaotic nature of kids. I was the one after all who watched Henry get attacked by that one kid. Not just hit, but attacked. I am still vexed that the kid wasn't written up for it and was left in Henry's room for several weeks. I suspect that Jeff thinks that daycares should always look like Miss R's classroom. Miss Lulu and Miss Diana have an usual gift with toddlers. Their classroom is always in order. Maybe I should investigate to see if they've secretly replaced all of the kids in their class with Stepford kids or something.
It often looks kind of chaotic in Henry's classroom...although since the male-female ratio has changed, the feel of the class is completely different. Yesterday, when I picked up Henry, I noticed that all of the boys minus Henry were sitting in the kitchenette area. The teachers aren't allowed to give kids "timeouts" but sometimes they put them near a wall and let them think for a few minutes. Henry was with the gals in the class being read a book by Miss Valerie. Henry loves his books.
I obviously can't move the kids without compliance from Jeff. It didn't help his impression of the school when we entered the 2 year classroom, which was having PE instruction, and the teacher was holding a child who had bumped his head pretty good. The lump was pronounced, and the teacher was holding a bag of ice on it. I think that Jeff was more affected by seeing that than I was. I can only imagine that parents visiting CLA weren't impressed by Henry's blood gushing chin wound when a classmate hit him with a puzzle piece on the chin.
As Jeff mentioned, the daycare director did apologize yesterday and asked what we had decided to do. I said that I planned to talk about the matter with the baby's lawyer and see what he thought we should do. She also said that if we had to move, she wouldn't require the 2 weeks notice. So that was good. But there is still the issue of Henry. He simply can't stay in a 2 year classroom forever. In reality, I am cognizant of the fact that he isn't yet 3 adjusted. However, based on his developmental evaluations, he was in the 50th percentile for a 3 year old on many skills (slightly better than that for speech) when he was about 2.5 adjusted. That suggests to me that we should move him where he will be challenged.
Assuming that Henry gets moved into a 3 year old class, one of the potty trained classes without the child with the behavior problems, I think I'll be OK with keeping the kids where they are...for now. But I do want the kids to attend the Sonoran Science Academy for kindergarten. And being enrolled in Daisy will help that happen. In other words, come next year, he and Miss R should be enrolled there.
Jeff thought that we needed to do something fun tonight with the kids to take our minds off of the CPS fiasco. We picked up Baby A first, then Miss R, and then Henry. Miss R was in a different set of clothes from the ones she wore to school. She had an accident while waiting for another kid to use the bathroom. She tried to hold it, but the other kid took a long of time, too long. Henry was excited to see us. He got to show off Baby A to some of his classmates. Interestingly, it was his female classmates who surrounded me and Baby A. They wanted to touch her hair. They were very gentle. In comparison, his friend Joaquin came over, looked at the baby, and then hightailed it to where the action was and Baby A wasn't it! I had to wonder if gender difference really are programmed into us at such young ages.
We went to Monkey Business. Everyone had a good time. We played lots of games and ate cheese crisps, mushrooms, zucchini, and onion rings. Plus, we got homemade ice cream. Miss R was most thrilled with the fruit punch and the ice cream.
Henry tried to join in a game of tag with kids who were probably in fifth grade. He doesn't seem to notice age differences. He spent quite a bit of time with the Monkey Business monkey who got Henry to mimic him in a game of monkey see, monkey do. Monkey would raise the roof, so Henry would raise the roof. Monkey would clap, so Henry would clap. Miss R was very shy and hung out with me.
At one point, Henry bonked his head (again) while climbing on the plastic hippo. He started to make a crying-ish sound. He wasn't really crying as I saw no tears. But he needed comfort and recognition of his "wounds," so I said, "Henry, come here. Let me look at it. I am afterall a doctor" and then dropped my voice to add "of philosophy." And I kissed his head. I didn't think Henry was paying attention to my voice, but he said "Thank you doctor philosophy." It was so darn funny.
I read the kids some books when we came home. Henry got into trouble for not brushing his teeth and hitting Jeff. That earned him a timeout before bed. Baby A had a little bit of a bottle, but crashed shortly after and has been in bed ever since. Miss R went to sleep, but she's called out a couple times.
Signing off from the Wild Kingdom...
I dropped Miss R off at school. Then headed to Baby A's hearing. I talked with her lawyer for a couple minutes before the hearing. He'd received the update from his assistant Martha. I told him that I wasn't sure it was a good idea to mention the whole car seat debacle. I really didn't want to anger the caseworker. In his opinion, it was appropriate to mention in court b/c he said that for liability reasons, we should NOT have to be providing the car seat for CPS' driving service. If they lost it, he didn't think that CPS would provide us with a new one. He didn't think that it was too much to ask for the driving service to provide the appropriate equipment to transport a child. He said that he'd also request that we be allowed to take Baby A out of state the second week of August for a family trip. On the breach of privacy over the daycare location issue, he recommended that we not mention it in court for now. His assistant had been appalled that the driving service would hand a sheet with the baby's daycare location to the bio mom. In his judgment, she hasn't shown enough initiative to suggest that she'd take action. So I said that it was fine to let it lie. He asked me if we were still contemplating adoption or whether we'd made a decision. I said that if reunification is not possible, we very much want to adopt Baby A.
Court. The judge to whom the case has been assigned was not there. Another judge heard today's case. She was legal poetry in motion. Efficient. Quick. Fair. Upholding the law. I can't get into the details, but she simply laid out what bio mom has to do in the next three months to get a continuance for more time to complete the case plan. Now that ball is in bio mom's court. Baby A's lawyer said that the baby was doing well. He also brought up the concerns over safe transportation. I'm quite sure that the caseworker wasn't expecting me to be proactive in discussing this with her lawyer. It is unfortunate that I had to have the lawyer bring up safety concerns in transportation. But we've been dealing with this transportation BS since the beginning of the case. I suspect that bio mom's lawyer was loving this. It isn't often that you have a foster parent basically say in court that CPS isn't doing its job right. It doesn't make "the state" look good. Anyway, Baby A's lawyer said that he thought that the driving service should come prepared. He didn't think that we should be providing our personal property to the state for liability reasons. But he said that I was willing to provide it if that was the only way to get the baby there safely. The judge lamented on the transportation sloppiness and thanked me for the offer but hoped that CPS would straighten this out. There is a permanency hearing set for the beginning of September. It will go back to the judge who has never heard this case (although it was technically assigned to him back in March). It is unlikely that Baby A would return to bio mom in September. Either she will make substantial effort on the case plan and get time extended or rights to Baby A will be severed.
A new CPS caseworker has been assigned to Baby A's case. She'll be taking over for the current one. I'm hoping that the current one hasn't poisoned the well. This afternoon, I was CC'd on an email where the current caseworker thanked the driving service for clarifying what had happened in the transportation mix up. The driving service was lying. They claimed to have provided car seats except when I wanted her transported in ours. LIE, LIE, LIE. He also said that it "could never happen" that a driver would take someone else's car seat. AHHH, DUDE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED MONDAY. And then the current caseworker thanked him for clarifying the "miscommunication" and said it was unfortunate that I brought this matter up in court. Interesting that she never reiterated to him that she had personally requested that a car seat be provided by the driving service. She told me twice that she had put it in bold letters on the transportation order. I was totally ready to move past this, but these two jerks were obviously trying to cover their backsides b/c it was brought up in court. I haven't responded yet. But as they are trying to make it seem like I made all of this stuff up or am somehow confused, a response it going to happen. Our family specialist is taking up the issue with her management b/c they were the ones who had trouble with this particular caseworker before when they blew the whistle on some of her unethical activities. I just don't want her to retaliate by making bad decisions for Baby A. I'll be relieved when the case is in someone else's hands.
Daycare. Jeff and I don't see eye to eye on the daycare situation in terms of our evaluation of Daisy. No, Daisy isn't as pretty as CLA. And yes, the rooms are smaller so the feel is slightly more chaotic b/c they have a lot of stuff crammed in a smaller space. The rooms at CLA are huge. I suspect that part of Jeff's problem in making the comparison is that he hasn't spent as much time as I have at CLA when I see the chaotic nature of kids. I was the one after all who watched Henry get attacked by that one kid. Not just hit, but attacked. I am still vexed that the kid wasn't written up for it and was left in Henry's room for several weeks. I suspect that Jeff thinks that daycares should always look like Miss R's classroom. Miss Lulu and Miss Diana have an usual gift with toddlers. Their classroom is always in order. Maybe I should investigate to see if they've secretly replaced all of the kids in their class with Stepford kids or something.
It often looks kind of chaotic in Henry's classroom...although since the male-female ratio has changed, the feel of the class is completely different. Yesterday, when I picked up Henry, I noticed that all of the boys minus Henry were sitting in the kitchenette area. The teachers aren't allowed to give kids "timeouts" but sometimes they put them near a wall and let them think for a few minutes. Henry was with the gals in the class being read a book by Miss Valerie. Henry loves his books.
I obviously can't move the kids without compliance from Jeff. It didn't help his impression of the school when we entered the 2 year classroom, which was having PE instruction, and the teacher was holding a child who had bumped his head pretty good. The lump was pronounced, and the teacher was holding a bag of ice on it. I think that Jeff was more affected by seeing that than I was. I can only imagine that parents visiting CLA weren't impressed by Henry's blood gushing chin wound when a classmate hit him with a puzzle piece on the chin.
As Jeff mentioned, the daycare director did apologize yesterday and asked what we had decided to do. I said that I planned to talk about the matter with the baby's lawyer and see what he thought we should do. She also said that if we had to move, she wouldn't require the 2 weeks notice. So that was good. But there is still the issue of Henry. He simply can't stay in a 2 year classroom forever. In reality, I am cognizant of the fact that he isn't yet 3 adjusted. However, based on his developmental evaluations, he was in the 50th percentile for a 3 year old on many skills (slightly better than that for speech) when he was about 2.5 adjusted. That suggests to me that we should move him where he will be challenged.
Assuming that Henry gets moved into a 3 year old class, one of the potty trained classes without the child with the behavior problems, I think I'll be OK with keeping the kids where they are...for now. But I do want the kids to attend the Sonoran Science Academy for kindergarten. And being enrolled in Daisy will help that happen. In other words, come next year, he and Miss R should be enrolled there.
Jeff thought that we needed to do something fun tonight with the kids to take our minds off of the CPS fiasco. We picked up Baby A first, then Miss R, and then Henry. Miss R was in a different set of clothes from the ones she wore to school. She had an accident while waiting for another kid to use the bathroom. She tried to hold it, but the other kid took a long of time, too long. Henry was excited to see us. He got to show off Baby A to some of his classmates. Interestingly, it was his female classmates who surrounded me and Baby A. They wanted to touch her hair. They were very gentle. In comparison, his friend Joaquin came over, looked at the baby, and then hightailed it to where the action was and Baby A wasn't it! I had to wonder if gender difference really are programmed into us at such young ages.
We went to Monkey Business. Everyone had a good time. We played lots of games and ate cheese crisps, mushrooms, zucchini, and onion rings. Plus, we got homemade ice cream. Miss R was most thrilled with the fruit punch and the ice cream.
Henry tried to join in a game of tag with kids who were probably in fifth grade. He doesn't seem to notice age differences. He spent quite a bit of time with the Monkey Business monkey who got Henry to mimic him in a game of monkey see, monkey do. Monkey would raise the roof, so Henry would raise the roof. Monkey would clap, so Henry would clap. Miss R was very shy and hung out with me.
At one point, Henry bonked his head (again) while climbing on the plastic hippo. He started to make a crying-ish sound. He wasn't really crying as I saw no tears. But he needed comfort and recognition of his "wounds," so I said, "Henry, come here. Let me look at it. I am afterall a doctor" and then dropped my voice to add "of philosophy." And I kissed his head. I didn't think Henry was paying attention to my voice, but he said "Thank you doctor philosophy." It was so darn funny.
I read the kids some books when we came home. Henry got into trouble for not brushing his teeth and hitting Jeff. That earned him a timeout before bed. Baby A had a little bit of a bottle, but crashed shortly after and has been in bed ever since. Miss R went to sleep, but she's called out a couple times.
Signing off from the Wild Kingdom...
The Roller Coaster
Today we had an early call from our foster care agency rep. Apparently our agency blew the whistle on our CPS case worker for baby A at some time in the past (nothing in regard to us or baby A). That might explain the poor relationship we have had with her.
We took the kids to see a new daycare we are considering moving them to. Kate and I had visited earlier in the week. It has a lot going for it. Kate was ready to fill out the paper work. I had a very negative reaction to what I saw today. It seemed very crowded last time. This time it was the noise and chaos that got to me. Kate pointed out that if the facilities were bigger, they are a rather small daycare with moderate sized rooms with lots of kids and things in them, then I probably wouldn't notice as much. That is true but they aren't so I did.
Henry made himself at home. He didn't seem to interact with the kids but he played with toys and one of the teachers showed him how to use scissors which is a scary prospect in his hands. Until he learns to treat the cats better I don't think he'll be having scissors at home any time soon.
Miss R was rather shy as we would expect. I think a transition to a new daycare would be hardest on her. She is the teachers pet in her current classroom and I think it will be a bit traumatic even moving classrooms in her own school. However, I believe I thought that last time she moved rooms and was pleasantly surprised at how well she did.
I'm not concerned about baby A. She can sleep in a bouncy seat in pretty much any daycare.
I dropped the kids off at school. They were slow but fairly cooperative. I tried to pay a bit more attention to how things compared to the other daycare we looked at. I have to say that Miss R's class is rather amazing. They tend to have a fairly good number of kids in there and often have 3 teachers in the room. Almost every time I'm there everyone is sitting quietly listening to a story. I'm wondering if they slip a little something in the sippy cups at snack time because it's almost unreal how well behaved all those kids are.
Henry's class was a bit more authentic. One child comes up and shows whoever enters the room the neat underwear he is wearing that day. He also decided to take his shoes off and throw them across the room. Another boy was trying to take something from a little girl. Repeated warning from the teacher eventually convinced him to give it up. A bit more noise, a bit more chaos. Still didn't seem nearly as bad as the other daycare we visited.
Henry went and worked on a puzzle in the middle of the room. I felt a sad feeling that he was either bored or unhappy. I want him to want to go to daycare. He loves to learn things and he is very bright and social. If he is left to his own devices he gets into trouble but when is directed for the most part he is focused and engaged. We are already planning on pushing to get him moved up to an older classroom, which he should be in. We want him to be potty trained so he can skip the room with Attila the Hun Jr which is for those still being potty trained.
I received a message from baby A's lawyers office trying to schedule a visit. It is required by the court that the lawyers visit with their clients at least once between court appearances. So of course the day before they are calling and trying to work out a last second visit so the judge doesn't rap them on the knuckles. Much like CPS it seems they have no concept that people may have other commitments that might require more than 30 minutes notice. They even considered having us bring the baby to court so that the lawyer could see her a few minutes before hand. That's quality time.
The lawyer's assistant did make it out to see us in the evening. The visit was pretty mundane until she asked, "How is your relationship with CPS?" Well, about an hour later Kate finished recounting all the guffaws regarding transport and privacy etc. The assistant said that transport is a problem for many foster families right now. My theory is that they contract the transport to the lowest bidder which happened to be a bunch of high school or elementary school drop outs who have no clue about what they are doing besides green means go and red means stop and yellow means go really fast.
The assistant is going to relay our issues to the lawyer. If the lawyer should feel that the privacy breach regarding baby A's daycare warrants relocating her to another daycare we will do so. However, I think Kate has relented on moving the kids otherwise. When she picked up the kids this afternoon the director finally apologized for the security breach which was part of what we wanted. Now if they would just adjust their policy so that they would not send the daily info sheet with CPS unless explicitly directed to that would be a true victory. Frankly I could do without the sheets all together. Just tell me what they did that day and if they ate well and napped well and when they went potty last and keep the paper. I've got enough paper at home that I don't know what to do with.
The kids ate reasonably well for dinner. Kate took baby A for a walk with the dogs. As per usual she fell asleep on the walk and then woke up as soon as Kate put her in her crib. I played with the kids in their playhouse where we did "Patty Cake" and "Duck Duck Goose". The latter is more like everyone chasing each other around the living room than anything else.
Henry has been up a few times for water. Kate slept in the rocking chair with baby A for a while. Baby A is doing something rather strange when lying down. She is arching her back and turning on her side. It almost looks like she is going to roll over from back to front. However, the arching just looks a bit strange and she's sleeping like that. It only started a day or two ago. I hope it's not anything serious.
In fun news baby A is trying to grab her toes. She gets to her knee regularly and has made some attempts at her toes. I don't know if we have an official grab yet. I'm sure it will be any day now.
I'm blogging to you from my newly configured treadmill desk. I'm walking a whopping 1mph while typing. Hoping it works out and I lose 30lbs while I work. We'll see. It probably doesn't help that I'm also drinking a glass of wine. Let's see you do that with Taibo! At least the treadmill is being used for exercise instead of as a platform for a dead printer, a cat bed and any junk we don't feel like putting in it's proper location.
Tomorrow is court for baby A and a hearing check for Miss R.
We took the kids to see a new daycare we are considering moving them to. Kate and I had visited earlier in the week. It has a lot going for it. Kate was ready to fill out the paper work. I had a very negative reaction to what I saw today. It seemed very crowded last time. This time it was the noise and chaos that got to me. Kate pointed out that if the facilities were bigger, they are a rather small daycare with moderate sized rooms with lots of kids and things in them, then I probably wouldn't notice as much. That is true but they aren't so I did.
Henry made himself at home. He didn't seem to interact with the kids but he played with toys and one of the teachers showed him how to use scissors which is a scary prospect in his hands. Until he learns to treat the cats better I don't think he'll be having scissors at home any time soon.
Miss R was rather shy as we would expect. I think a transition to a new daycare would be hardest on her. She is the teachers pet in her current classroom and I think it will be a bit traumatic even moving classrooms in her own school. However, I believe I thought that last time she moved rooms and was pleasantly surprised at how well she did.
I'm not concerned about baby A. She can sleep in a bouncy seat in pretty much any daycare.
I dropped the kids off at school. They were slow but fairly cooperative. I tried to pay a bit more attention to how things compared to the other daycare we looked at. I have to say that Miss R's class is rather amazing. They tend to have a fairly good number of kids in there and often have 3 teachers in the room. Almost every time I'm there everyone is sitting quietly listening to a story. I'm wondering if they slip a little something in the sippy cups at snack time because it's almost unreal how well behaved all those kids are.
Henry's class was a bit more authentic. One child comes up and shows whoever enters the room the neat underwear he is wearing that day. He also decided to take his shoes off and throw them across the room. Another boy was trying to take something from a little girl. Repeated warning from the teacher eventually convinced him to give it up. A bit more noise, a bit more chaos. Still didn't seem nearly as bad as the other daycare we visited.
Henry went and worked on a puzzle in the middle of the room. I felt a sad feeling that he was either bored or unhappy. I want him to want to go to daycare. He loves to learn things and he is very bright and social. If he is left to his own devices he gets into trouble but when is directed for the most part he is focused and engaged. We are already planning on pushing to get him moved up to an older classroom, which he should be in. We want him to be potty trained so he can skip the room with Attila the Hun Jr which is for those still being potty trained.
I received a message from baby A's lawyers office trying to schedule a visit. It is required by the court that the lawyers visit with their clients at least once between court appearances. So of course the day before they are calling and trying to work out a last second visit so the judge doesn't rap them on the knuckles. Much like CPS it seems they have no concept that people may have other commitments that might require more than 30 minutes notice. They even considered having us bring the baby to court so that the lawyer could see her a few minutes before hand. That's quality time.
The lawyer's assistant did make it out to see us in the evening. The visit was pretty mundane until she asked, "How is your relationship with CPS?" Well, about an hour later Kate finished recounting all the guffaws regarding transport and privacy etc. The assistant said that transport is a problem for many foster families right now. My theory is that they contract the transport to the lowest bidder which happened to be a bunch of high school or elementary school drop outs who have no clue about what they are doing besides green means go and red means stop and yellow means go really fast.
The assistant is going to relay our issues to the lawyer. If the lawyer should feel that the privacy breach regarding baby A's daycare warrants relocating her to another daycare we will do so. However, I think Kate has relented on moving the kids otherwise. When she picked up the kids this afternoon the director finally apologized for the security breach which was part of what we wanted. Now if they would just adjust their policy so that they would not send the daily info sheet with CPS unless explicitly directed to that would be a true victory. Frankly I could do without the sheets all together. Just tell me what they did that day and if they ate well and napped well and when they went potty last and keep the paper. I've got enough paper at home that I don't know what to do with.
The kids ate reasonably well for dinner. Kate took baby A for a walk with the dogs. As per usual she fell asleep on the walk and then woke up as soon as Kate put her in her crib. I played with the kids in their playhouse where we did "Patty Cake" and "Duck Duck Goose". The latter is more like everyone chasing each other around the living room than anything else.
Henry has been up a few times for water. Kate slept in the rocking chair with baby A for a while. Baby A is doing something rather strange when lying down. She is arching her back and turning on her side. It almost looks like she is going to roll over from back to front. However, the arching just looks a bit strange and she's sleeping like that. It only started a day or two ago. I hope it's not anything serious.
In fun news baby A is trying to grab her toes. She gets to her knee regularly and has made some attempts at her toes. I don't know if we have an official grab yet. I'm sure it will be any day now.
I'm blogging to you from my newly configured treadmill desk. I'm walking a whopping 1mph while typing. Hoping it works out and I lose 30lbs while I work. We'll see. It probably doesn't help that I'm also drinking a glass of wine. Let's see you do that with Taibo! At least the treadmill is being used for exercise instead of as a platform for a dead printer, a cat bed and any junk we don't feel like putting in it's proper location.
Tomorrow is court for baby A and a hearing check for Miss R.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Lack of Common Sense
On Wednesday, I had an uneventful morning getting the kids into daycare. It really has struck me how easy Henry has been to get to class the last couple weeks, coinciding with the "promotion" of the kid who attacked him to the next level. It makes me sad, however, to think how Henry had unnecessarily felt threatened for several weeks when the "developmental coordinator" did not follow through on her promise to remove the offender.
Daycare. Jeff finally made contact with the "regional director" who basically parroted the director's statement on how everything is supposed to be sent home at the end of the day, but said it wasn't a policy per se but it was just what they usually did. The regional director tried to get into the particulars of Baby A's case (obviously, she hasn't been affected by their stupidity yet...but we aren't really interested in taking that chance). She couldn't seem to grasp how sending the location of the daycare to the bio parents of foster children would be a problem (but maintained they never give information over the phone) and basically said that it was CPS' problem and that they should have screened everything. In short, another idiot in child care administration. Great. Doesn't anyone in administration in the child care industry have common sense?
I spent the day at my new office, organizing files and cleaning drawers. I met up with Jeff, Henry, and Miss R at the Sunshine Swim Center for the kids' swim lesson. Miss Natalie dunked each child four times in a row. Miss R didn't cry over being dunked (let alone four times!), which is a first. She seems to be turning a corner and doing much better in the water. Henry had to sit out of the pool b/c he wouldn't stay seated on one of the steps while Miss Natalie was working with the other kids. Henry had trouble floating on his back on his own this time. Jeff says that he doesn't like putting his arms out to make it happen.
After their swim lesson, they played in the play room at the swimming place for a little bit. There was an interesting moment when a mother and her daughter walked into the playroom. They were black. Miss R seemed fascinated with them. It isn't as though she hasn't seen people of color aside from her bio family. Our side of town and her daycare are multiracial/multiethnic. But from the way she was looking at them, I was wondering if something had changed in her and she is noticing racial differences. One of my friends from grad school has a son was born in Guatamala. She told me that he picked up on skin differences between him and them by the time he was a young toddler. Interestingly, our kids have never mentioned their differing skin colors before. And, I wonder if we are now entering a new phase of "same" and "different"...at least with Miss R.
When Jeff asked the kids to go to the changing room, Miss R went with him easily. Henry did not, because he wanted to play. Miss R marched back to the play room and commanded "Hurry up, Henry!"
We had Chinese food for dinner. Miss R ate very well. Henry ate some, but it wasn't a stellar showing. I took a walk with Baby A and the dogs. She fell asleep but promptly woke up when I got home. Jeff rushed out to Best Buy, trying to get there before they closed at 9PM. That meant I had to comfort a fussy Baby A while getting The Twins' teeth brushed and ready for bed. They eventually did go to bed, but they were very chatty when I left their room. I could hear them talking and laughing. I let them do that for 10 minutes before reminding them to go to bed. That didn't stop Henry of course. I could hear him whispering "I love you, R."
Early this evening, Jeff seemed set to move the kids to a new daycare. He's cooled down, but now I'm riled up again. I think that the best thing is to make the change. Make a decision. Move on. Our plan is to drop off Baby A tomorrow and take the kids to visit Daisy. We'll see what their reaction is.
Daycare. Jeff finally made contact with the "regional director" who basically parroted the director's statement on how everything is supposed to be sent home at the end of the day, but said it wasn't a policy per se but it was just what they usually did. The regional director tried to get into the particulars of Baby A's case (obviously, she hasn't been affected by their stupidity yet...but we aren't really interested in taking that chance). She couldn't seem to grasp how sending the location of the daycare to the bio parents of foster children would be a problem (but maintained they never give information over the phone) and basically said that it was CPS' problem and that they should have screened everything. In short, another idiot in child care administration. Great. Doesn't anyone in administration in the child care industry have common sense?
I spent the day at my new office, organizing files and cleaning drawers. I met up with Jeff, Henry, and Miss R at the Sunshine Swim Center for the kids' swim lesson. Miss Natalie dunked each child four times in a row. Miss R didn't cry over being dunked (let alone four times!), which is a first. She seems to be turning a corner and doing much better in the water. Henry had to sit out of the pool b/c he wouldn't stay seated on one of the steps while Miss Natalie was working with the other kids. Henry had trouble floating on his back on his own this time. Jeff says that he doesn't like putting his arms out to make it happen.
After their swim lesson, they played in the play room at the swimming place for a little bit. There was an interesting moment when a mother and her daughter walked into the playroom. They were black. Miss R seemed fascinated with them. It isn't as though she hasn't seen people of color aside from her bio family. Our side of town and her daycare are multiracial/multiethnic. But from the way she was looking at them, I was wondering if something had changed in her and she is noticing racial differences. One of my friends from grad school has a son was born in Guatamala. She told me that he picked up on skin differences between him and them by the time he was a young toddler. Interestingly, our kids have never mentioned their differing skin colors before. And, I wonder if we are now entering a new phase of "same" and "different"...at least with Miss R.
When Jeff asked the kids to go to the changing room, Miss R went with him easily. Henry did not, because he wanted to play. Miss R marched back to the play room and commanded "Hurry up, Henry!"
We had Chinese food for dinner. Miss R ate very well. Henry ate some, but it wasn't a stellar showing. I took a walk with Baby A and the dogs. She fell asleep but promptly woke up when I got home. Jeff rushed out to Best Buy, trying to get there before they closed at 9PM. That meant I had to comfort a fussy Baby A while getting The Twins' teeth brushed and ready for bed. They eventually did go to bed, but they were very chatty when I left their room. I could hear them talking and laughing. I let them do that for 10 minutes before reminding them to go to bed. That didn't stop Henry of course. I could hear him whispering "I love you, R."
Early this evening, Jeff seemed set to move the kids to a new daycare. He's cooled down, but now I'm riled up again. I think that the best thing is to make the change. Make a decision. Move on. Our plan is to drop off Baby A tomorrow and take the kids to visit Daisy. We'll see what their reaction is.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
More Lunacy
A week ago, I contacted CPS to see if Miss R had a visit with her siblings scheduled. I was told no, there were no visits scheduled. Did I want to schedule one for next month? I said yes. The next visitation scheduled for July 6.
Fast forward to this afternoon. My parents were going to pick up the toddlers and take them to Barnes & Noble. My parents went to pick them up, but there was no Miss R. She'd been picked up by CPS' driving service. WTH?!?!? By the time I got back with Baby A, it was 5:20PM. I went to my home office to get CPS' contact information. By the time I was about to contact them, the driving service had pulled up with Miss R. I'm at a loss over how an organization can be so dysfunctional. Argh.
I had picked up Baby A after my massage. Miss Jennifer, Baby A's afternoon teacher, was very apologetic over what happened yesterday. Apparently, the front desk staff ordered her to send everything along on the visit, which she hadn't planned to do b/c the morning teacher Miss Stephanie had told her that we didn't want any of Baby A's belongings, bottles, or daily sheet sent on the visits. In any event, she apologized. I felt bad that she felt bad when it was really the front desk personnel's fault.
Jeff left a message with Children Learning Adventure's corporate office this afternoon. The regional director hasn't called him back. I think that our decision to move the kids is going to depend in part how the regional director responds.
When Miss R came home, she wanted to watch Mamma Mia!. She knows parts of the lyrics to several songs. She is so cute when she sings Money, Money, Money or Honey, Honey.
My parents dropped off Henry around 7:30PM. They had bought him a Toy Story book with CD. After they left, I took Baby A on a dog walk. Henry, Miss R, and Jeff stayed home and listened to the CD of the Toy Story book three times.
Miss R was cute feeding her baby doll Eve a bottle as I fed Baby A a bottle. She did, however, get into trouble with Daddy when she refused to brush her teeth. Henry didn't want to go to bed, but that's not exactly new.
We are hoping that tomorrow is a CPS-free day. Crossing our fingers that they don't mysteriously abscond with one of our children.
Fast forward to this afternoon. My parents were going to pick up the toddlers and take them to Barnes & Noble. My parents went to pick them up, but there was no Miss R. She'd been picked up by CPS' driving service. WTH?!?!? By the time I got back with Baby A, it was 5:20PM. I went to my home office to get CPS' contact information. By the time I was about to contact them, the driving service had pulled up with Miss R. I'm at a loss over how an organization can be so dysfunctional. Argh.
I had picked up Baby A after my massage. Miss Jennifer, Baby A's afternoon teacher, was very apologetic over what happened yesterday. Apparently, the front desk staff ordered her to send everything along on the visit, which she hadn't planned to do b/c the morning teacher Miss Stephanie had told her that we didn't want any of Baby A's belongings, bottles, or daily sheet sent on the visits. In any event, she apologized. I felt bad that she felt bad when it was really the front desk personnel's fault.
Jeff left a message with Children Learning Adventure's corporate office this afternoon. The regional director hasn't called him back. I think that our decision to move the kids is going to depend in part how the regional director responds.
When Miss R came home, she wanted to watch Mamma Mia!. She knows parts of the lyrics to several songs. She is so cute when she sings Money, Money, Money or Honey, Honey.
My parents dropped off Henry around 7:30PM. They had bought him a Toy Story book with CD. After they left, I took Baby A on a dog walk. Henry, Miss R, and Jeff stayed home and listened to the CD of the Toy Story book three times.
Miss R was cute feeding her baby doll Eve a bottle as I fed Baby A a bottle. She did, however, get into trouble with Daddy when she refused to brush her teeth. Henry didn't want to go to bed, but that's not exactly new.
We are hoping that tomorrow is a CPS-free day. Crossing our fingers that they don't mysteriously abscond with one of our children.
The Apathetic Director
On Tuesday morning, I woke up at 3:30AM to fed Baby A. She'd had a bottle a couple hours earlier (Jeff gave it to her). Guess she isn't ready to sleep through the night. I fell asleep with her in my arms up on my shoulder. I put her back in her crib around 5:35AM. She then got up again around 6AM (Jeff took care of her). When I woke up around 7:15AM, I found Jeff holding Baby A on one side and Henry looking lovingly at Baby A on the other. The three of them were very cute together.
Miss R was a snoozy bear and didn't get up until after 8AM...with some prodding from Jeff. After breakfast, the toddlers took a shower. Miss R is doing much better getting her hair wet willingly, so that was great.
Jeff went with me to the daycare. The dropoff with the kids was fine. One of the teachers from Baby A's room said something about the CPS driver taking the wrong car seat (which is admittedly idiotic). But I pointed out that it was disturbing that the front desk personnel were so disorganized that they let people walk off with other people's property.
We met with the director. Jeff told her our concerns. She was not apologetic. She said, "We didn't know." I said, "You are never supposed to reveal private information to anyone but the foster parents." She just said, "Our policy is to send reports home." Idiot. She said that they never give private information over the phone. But the [fill-in-the-blanks] are willing to send along private information on CPS visits. Jeff is going to call their corporate office. He thinks that the director is just kind of clueless. It took us several weeks to figure out that she was the new director when the old one left. She conveys no sense of leadership, that's for sure.
At this point, even if CPS says that bio mom probably isn't a safety issue, I'm so irked at the daycare's lack of organization and unwillingness to accept responsiblity (how about an apology?) that we very well may find other accommodations.
We began our search today by stopping by one of the places that we had visited in our initial daycare search. The advantage of this particular daycare is that they are a feeder daycare into one of the top charter schools in the state. There are a couple disadvantages: (a) the facility isn't quite as nice as Children's Learning Adventure, and (b) Miss R really likes her teacher Miss Diana. One of the reasons why we discounted the daycare last year was because the play yard was...sad. It was basically an open yard of dirt with a couple plastic slides. We were very pleased to find that since last year, they have made vast improvements with the yard. The yard is now covered with grass. They have planted several trees around the yard (a lot of citrus). And, they have a garden that currently contains many sunflowers.
There is only one class per level. Consequently, Henry and Miss R would be in the same class most of the time. This was a particular concern when it was unclear what was going to happen with Miss R. Had she left us, we thought it would have been especially devasting for Henry if he had spent all of his time with her at school and home. Now that she will be with us forever, that concern doesn't exist. I confess that in a more ideal setting, we'd still like them to be in separate classes so that they have the opportunity to develop their own identities independent of each other.
The curriculum. At CLA, they do a good job pretending like they spend a lot of time doing "curriculum development" and their promotional material claims that their curriculm utilizes research on brain development (blah, blah, blah). Given who they have currently in charge of "curriculum development" at the moment (the one who lies and can think her way out of a wet paper sack), I pretty much think that their whole "brain development" based on research is probably a load of horse poop. I suspect that the "curriculum" is no better or worse than your average daycare. They claim to teach Spanish and sign language. We have yet to hear or see either out of our kids, except that Henry definitely knows how to count in Spanish (probably has to do with his time in Miss Diana and Miss Lulu's class, who are both native Spanish speakers).
At Daisy (the new daycare we are considering), counting to 20 is on their list of things expected out of kids in the 2-3 year old room before they move to the 3 year old room. I don't think that we've ever gone past 10 with the kids, so that would be new. And Henry would have to be completely potty trained before moving to the 3 year old room. The other things on the list were things like colors and shapes, which Henry definitely knows, and Miss R somewhat knows. In addition to Spanish and sign language, Daisy also teaches the kids Turkish. Why Turkish? Because the director of the charter school and daycare is from Turkey. The local paper did a piece on the charter school a couple months ago and basically implied that the director is using the school (and others like it) as a funnel for bringing Turkish citizens into the country. I haven't researched the situation enough to take a position on it, but in terms of educational standards, it does seem like the school so far as done well in teaching math and science in the K-12 school (winning awards and whatnot). I believe that all students in the K-12 are required to take a couple years of Turkish and/or Turkish culture. Going to Daisy would secure a spot at the K-12.
We probably won't make a decision today, but we'll be thinking long and hard over the next couple days. I'm still mad, mad, mad. I've been unhappy since being lied to by the "development coordinator" when she promised that the child who attacked Henry several weeks ago would be moved and then she didn't do it for nearly two months (see April 15 post entitled "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!"). During April and May, Henry did not want to go to school. And funny thing, since they switched the "older kids" (minus Henry) to the older classrooms, Henry hasn't complained about going to school. Sure, the boys in the class sometimes hit each other (some more than others), but he doesn't have to worry about being "attacked."
Alright. I have litter pans to wash today and papers to organize. In happy news, I have a massage scheduled for 3PM and it is very much needed!
Miss R was a snoozy bear and didn't get up until after 8AM...with some prodding from Jeff. After breakfast, the toddlers took a shower. Miss R is doing much better getting her hair wet willingly, so that was great.
Jeff went with me to the daycare. The dropoff with the kids was fine. One of the teachers from Baby A's room said something about the CPS driver taking the wrong car seat (which is admittedly idiotic). But I pointed out that it was disturbing that the front desk personnel were so disorganized that they let people walk off with other people's property.
We met with the director. Jeff told her our concerns. She was not apologetic. She said, "We didn't know." I said, "You are never supposed to reveal private information to anyone but the foster parents." She just said, "Our policy is to send reports home." Idiot. She said that they never give private information over the phone. But the [fill-in-the-blanks] are willing to send along private information on CPS visits. Jeff is going to call their corporate office. He thinks that the director is just kind of clueless. It took us several weeks to figure out that she was the new director when the old one left. She conveys no sense of leadership, that's for sure.
At this point, even if CPS says that bio mom probably isn't a safety issue, I'm so irked at the daycare's lack of organization and unwillingness to accept responsiblity (how about an apology?) that we very well may find other accommodations.
We began our search today by stopping by one of the places that we had visited in our initial daycare search. The advantage of this particular daycare is that they are a feeder daycare into one of the top charter schools in the state. There are a couple disadvantages: (a) the facility isn't quite as nice as Children's Learning Adventure, and (b) Miss R really likes her teacher Miss Diana. One of the reasons why we discounted the daycare last year was because the play yard was...sad. It was basically an open yard of dirt with a couple plastic slides. We were very pleased to find that since last year, they have made vast improvements with the yard. The yard is now covered with grass. They have planted several trees around the yard (a lot of citrus). And, they have a garden that currently contains many sunflowers.
There is only one class per level. Consequently, Henry and Miss R would be in the same class most of the time. This was a particular concern when it was unclear what was going to happen with Miss R. Had she left us, we thought it would have been especially devasting for Henry if he had spent all of his time with her at school and home. Now that she will be with us forever, that concern doesn't exist. I confess that in a more ideal setting, we'd still like them to be in separate classes so that they have the opportunity to develop their own identities independent of each other.
The curriculum. At CLA, they do a good job pretending like they spend a lot of time doing "curriculum development" and their promotional material claims that their curriculm utilizes research on brain development (blah, blah, blah). Given who they have currently in charge of "curriculum development" at the moment (the one who lies and can think her way out of a wet paper sack), I pretty much think that their whole "brain development" based on research is probably a load of horse poop. I suspect that the "curriculum" is no better or worse than your average daycare. They claim to teach Spanish and sign language. We have yet to hear or see either out of our kids, except that Henry definitely knows how to count in Spanish (probably has to do with his time in Miss Diana and Miss Lulu's class, who are both native Spanish speakers).
At Daisy (the new daycare we are considering), counting to 20 is on their list of things expected out of kids in the 2-3 year old room before they move to the 3 year old room. I don't think that we've ever gone past 10 with the kids, so that would be new. And Henry would have to be completely potty trained before moving to the 3 year old room. The other things on the list were things like colors and shapes, which Henry definitely knows, and Miss R somewhat knows. In addition to Spanish and sign language, Daisy also teaches the kids Turkish. Why Turkish? Because the director of the charter school and daycare is from Turkey. The local paper did a piece on the charter school a couple months ago and basically implied that the director is using the school (and others like it) as a funnel for bringing Turkish citizens into the country. I haven't researched the situation enough to take a position on it, but in terms of educational standards, it does seem like the school so far as done well in teaching math and science in the K-12 school (winning awards and whatnot). I believe that all students in the K-12 are required to take a couple years of Turkish and/or Turkish culture. Going to Daisy would secure a spot at the K-12.
We probably won't make a decision today, but we'll be thinking long and hard over the next couple days. I'm still mad, mad, mad. I've been unhappy since being lied to by the "development coordinator" when she promised that the child who attacked Henry several weeks ago would be moved and then she didn't do it for nearly two months (see April 15 post entitled "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!"). During April and May, Henry did not want to go to school. And funny thing, since they switched the "older kids" (minus Henry) to the older classrooms, Henry hasn't complained about going to school. Sure, the boys in the class sometimes hit each other (some more than others), but he doesn't have to worry about being "attacked."
Alright. I have litter pans to wash today and papers to organize. In happy news, I have a massage scheduled for 3PM and it is very much needed!
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