Ocks!

Yesterday went fine with the nanny. Jeff went into the kitchen at the end of breakfast. The trays were off the high chairs, and Henry and Karina were leaning over in their chairs and trying to touch finger tips.

In the afternoon, Henry and I went outside to check out the road work (which started on Wednesday). It looks good. Lots of rocks have been pulled to the side of the road. It was the first time that I let Henry wander around the property on his own...closely monitored of course. Jeff came out and joined us. Henry saw me pull some rocks from the middle of the road and toss them to the side. He decided to help and had great fun pulling up dirty rocks and throwing them around. As he did so, he yelled "Ocks! Ocks!" We walked up the road. Henry continued to play with rocks. We ran into our neighbor Tim. He's pleased with the improved road as well. Henry handed him some rocks. We also ran into the two fellows doing the road work, but Henry got a little shy and grabbed onto Jeff's leg rather than shaking hands. As we walked back to our place, Henry found a stick and used it to make lines in the dirt. We tried to teach him to say "stick" but unfortunately the "st" was replaced with a "d." What can I say, we're working on it.

Henry was mad that he had to go back inside to get ready. He wanted to play in the dirt. We eventually made our way to the grandparents' house. Henry fell asleep in the car. Apparently, he didn't nap there long. He had a very active evening with Grandma and Grandpa. Jeff and I went to the first UA basketball game of the season against Incarnate Word with Jamie and Steve. Grandma reported, when we returned, that Henry is a bit unruly. When he is told "no," he smiles and does whatever he wants to do. The biggest no-no is that he keeps trying to climb onto the glass coffee table.

Grandma had asked last weekend about discipline. We aren't going to spank him. I'm hardly a hippy, liberal professor type who doesn't believe in the use of force under any circumstance (in personal life as well as public policy, although I do wear Birkenstocks). But it does seem to me that force should only be used with clear, reasonable, and realistic expectations about the results. The bottomline is that spanking Henry would be foolhardly for two reasons. First, the boy has a high pain threshold as I have mentioned before. It would take an immense amount of force to get a reaction (can we say CPS). Second, modeling. If we spanked Henry, we'd be teaching him that hitting is OK. That's a problem where the safety of other children is concerned. Henry is a very strong child. He picked up some rocks yesterday that were heavy, really heavy. Jeff and I had to make sure he didn't drop them on his foot. We continued to be surprised at just how strong he is. He moves large, heavy chairs across the kitchen without a problem. Anyway, a strong child needs to learn how to use that strength properly. Teaching him that hitting is an appropriate way to bring about a desired response is NOT the lesson that we want to teach him...for his safety and the safety of others. In sum, no spanking. Period.

We plan to start doing "time outs." Our time out location is going to be the play pen, because we never actually use it for him to play in. The living room is his play yard. We don't want to use the crib because we don't want the crib to be associated with punishment. Although the boy can be head strong, he really don't act up much. The three things that he continuously does, and is told "no" for, are: (1) standing up in the bath tub, (2) trying to sneak into my office to look at "pics" on the computer, and (3) climbing on the glass coffee table at the grandparents. Having witnessed the behavior of other children his age, we feel incredibly fortunate that Henry doesn't have daily tantrums and has a loving, sweet disposition. That doesn't mean he is a push over. He is independent and occasionally likes to push the boundardies to see what we'll do. So "time outs" it is.