We took Henry to Grandpa and Grammy's house on Monday. He now calls Grammy "Gaebbie" (like Gabby with a long A vowel sound).
Jeff and I had our sixth training session for foster/adoption. It was a good class. We discussed all of the paperwork that we will have to fill out once we get a placement. We also discussed Individual Education Plans (IEPs) for when the children go to school if they have special needs. We learned that our school district, the infamous TUSD, has a reputation for trying to cut a buck here and there by denying special needs children the resources they need (and to which they have a right under the law). Great.
When we returned to the grandparents' house, Gaebbie asked Henry to show us his new skill...saying A-B-C! And then expecting lots of applause of course.
Henry feel sound asleep in the car. This morning, he was really hard to wake up. He didn't even open his eyes when we rubbed his back or called his name. Jeff ended up changing his diaper in bed. That finally did wake him up...and he wasn't happy either.
I just saw Henry in the kitchen (9:40AM). He gave me a hug and then spread out on the floor, like he was going to take a nap. We suspect that he is having a growth spurt again. Probably needs more sleep. We'll try to get him to bed early tonight.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Applesauce Shampoo and Facial
On Friday, Jeff and Henry played in the afternoon, while I had my conference call. We had our evening walk. One of Henry's big things this past week was rolling the cat food bin from the pantry into the living room and sending it down the slide (with Jeff's help). I'm thrilled at this new development. If that doesn't have disaster written all over it, I don't know what does.
On Saturday, we went to Tohono Chul Park for breakfast. Ran into Nancy from my work. It was fun showing Henry off. She sees a bit of Grandpa in him from the side. After breakfast, we dropped Henry off at Grandma and Grandpa's house for a couple hours while Jeff and I ran errands. We had to purchase some things for the house to bring everything up to code for our home inspection from the state. Alison is going to do another run through the house on Tuesday just to make sure that we are making progress, and she'll be interviewing Jeff as well. Henry was asleep when we returned to the grandparents' house around 2:30PM. Grandma and Grandpa were headed off to a UA b-ball game. After Henry woke up, we returned home. Went for a walk with the dogs. Ran into Hal. Swanee had told him of our foster-adopt plans. He was supportive. I made dinner. Henry wasn't terribly hungry, and he was very tired.
On Sunday, Jeff and Henry let me sleep in while they walked the dogs and ate breakfast. Henry made a huge mess of lunch and didn't eat much. He used his applesauce to give himself a shampoo and facial. Jeff reminded me that Cuyler once said that messy eaters tend to have less oral aversions and are good eaters in the long run. If that's true, we should have no worries about Henry! I ended up giving him a shower. He didn't like having his head under the shower head. Later in the afternoon, he visited Grandma and Grandpa. He spent his time spreading the leaf piles that Grandma had swept up. I stayed home and went through old receipts. Trying to put some order into our filing chaos. Jeff went over to my parents' house for dinner. Henry came back home sound asleep.
On Saturday, we went to Tohono Chul Park for breakfast. Ran into Nancy from my work. It was fun showing Henry off. She sees a bit of Grandpa in him from the side. After breakfast, we dropped Henry off at Grandma and Grandpa's house for a couple hours while Jeff and I ran errands. We had to purchase some things for the house to bring everything up to code for our home inspection from the state. Alison is going to do another run through the house on Tuesday just to make sure that we are making progress, and she'll be interviewing Jeff as well. Henry was asleep when we returned to the grandparents' house around 2:30PM. Grandma and Grandpa were headed off to a UA b-ball game. After Henry woke up, we returned home. Went for a walk with the dogs. Ran into Hal. Swanee had told him of our foster-adopt plans. He was supportive. I made dinner. Henry wasn't terribly hungry, and he was very tired.
On Sunday, Jeff and Henry let me sleep in while they walked the dogs and ate breakfast. Henry made a huge mess of lunch and didn't eat much. He used his applesauce to give himself a shampoo and facial. Jeff reminded me that Cuyler once said that messy eaters tend to have less oral aversions and are good eaters in the long run. If that's true, we should have no worries about Henry! I ended up giving him a shower. He didn't like having his head under the shower head. Later in the afternoon, he visited Grandma and Grandpa. He spent his time spreading the leaf piles that Grandma had swept up. I stayed home and went through old receipts. Trying to put some order into our filing chaos. Jeff went over to my parents' house for dinner. Henry came back home sound asleep.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Correcting His Mommy
Alicia had to leave a little early today. So I spent some of the afternoon with Henry. His latest interest is sitting in his playpen that's filled with toys. In fact, we really haven't used it as a playpen since last spring. Since that time, it has been used as a open toy chest. Anyway, he has been requesting us to put him in it, which is a bit of a task, making sure that toys don't topple over on him.
He let me clip his toe nails today without a struggle. Previously, we had to wait until he was asleep and completely passed out to work on his nails. I did have to bribe him with a youtube.com video to get him distracted, but he knew what I was doing. Feels like he is becoming more mature every day.I forgot to mention on our last post that yesterday, Henry played a hiding came with Dada. Henry would hide a toy mouse and they'd go and look for it. We learned this week that he knows how to say "mouse" and "mice."
It was very rainy today. We went on a muddy dog walk before it turned completely dark. Henry was placed in the backpack and we marched off. He loves calling out for Roger and Marley when they wander too far. Roger was hyper this evening, which is not like him. He acted like someone had given him a bagful of chocolate covered espresso beans or something. Henry called out Roger's name very clearly. Excellent enunciation.
Before dinner, Henry managed to get into our computer area off the kitchen. This is where Jeff's building our super computer (lots of storage for Henry pictures and video). Henry turned on the super computer. Got into the chair and then turned on the monitor by himself. But he hasn't master the keyboard functions yet...that's next week's task.
Henry had a big dinner. After dinner, I asked Henry to give Marley and Roger treats. This is sometimes challenging b/c he wants to give the treat to any animal other than the one whom I've specified. If I give him a beef stick and say "Would you please give this Roger?" He'll try to give it to Bitsy. Anyway, tonight I gave him some nice smelling biscuits from Trader Joes. The kind of smell like less sugary cookies. He gave the first one to Roger, like I told him to. The second one, he was supposed to give it to Marley but wandered off in another direction. I told him to come back. When I caught up with him, he'd taken a chomp of the biscuit. I told him to spit it out but he swallowed it. Ugh!
And then we played. Jeff read aloud from "Order of the Phoenix" as Henry and I played golf and stuff. At one point, Henry was in the ball pit. I'm convinced that asking him about the color of the balls is the best way to learn colors. I asked him, "Henry, could you get me a green ball?" Henry looked at me and said, "Please?" I was a bit stunned at being corrected by a 17 month old on basic etiquette. At some point, I asked him about another ball and was corrected a second time. OK, so I'm now feeling kind of sheepish. My child was right. I had in fact not used the magic word when making a request. Clearly, he has better manners than I do. I'm going to have to watch myself in the future. To my credit, I don't eat dog biscuits.
Henry took a bath. We had our computer time. He's in bed with Jeff now.
Foster/Adoption Training -- Day 5 & A Home Inspection
On Tuesday afternoon, Alison, our family specialist, inspected the house and interviewed me for about two hours. Alicia went home after Henry's nap. Basically, I gave my family history and work history. I had to describe my parents and sisters in three adjectives each. It was hard to narrow it down to three.
Dad: well-read, loyal, caring
Mom: well-read, efficient, caring
Carolyn: hardworking, sensitive/intuitive, caring or smart* (can't remember which but at some point, I said that all of them could be classified as smart)
Erin: smart, active, funny
For Jeff, she just asked me to characterize him:
* a good person through and through
* hardworking/smart
* a lot of fun to be around
* the best father on the planet
The interview went a little bit slower than I anticipated b/c Henry didn't stay down from his nap as long as usual. Guess he was too revved up from Obama's speech or something. He ran around while I watched him and tried to answer Alison's questions. Alison asked about how we had learned to parent. I said that a lot of it probably comes from how we were raised. But that I also read a lot. I told her that when you bring home a medically fragile child, you don't have a large margin of error for screw ups like you do with a full-term child. You have to get it right the first time around. For example, oxygen. When a child is on oxygen, it has to work. Failure is not an option.
Alison is returning next Tuesday for her interview with Jeff and another home inspection. We need grips on the bathtub bottoms and two medical lock boxes. Plus, we need to put some magnet locks on the cabinets. The plastic ones won't do for the state inspection.
On Tuesday evening, Henry wanted what was in my mug. He pointed to it and said "coffee." It was actually hot tea (decaf Earl Grey with milk). I've made coffee a handful of times since he was born. Grandma and Grandpa must drink it around him (although they usually drink it in the morning and when he visits, he usually goes in the afternoon). I don't know where he picks up these things.
On Wednesday, we dropped him off at Grandma and Grandpa's house. In the car, I learned that Henry knows where his knees are. We've got a good number of body parts down pat.
Jeff and I had our training. We had to fill out a "strengths/needs" sheet. There are 12 attributes needed in foster parents. We had to look at the 12, and identify two that were our strengths and two that we may need to work on and why.
Strengths: (1) Know your own family and (2) Build self-esteem.
Why?
(1) We know Henry by paying attention to his non-verbal and verbal cues.
(2) We build Henry's self-esteem through lots of cheering and clapping when he accomplishes something.
Needs: (1) Partnering, and (2) Becoming loss and attachment experts.
Why?
(1) Jeff and I work well as partners together, but partnering as a foster parents sometimes means working with the child's biological parents, especially if there is a case plan with the goal of the child reunifying with the parents. This may be difficult for us if the parents were abusing the child. I'll try to keep an open mind, but there are some crimes for which I do not think parents should get second chances (e.g., sexual abuse).
(2) Neither Jeff nor I have experienced loss or attachment the way in which many foster children have. I'm not claiming that we've had the perfect lives or anything. But many of the losses that we have experienced were part of the natural life cycle (e.g., grand parents who lived long lives). I remember well when my sister Meagan was born too early and died in 1982. Almost losing Henry or coming uncomfortable close to the line a few times was...hard. We have lost a couple friends in the past couple years, which was unexpected and tragic, and they were young; in my heart I don't think that it was their time to go. But at least we always had familiar support during those times. That's a lot different than a foster child who is thrust into unfamiliar territory and trying to cope with loss. So we categorized "loss and attachment expert" as one of our "needs."
Tonight's session was run by Barbara, a foster mom/trainer. She's fostered many babies and adopted her son through foster care. It was a productive session tonight. Efficient too. One of the other couples mentioned to Barbara how great this session was. We got out early but actually accomplished more than any of the other nights. Snaps to Barbara!
Incidentally, the numbers of our class our dwindling. It used to be packed around the tables. Now, we each have our own space w/o problem. Since a week ago Monday, we are down four couples. Down even more from the first night. I counted about twenty people around the table tonight.
Grandma looked tired when we arrived. Henry knows the word "seat" (which apparently Jeff already knew he knew). Over the last week or so, he's been able to get on his bouncy horse by himself. He gave me a demonstration. And he showed me how he can not only play the piano but hang off the keys and lift his feet from the ground. Henry and I watched the Gummy Bear video on youtube.com in French as Dada had some dessert and watched the UA lose to ASU in b-ball. Then, we headed home. Henry fell asleep in the car. A benefit of him falling asleep is that I get to kiss him on the head w/o protest. These days, he is using the word "No" a lot when I ask him if I can kiss him.
Dad: well-read, loyal, caring
Mom: well-read, efficient, caring
Carolyn: hardworking, sensitive/intuitive, caring or smart* (can't remember which but at some point, I said that all of them could be classified as smart)
Erin: smart, active, funny
For Jeff, she just asked me to characterize him:
* a good person through and through
* hardworking/smart
* a lot of fun to be around
* the best father on the planet
The interview went a little bit slower than I anticipated b/c Henry didn't stay down from his nap as long as usual. Guess he was too revved up from Obama's speech or something. He ran around while I watched him and tried to answer Alison's questions. Alison asked about how we had learned to parent. I said that a lot of it probably comes from how we were raised. But that I also read a lot. I told her that when you bring home a medically fragile child, you don't have a large margin of error for screw ups like you do with a full-term child. You have to get it right the first time around. For example, oxygen. When a child is on oxygen, it has to work. Failure is not an option.
Alison is returning next Tuesday for her interview with Jeff and another home inspection. We need grips on the bathtub bottoms and two medical lock boxes. Plus, we need to put some magnet locks on the cabinets. The plastic ones won't do for the state inspection.
On Tuesday evening, Henry wanted what was in my mug. He pointed to it and said "coffee." It was actually hot tea (decaf Earl Grey with milk). I've made coffee a handful of times since he was born. Grandma and Grandpa must drink it around him (although they usually drink it in the morning and when he visits, he usually goes in the afternoon). I don't know where he picks up these things.
On Wednesday, we dropped him off at Grandma and Grandpa's house. In the car, I learned that Henry knows where his knees are. We've got a good number of body parts down pat.
Jeff and I had our training. We had to fill out a "strengths/needs" sheet. There are 12 attributes needed in foster parents. We had to look at the 12, and identify two that were our strengths and two that we may need to work on and why.
Strengths: (1) Know your own family and (2) Build self-esteem.
Why?
(1) We know Henry by paying attention to his non-verbal and verbal cues.
(2) We build Henry's self-esteem through lots of cheering and clapping when he accomplishes something.
Needs: (1) Partnering, and (2) Becoming loss and attachment experts.
Why?
(1) Jeff and I work well as partners together, but partnering as a foster parents sometimes means working with the child's biological parents, especially if there is a case plan with the goal of the child reunifying with the parents. This may be difficult for us if the parents were abusing the child. I'll try to keep an open mind, but there are some crimes for which I do not think parents should get second chances (e.g., sexual abuse).
(2) Neither Jeff nor I have experienced loss or attachment the way in which many foster children have. I'm not claiming that we've had the perfect lives or anything. But many of the losses that we have experienced were part of the natural life cycle (e.g., grand parents who lived long lives). I remember well when my sister Meagan was born too early and died in 1982. Almost losing Henry or coming uncomfortable close to the line a few times was...hard. We have lost a couple friends in the past couple years, which was unexpected and tragic, and they were young; in my heart I don't think that it was their time to go. But at least we always had familiar support during those times. That's a lot different than a foster child who is thrust into unfamiliar territory and trying to cope with loss. So we categorized "loss and attachment expert" as one of our "needs."
Tonight's session was run by Barbara, a foster mom/trainer. She's fostered many babies and adopted her son through foster care. It was a productive session tonight. Efficient too. One of the other couples mentioned to Barbara how great this session was. We got out early but actually accomplished more than any of the other nights. Snaps to Barbara!
Incidentally, the numbers of our class our dwindling. It used to be packed around the tables. Now, we each have our own space w/o problem. Since a week ago Monday, we are down four couples. Down even more from the first night. I counted about twenty people around the table tonight.
Grandma looked tired when we arrived. Henry knows the word "seat" (which apparently Jeff already knew he knew). Over the last week or so, he's been able to get on his bouncy horse by himself. He gave me a demonstration. And he showed me how he can not only play the piano but hang off the keys and lift his feet from the ground. Henry and I watched the Gummy Bear video on youtube.com in French as Dada had some dessert and watched the UA lose to ASU in b-ball. Then, we headed home. Henry fell asleep in the car. A benefit of him falling asleep is that I get to kiss him on the head w/o protest. These days, he is using the word "No" a lot when I ask him if I can kiss him.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
"Obama" is the Word of the Day
Yesterday, Henry went over to the grandparents' in the afternoon. Jeff and I did paperwork and then some more paperwork. Henry was fast asleep when he came home.
Today is Inauguration Day. Alicia noted that our children will never know a time when there wasn't a black president in our nation's history. We watched Obama's inaugural address, which I thought was a fine speech. Henry watched the speech as well.
The word of the day is "Obama."
Today is Inauguration Day. Alicia noted that our children will never know a time when there wasn't a black president in our nation's history. We watched Obama's inaugural address, which I thought was a fine speech. Henry watched the speech as well.
The word of the day is "Obama."
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Diving into the Ball Pit
Today was a pretty easy going day. We had breakfast at home in the morning. Played around the living room. Henry's latest trick is getting into the ball pit himself by leaning over the side and falling into it. He seems to enjoy the dive. Not exactly the most graceful maneuver. But whatever works.
Henry took a nap. While he did so, Jeff took down some Christmas decorations. And I filled out paper work. Lots of paperwork for the foster care/adoption. Who lived in my house as a child at various intervals of age? How did my family express themselves when they were angry, sad, stressed, frustrated, happy, etc.? Do I feel education is important to child development? How would I describe my husband? How did we meet? What do I like best about him, and what do I wish I could change? What would he say about me? Why do we want to do foster care/adoption? What will be most difficult about having a foster child in our home? Etc.
We also had "road work" (i.e., homework for class). One bit of homework involved reading a hellacious story about a 14 year old who had been sexually abused by an uncle for several years and by a grand father who abused her as an infant, physically abused by her father who thought that she enticed the uncle, and then was given drugs and alcohol to use by her mother. One of the questions to ponder is: What steps does this family need to take in order to be reunited? My feelings are: Are you fill-in-the-blank kidding me? Reunited? Her family is poison. Poor child. All four of the adults should be thrown in jail indefinitely. I suspect at this might not be the answer that the agency wants to hear.
We then headed to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the Eagles-Cardinals game. While my parents and Jeff watched the game, I took Henry outside. Henry guided me through my parents' side yard, out a gate, around to the front of the house, and to the mail box. He pointed at the mail box and said "mail." Must be something he does with Grammy b/c Jeff and I never take him to our mailbox. He was a bit disappointed that there was not mail in the box, but we looked several times nonetheless.
We came home. Henry had another nap. Jeff took the dogs for a walk because it was dusk. Henry woke up about 5 minutes after Jeff left and called out for "Daddy!" I got his jacket and shoes on him. We then started the trek to find Dada. We stopped by the horse corral. Dakota visited us. I was a bit hesitant about Dakota b/c our last encounter about two nights previous ended with him turning his back on us and lifting up his tail and dropping a load. I suspect he was annoyed that we just wanted to pet him and didn't bring any food offerings with us. Since that encounter, Henry has mentioned poop several times in the context of talking about horses. Dakota was fine. He spent a good deal of time smelling me. Henry pet him on the head. We left on a good note, I think.
We ran into Jeff, Hal, and Swanee on their way back from the walk. Annie came barreling over to greet us. Luke gave Henry a kiss. Luke is the Ridgeback pictured above. He is a big fellow.
When we came home, Henry played with Bitsy and tried to give her a hug. Not the best idea b/c Bitsy's idea of loving interactions are...unique...and usually involve drawing blood (at least with me). I have no doubt that she thinks that she is being loving. Anyway, she didn't scratch Henry. I guess that they have some sort of special communication going on.
Had a nice dinner. Managed to sneak some asparagus into Henry without much protest.
After dinner, it was play time again. I read some more from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." It has taking us a lot longer to get through these books ever since Henry started walking.
Henry had a bath. Before the bath, he ran around in his diaper trying to climb into his crib. Apparently, he knows the word "crib" as well. We had our computer time. And then it was time for bed. He and Jeff are passed out in the rocking chair at the moment. That's all for now.
Henry took a nap. While he did so, Jeff took down some Christmas decorations. And I filled out paper work. Lots of paperwork for the foster care/adoption. Who lived in my house as a child at various intervals of age? How did my family express themselves when they were angry, sad, stressed, frustrated, happy, etc.? Do I feel education is important to child development? How would I describe my husband? How did we meet? What do I like best about him, and what do I wish I could change? What would he say about me? Why do we want to do foster care/adoption? What will be most difficult about having a foster child in our home? Etc.
We also had "road work" (i.e., homework for class). One bit of homework involved reading a hellacious story about a 14 year old who had been sexually abused by an uncle for several years and by a grand father who abused her as an infant, physically abused by her father who thought that she enticed the uncle, and then was given drugs and alcohol to use by her mother. One of the questions to ponder is: What steps does this family need to take in order to be reunited? My feelings are: Are you fill-in-the-blank kidding me? Reunited? Her family is poison. Poor child. All four of the adults should be thrown in jail indefinitely. I suspect at this might not be the answer that the agency wants to hear.
We then headed to Grandma and Grandpa's house for the Eagles-Cardinals game. While my parents and Jeff watched the game, I took Henry outside. Henry guided me through my parents' side yard, out a gate, around to the front of the house, and to the mail box. He pointed at the mail box and said "mail." Must be something he does with Grammy b/c Jeff and I never take him to our mailbox. He was a bit disappointed that there was not mail in the box, but we looked several times nonetheless.
We came home. Henry had another nap. Jeff took the dogs for a walk because it was dusk. Henry woke up about 5 minutes after Jeff left and called out for "Daddy!" I got his jacket and shoes on him. We then started the trek to find Dada. We stopped by the horse corral. Dakota visited us. I was a bit hesitant about Dakota b/c our last encounter about two nights previous ended with him turning his back on us and lifting up his tail and dropping a load. I suspect he was annoyed that we just wanted to pet him and didn't bring any food offerings with us. Since that encounter, Henry has mentioned poop several times in the context of talking about horses. Dakota was fine. He spent a good deal of time smelling me. Henry pet him on the head. We left on a good note, I think.
We ran into Jeff, Hal, and Swanee on their way back from the walk. Annie came barreling over to greet us. Luke gave Henry a kiss. Luke is the Ridgeback pictured above. He is a big fellow.
When we came home, Henry played with Bitsy and tried to give her a hug. Not the best idea b/c Bitsy's idea of loving interactions are...unique...and usually involve drawing blood (at least with me). I have no doubt that she thinks that she is being loving. Anyway, she didn't scratch Henry. I guess that they have some sort of special communication going on.
Had a nice dinner. Managed to sneak some asparagus into Henry without much protest.
After dinner, it was play time again. I read some more from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." It has taking us a lot longer to get through these books ever since Henry started walking.
Henry had a bath. Before the bath, he ran around in his diaper trying to climb into his crib. Apparently, he knows the word "crib" as well. We had our computer time. And then it was time for bed. He and Jeff are passed out in the rocking chair at the moment. That's all for now.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Physical Therapy (PT)
On Friday afternoon, we had an appointment with Shirley, Henry's PT, and Elsa, his DDD coordinator. Shirley often brings different toys that have some sort of developmental purpose. This time, she brought a mat that has little feet on it. When baby steps on the foot print, it makes a sounds. We actually have one but forgot about it. Henry had fun with it. She also brought some rings for Henry to handle. Teachings manipulation skills. Henry had an excellent time in the ball bath. He showed Shirley how he can dive into the balls and swing on the bars. Elsa tried to pin down Shirley on how much longer Henry would be needing therapy. And so begins DDD's attempt to get Henry off their rolls so that they don't have to pay for services. Sigh. Henry is doing incredibly. But he is still an "at-risk" child. Not just "kind of, sort of at-risk." A child born as early as Henry was is very much "at-risk" even though he looks fantastic now. Some problems don't appear until the toddler years or elementary school. My gut says that Henry is going to be fine...well, not just fine but fabulous...but my head says that we need to be cautious too. We have no intentions of being sideswiped by these problems, which means that monitoring is important. After all, the whole point of "early intervention" is to catch problems before they become major issues (duh!).Shirley was great. She said, "I can't tell you at what point Henry will no longer need therapy. He needs monitoring. Given his rough start, he is still at-risk." Elsa said that her coordinator wanted to know. Prematurity isn't like fixing a car engine. A lot of the effects are not known. There is no magic playbook.
Shirley asked me if I had any concerns. I have two. They aren't huge, but they exist. They both could be categorized, I suspect, as "sensory" issues. Henry is very sensitive about his hands. Not in a way that prevents him from using them (thank goodness), but he is very protective of them. Part of it has to do with him wanting to be independent and not having people tell him what to do. But the other part, I think, is sensory. I've noticed this since he was less than 3 months adjusted. To date, Shirley is the only person whom I've noticed that he'll let manipulate his hands. When sitting in the car this past week, he held my hand for about a minute on his own initiative. That's the first time he's done that (except when he needs someone to help him down a hill or step). A related sensory issue is his shoulders. He is very sensitive about them. Place your hands on his shoulders, and he'll try to get them off as soon as possible. I've noticed this since he was 5 months adjusted when giving him massages. The shoulders were, and still are, a sensitive zone. Again, it isn't to the point of impairment by any stretch, but it isn't quite "normal" either.
We went for a walk in the evening as usual. Ran into Yvonne and "the girls." Henry made the rounds and pet everyone. He called Precious (black lab) "Pres-she."We played in the ball pit. I handed him a ball and asked him what color it was. He said "blue" (it was indeed a blue ball). Jeff was floored. We haven't tried to actively teach him numbers, letters, or colors yet. When I see a toy, I'll sometimes mention its color, but that's about it. While he was in the ball pit, I figured that maybe I should be more proactive in teaching him things, but I don't want to end up like the parents in Parenthood who run around with flashcards. We spent about 5-10 minutes throwing balls out of the ball pit onto the living room rug. As I handed him a ball for him to throw, I mentioned its color.
We gave Henry a bath. He and Jeff have now named most of the bath animals...Carl Coral, Otto the Elephant, Crabby the Crab, Cayman the Turtle. Henry went to bed at a reasonable hour...about 9PM, I thnk. For him, that's early. Anything before 10PM is early.
Henry's been drooling like crazy. We think that one of the bottom molars is coming in. For the past couple weeks, he's been drooling and sticking his hand in his mouth.
Saturday was Family Day. We went to Joel's Bistro in the morning. Henry had a fabulous time. We sat outside as usual. There were lots of kids in the courtyard...more than we've ever seen. Lots of babies about a year old in strollers. A couple kids Henry's age. A couple kids a little older. A boy named Miles took a liking to Henry. Henry enjoyed the attention. Miles was probably about 5 years old. He told Jeff that Henry talked funny. Miles showed Henry how to find leaves and put them in the fountain and watch them float. Henry caught on right away. Henry ate lots of potatoes for breakfast. Some pancake, a bite of egg, but potatoes were the winner.
We went to my office to water my plants afterward. Henry learned the word "office." He enjoyed sitting in my chair.
We walked around campus a bit. Went to the turtle pond but didn't see any turtles. Came home. Had a nice 2 hour nap. Played. Jeff reported that Henry managed to get in and out of the ball pit by himself. That's a first. Went for a late afternoon walk. Jeff managed to find a missing nut to the wagon handle as we left the driveway. Finding it was amazing luck. Then, we managed to lose it again, but found it on our return. The not-so-great part of the walk was when Henry decided to take Roger's lead and go off road (a few steps anyway), tripped, and got some cholla in his shoes. Amazing that he didn't get it in his hands (thank goodness). For non-desert dwellers, cholla is a type of cactus that is pernicious. It is designed to stick. There isn't a child (or adult) who lives in the area who hasn't gotten it in them at some point. But we'd rather that Henry wait on that fun experience for when he's a little older.
We had dinner in the living room. Black beans, falafel, and banana for Henry. He did some of the spooning himself. The UA vs. USC b-ball game was on. Henry got bored after he was done eating. As Henry ran out of the room, Jeff wondered, "How do we get this kid interested in TV?" We really wanted to watch the game, but we ended up recording it. Henry wanted a bath, so we obliged. He again went to bed at a reasonable hour after looking at pics with me for 10-15 minutes on my computer. I had promised him that we could look at pics if he let us wash his hair.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Foster/Adoption Training -- Day 4
On Wednesday, my parents took care of Henry in the evening, while Jeff and I went to foster/adoption training. Honestly, it wasn't a stellar class. I managed to get both annoyed and bored during it.
Annoyed. A good thing is that we met Alison, our family specialist. We should have met with one the first night. Better late than never, I guess. She asked us where our paper work was (I felt like someone was telling us how behind we are...when it is their own darn fault...why didn't someone collected it the first night?). I said that we had it filled out the first night but didn't have a family specialist at that time. Robert took our paperwork this past Monday night. She then checked on where it was and said "I just have your criminal history, but you'll need to turn in the rest." Ummm...we did. Filled out LOTS of forms. And made copies of our vehicle registrations/insurance, Henry's vaccination records, animal vaccination records, social security cards, bank statements, etc., all per instructions that we were sent over the holiday.
Bored. It wasn't a content heavy class. The instructor kept asking "OK, is everyone with me?" for the umpteenth time. My feeling is that if someone doesn't "get" a basic instruction like "Sign this form" or "Pass this sheet of paper around" when the instructions are given multiple times, they probably don't have the attention span to be a parent. The last 45 minutes were spent on yet another "get to know you" activity. It was fun. And I like our classmates, but I can't help but think that this isn't exactly rigorous training to become a foster parent. Maybe they just have to "fill" 38 hours. It really isn't about the training but about seeing who is willing to jump through a 38 hour hoop. Guess it is working. Some people have already dropped out.
One classmate, whom I will call Gal S (we have agreed as a class to honor each other's privacy and not discuss names outside of class), said that she was a little leery of the system given a story told by Robert Monday night about a mom who was taking care of a couple foster children. She had adopted, I think, one or two as well. Anyway, she was giving foster baby a bath and noticed a slight bruise near baby's diaper area. She didn't think much of it. Bruises do happen. Don't know how it got in the diaper area but kids do fall in all sorts of ways. Baby goes on a biological home visit over the weekend. Biological mom also notices the bruise. Biological mom calls CPS and wants to know why foster mom gets to keep baby when she's doing no better than bio mom. Not exactly the most astute argument that could be made, but nonetheless, CPS responded by calling the police and getting all kids out of the house, including foster mom's adopted kids. An investigation was conducted. No wrongdoing was found. But wow. Having your legal children taken away from you b/c some crack mom wants to stick it to you. Yikes. Roberts point was that you need to document everything, even slight scratches in incident reports, to avoid this scenario. But I think that it still leaves us parents worried that our kids could be pulled out of our homes b/c some crack head parent wants to stick it to us b/c they resent their situation. Henry gets a couple bumps and bruises a week. Small ones of course. I wouldn't be surprised if he has had a slight bruise that I did not notice. It's possible. Just found a slight one yesterday on his left shin. Anyway, the described scenario gave us parents pause. Phylis was kind of like...well, you take chances. Can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. These are the facts. But we tend to give worse case scenarios so that you are prepared.
Another classmate, Lady C, asked if we would be taking drug tests. A reasonable question. But apparently they don't do that. Not that they couldn't, but they don't as a general rule unless someone seems suspicious. Doesn't it seem like all foster parents should be required to take them? One way to prevent druggies from trying to become foster parents for the money. Besides, the major nanny agencies in town have all of their employees take drug tests.
Henry was super cute when we picked him up. He is a great eater for my parents. My mom mentioned yesterday that she thinks Henry is getting a little pot belly. Maybe he's getting ready to shoot up tall.
He continues to be a bear in the morning to walk up. He's defnitely my son. :-)
On Thursday morning, he decided that he wanted to help Patty mop up the floors. She taught him push-pull. He was fascinated. Then, Karina decided that she wanted the mop too. They had a bit of a tussle.
Jeff gave Henry a bath in the afternoon. He can same the word "Gumby" in reference to his toy. He also says "guys." And...much to Jeff's pleasure, Henry has put together the words "golf balls."
Jeff and Henry took the dogs for a walk. They ran into Hal and Swanee. Roger got cactus in his paw. Jeff ended up chasing him around with the comb. Roger is a huge wuss about his paws. Very hard to get him to let us help him. After Jeff got it out, Henry wanted the comb and then started chasing Roger around with it.
We had Chinese over at my parents' house. Jeff brought Henry home, while I worked with my Dad on something.
That's about it from our end. We have a PT appointment with Shirley this afternoon. Elsa is supposed to be coming as well.
Annoyed. A good thing is that we met Alison, our family specialist. We should have met with one the first night. Better late than never, I guess. She asked us where our paper work was (I felt like someone was telling us how behind we are...when it is their own darn fault...why didn't someone collected it the first night?). I said that we had it filled out the first night but didn't have a family specialist at that time. Robert took our paperwork this past Monday night. She then checked on where it was and said "I just have your criminal history, but you'll need to turn in the rest." Ummm...we did. Filled out LOTS of forms. And made copies of our vehicle registrations/insurance, Henry's vaccination records, animal vaccination records, social security cards, bank statements, etc., all per instructions that we were sent over the holiday.
Bored. It wasn't a content heavy class. The instructor kept asking "OK, is everyone with me?" for the umpteenth time. My feeling is that if someone doesn't "get" a basic instruction like "Sign this form" or "Pass this sheet of paper around" when the instructions are given multiple times, they probably don't have the attention span to be a parent. The last 45 minutes were spent on yet another "get to know you" activity. It was fun. And I like our classmates, but I can't help but think that this isn't exactly rigorous training to become a foster parent. Maybe they just have to "fill" 38 hours. It really isn't about the training but about seeing who is willing to jump through a 38 hour hoop. Guess it is working. Some people have already dropped out.
One classmate, whom I will call Gal S (we have agreed as a class to honor each other's privacy and not discuss names outside of class), said that she was a little leery of the system given a story told by Robert Monday night about a mom who was taking care of a couple foster children. She had adopted, I think, one or two as well. Anyway, she was giving foster baby a bath and noticed a slight bruise near baby's diaper area. She didn't think much of it. Bruises do happen. Don't know how it got in the diaper area but kids do fall in all sorts of ways. Baby goes on a biological home visit over the weekend. Biological mom also notices the bruise. Biological mom calls CPS and wants to know why foster mom gets to keep baby when she's doing no better than bio mom. Not exactly the most astute argument that could be made, but nonetheless, CPS responded by calling the police and getting all kids out of the house, including foster mom's adopted kids. An investigation was conducted. No wrongdoing was found. But wow. Having your legal children taken away from you b/c some crack mom wants to stick it to you. Yikes. Roberts point was that you need to document everything, even slight scratches in incident reports, to avoid this scenario. But I think that it still leaves us parents worried that our kids could be pulled out of our homes b/c some crack head parent wants to stick it to us b/c they resent their situation. Henry gets a couple bumps and bruises a week. Small ones of course. I wouldn't be surprised if he has had a slight bruise that I did not notice. It's possible. Just found a slight one yesterday on his left shin. Anyway, the described scenario gave us parents pause. Phylis was kind of like...well, you take chances. Can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. These are the facts. But we tend to give worse case scenarios so that you are prepared.
Another classmate, Lady C, asked if we would be taking drug tests. A reasonable question. But apparently they don't do that. Not that they couldn't, but they don't as a general rule unless someone seems suspicious. Doesn't it seem like all foster parents should be required to take them? One way to prevent druggies from trying to become foster parents for the money. Besides, the major nanny agencies in town have all of their employees take drug tests.
Henry was super cute when we picked him up. He is a great eater for my parents. My mom mentioned yesterday that she thinks Henry is getting a little pot belly. Maybe he's getting ready to shoot up tall.
He continues to be a bear in the morning to walk up. He's defnitely my son. :-)
On Thursday morning, he decided that he wanted to help Patty mop up the floors. She taught him push-pull. He was fascinated. Then, Karina decided that she wanted the mop too. They had a bit of a tussle.
Jeff gave Henry a bath in the afternoon. He can same the word "Gumby" in reference to his toy. He also says "guys." And...much to Jeff's pleasure, Henry has put together the words "golf balls."
Jeff and Henry took the dogs for a walk. They ran into Hal and Swanee. Roger got cactus in his paw. Jeff ended up chasing him around with the comb. Roger is a huge wuss about his paws. Very hard to get him to let us help him. After Jeff got it out, Henry wanted the comb and then started chasing Roger around with it.
We had Chinese over at my parents' house. Jeff brought Henry home, while I worked with my Dad on something.
That's about it from our end. We have a PT appointment with Shirley this afternoon. Elsa is supposed to be coming as well.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A Gaggle of Dogs
On Tuesday, we went for a walk in the late afternoon. Jeff had taken Henry over to visit Dakota and Outlaw, the horses.
On our walk, Henry gave Marley a couple of very nice hugs. His arms can reach all the way around her waist now. I think that she's happier with him these days. Still needs close monitoring of course. But it is nice to see her accept him.
We ran into Yvonne and her dogs Banjo, Chocolate, and Precious. Banjo is a big hound dog. When Henry saw her, he said "Banjo!" We were surprised that he could identify her by sight b/c we haven't seen "the girls" in a couple weeks. I guess all of those walks in the past have resulted in him learning words before he could verbalize them. Amazing.
He was very interested in Banjo tonight. He said her name several times. His enunciation was excellent. We didn't run into Brandi. She may not have been keen on the large crowd. Henry loved watching the dogs run around and play up and down the road. We learned that we have to watch Chocolate around Henry b/c she tried to nip him. It wasn't aggressive exactly, but she might not know her own strength. It was kind of like she was trying to lick/nip him so that he'd know she was ahead of him in "pack" status. He seemed oblivious to her point of view. He called out her name several times, referring to her as "Choco!" Precious' name was too hard to say. Came out garbled. He also has a hard time with our cat Princess' name, so it isn't surprising that he found it difficult.
We ran into two couples on the way down the road. Henry was incredibly friendly with everyone. Quite the popular guy! He said "Hi" and "Bye" to everyone.
On the way back, we ran into Hal, Annie, and Luke. Henry just loves watching Annie run around. Marley was having fun trying to herd Annie. By this time, we had a gathering of seven dogs. It was a rare event watching Marley truly enjoy playing with other dogs. Jeff monitored Henry closely, much to Henry's chagrin. But the dogs were rambunctious and could easily trample him without noticing a problem. Henry enjoyed kisses from Annie and Luke. Luke simply loves Henry. He lights up when Henry is around. He seems to understand that Henry is the youngest pup of the group.
We came back home. Henry wanted dinner before his chicken was really cooked. So we are saving Jeff's baked chicken for tomorrow. I made soup. Tried something new. It was...mediocre. Bottom line: I'm a menace in the kitchen. We gave Henry a bath. Looked at some pictures on the computer. Henry likes Miss Piggy. Then, Jeff took him to bed. He went down easily. I think that staying up late the night before was getting to him. He was a bear to get out of bed this morning. And Alicia had a hard time getting him up for lunch...at 2PM.
The only other thing worth mentioning is that he is drooling like crazy. More than we have ever seen before. His gum are really bothering him. Hopefully, the teeth will break through soon!
On our walk, Henry gave Marley a couple of very nice hugs. His arms can reach all the way around her waist now. I think that she's happier with him these days. Still needs close monitoring of course. But it is nice to see her accept him.
We ran into Yvonne and her dogs Banjo, Chocolate, and Precious. Banjo is a big hound dog. When Henry saw her, he said "Banjo!" We were surprised that he could identify her by sight b/c we haven't seen "the girls" in a couple weeks. I guess all of those walks in the past have resulted in him learning words before he could verbalize them. Amazing.
He was very interested in Banjo tonight. He said her name several times. His enunciation was excellent. We didn't run into Brandi. She may not have been keen on the large crowd. Henry loved watching the dogs run around and play up and down the road. We learned that we have to watch Chocolate around Henry b/c she tried to nip him. It wasn't aggressive exactly, but she might not know her own strength. It was kind of like she was trying to lick/nip him so that he'd know she was ahead of him in "pack" status. He seemed oblivious to her point of view. He called out her name several times, referring to her as "Choco!" Precious' name was too hard to say. Came out garbled. He also has a hard time with our cat Princess' name, so it isn't surprising that he found it difficult.
We ran into two couples on the way down the road. Henry was incredibly friendly with everyone. Quite the popular guy! He said "Hi" and "Bye" to everyone.
On the way back, we ran into Hal, Annie, and Luke. Henry just loves watching Annie run around. Marley was having fun trying to herd Annie. By this time, we had a gathering of seven dogs. It was a rare event watching Marley truly enjoy playing with other dogs. Jeff monitored Henry closely, much to Henry's chagrin. But the dogs were rambunctious and could easily trample him without noticing a problem. Henry enjoyed kisses from Annie and Luke. Luke simply loves Henry. He lights up when Henry is around. He seems to understand that Henry is the youngest pup of the group.
We came back home. Henry wanted dinner before his chicken was really cooked. So we are saving Jeff's baked chicken for tomorrow. I made soup. Tried something new. It was...mediocre. Bottom line: I'm a menace in the kitchen. We gave Henry a bath. Looked at some pictures on the computer. Henry likes Miss Piggy. Then, Jeff took him to bed. He went down easily. I think that staying up late the night before was getting to him. He was a bear to get out of bed this morning. And Alicia had a hard time getting him up for lunch...at 2PM.
The only other thing worth mentioning is that he is drooling like crazy. More than we have ever seen before. His gum are really bothering him. Hopefully, the teeth will break through soon!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Foster/Adoption Training -- Day 3
Today was too short on time spent with Henry. Jeff witnessed Henry and Karina getting into an argument. Apparently, Karina threw something down on the ground in a fit. Henry picked it up but then Karina decided that she wanted it back. Henry wouldn't give it to her so she came at him. Sigh. Oh, and he had scratches on him this morning. Wonder how he got those. I'm quite sure it wasn't from Bitsy.
We dropped Henry off at Grandma and Grandpa's house around 5PM. Henry was busy as usual.
Robert, the fellow from the agency who ran tonight's session, called me in the afternoon to say: (1) our new family specialist is Allison...OK that's specialist number 3 whom we gone through (and yet never met), and (2) we are behind on the paper work. A bit frustrating to hear considering that it was Robert who told us last Monday to hold onto our paper work and give it to our family specialist. I informed him that our paper work was done (97% of it was done the first night)...if a family specialist was ever to meet with us. The good news is that Allison is going to keep the appointment that Julie (our second assigned family specialist) set up for Tuesday.
When we arrived, I had to remind Robert that our paper work was done. He almost said hold onto it until tomorrow, but I suggested to him that he take it (already). Luckily, he is a notary, so we didn't have to track down the receptionist, who is also a notary. A couple papers required signatures in front of a notary.
We had "Article 9" training this evening. Basically, it tells us what the foster children's rights are and what we can and cannot do in terms of discipline. Some of the examples of "real" cases were incredibly disturbing.
Foster children have a right to confidentiality, so a foster parent cannot reveal to anyone that the child is a "foster child" unless the person to whom they are speaking is the child's case worker and/or doctor. So if a neighbor asks on our walks, "Who is this?" We say, "This is our child." If the neighbor replies, "I've never seen that child before. How did you suddenly get a 3 year old?" We just have to say, "This is our child." End of story. This applies to our friends as well. Consequently, a person who knows us will have make an inferential leap about the child's status if a child is placed with us. We will never reveal the child's history or status as a foster child.
We learned a lot of acronyms. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that we heard a lot of acronyms. Jeff was pleased with the session. He felt it was more substantive than the first two sessions. We had to take a test at the end of the class. Of course, we went through a pre-test that was identical to the actual test. To pass, one had to get 80% of the questions answered correctly.
Henry was very cute when we arrived to pick him up. I had a Chipolte vegetarian salad with guacamole. Henry pointed to it, wanting some. I asked him if he wanted guacamole. He repeated "guacamimo." Close enough. He ate about 3-4 bites of the guacamimo. According to my parents, he ate A LOT of food this evening. Potatoes, ham, turkey, yogurt, and pea crisps. In his PJs, you could see the roundness of his little belly. Haven't seen that in awhile. Maybe he's getting ready to shoot up tall again. He was getting very disorganized before we left. His coordination gets way off when he is tired. He didn't fall asleep in the car, except for the last 30 seconds of the ride.
I spent some time on the computer with him before bed. He likes "Beako" or "Beaker" from the Muppets. Jeff took him to bed. He said it didn't take long for him to sack out. That's all for now.
We dropped Henry off at Grandma and Grandpa's house around 5PM. Henry was busy as usual.
Robert, the fellow from the agency who ran tonight's session, called me in the afternoon to say: (1) our new family specialist is Allison...OK that's specialist number 3 whom we gone through (and yet never met), and (2) we are behind on the paper work. A bit frustrating to hear considering that it was Robert who told us last Monday to hold onto our paper work and give it to our family specialist. I informed him that our paper work was done (97% of it was done the first night)...if a family specialist was ever to meet with us. The good news is that Allison is going to keep the appointment that Julie (our second assigned family specialist) set up for Tuesday.
When we arrived, I had to remind Robert that our paper work was done. He almost said hold onto it until tomorrow, but I suggested to him that he take it (already). Luckily, he is a notary, so we didn't have to track down the receptionist, who is also a notary. A couple papers required signatures in front of a notary.
We had "Article 9" training this evening. Basically, it tells us what the foster children's rights are and what we can and cannot do in terms of discipline. Some of the examples of "real" cases were incredibly disturbing.
Foster children have a right to confidentiality, so a foster parent cannot reveal to anyone that the child is a "foster child" unless the person to whom they are speaking is the child's case worker and/or doctor. So if a neighbor asks on our walks, "Who is this?" We say, "This is our child." If the neighbor replies, "I've never seen that child before. How did you suddenly get a 3 year old?" We just have to say, "This is our child." End of story. This applies to our friends as well. Consequently, a person who knows us will have make an inferential leap about the child's status if a child is placed with us. We will never reveal the child's history or status as a foster child.
We learned a lot of acronyms. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that we heard a lot of acronyms. Jeff was pleased with the session. He felt it was more substantive than the first two sessions. We had to take a test at the end of the class. Of course, we went through a pre-test that was identical to the actual test. To pass, one had to get 80% of the questions answered correctly.
Henry was very cute when we arrived to pick him up. I had a Chipolte vegetarian salad with guacamole. Henry pointed to it, wanting some. I asked him if he wanted guacamole. He repeated "guacamimo." Close enough. He ate about 3-4 bites of the guacamimo. According to my parents, he ate A LOT of food this evening. Potatoes, ham, turkey, yogurt, and pea crisps. In his PJs, you could see the roundness of his little belly. Haven't seen that in awhile. Maybe he's getting ready to shoot up tall again. He was getting very disorganized before we left. His coordination gets way off when he is tired. He didn't fall asleep in the car, except for the last 30 seconds of the ride.
I spent some time on the computer with him before bed. He likes "Beako" or "Beaker" from the Muppets. Jeff took him to bed. He said it didn't take long for him to sack out. That's all for now.
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