New Addition

On Wednesday, Jeff picked up the kids at daycare and took them for a walk with the dogs. When I arrived home, everyone was at the table just getting started on dinner. I asked Miss R who her friends were at school. She said, "Cassie." Henry replied, "Miss Cassie's not a friend. She's a teacher." I was a bit impressed by his distinction, but I told him that Miss R could choose whomever she wanted to be her friend.

On Thursday, we went to Swenson's with my mom for a little celebration dinner. My mom received the results back from her tests the day before, and she's eligible to do chemo. That's good news. Henry was...well...a terror at dinner. Absolutely unruly. He managed to bang his head a couple times on the table with his shenanigans. Jeff and I had met my parents and the kids at Swenson's. Poppy had been the one to pick them up at daycare. He was told that Henry had gotten into trouble for locking other kids into the bathroom. A prankster at 2.5 years old. Great. I seem many visits to the principal's office throughout his schooling.

On Friday morning, I asked Miss Stephanie about Henry's activities. She didn't know anything about them so it must have been something that he did in the afternoon. I also asked her about how Henry's situation would be handled when he turned 3 as he turns 3 (actual age, not adjusted) in April and he still isn't potty trained. Apparently, they have one 3 year old room devoted to 3s who aren't potty trained yet. I asked her if she thought he was ready (in the back of my mind, I was thinking about his adjusted age and what would be best), and she said that she thought he would be. He's started talking a lot in the last couple months and she could finally see what I meant when I said he was a talker. She also thinks that he gets bored easily and could use the challenge.

Miss R stayed home on Friday b/c she'd been sick with a cough and slight fever. Jeff gave her a nebulizing treatment in the morning. To my surprise, Miss R was still at the breakfast when I got back home. Our telephone rang but it was out of easy reach. Then, my cell phone went off. It was Maria from A Place To Call Home.

They needed a foster family for a little baby who was born on Wednesday. She wanted to know if we were interested. I was surprised by the call b/c I didn't think that we were on the "active" list. I talked with Jeff, and we decided that we were willing to give it a whirl, provided the baby was not medically fragile. Although we originally got into foster care thinking that we'd take care of preemies, we realize that with Henry's current curiosity and unwillingness to follow rules, our home would not be a great place for a medically fragile child at the moment. I can just see Henry pulling on a tube inappropriately or something. I called Maria, and she said that it was a healthy baby girl. The bio mom has had prior involvement with the system, which is why the baby was being taken away from her at the hospital. We said that we were willing. I strongly suspect that they wouldn't have called us unless there was a strong need given that we weren't even listed as active seekers.

In the late afternoon, the CPS investigator dropped off the baby girl at 2 days old. She has a full head of hair...about as much as Henry did at 18 months adjusted...maybe more. I can't say her name on this blog for privacy reasons per CPS regulations, but I can say that it is a very long name and neither we nor anyone at CPS knows how to pronounce it. So we are calling her a shortened version of her name based on the first couple syllables. On this blog, we'll call her Baby A. The investigator didn't have a lot of information about Baby A as the case just fell in her lap Friday morning. Baby A weighed 6 lbs 4 ozs at birth. There's no father listed on the case. The mother just had her rights terminated to Baby A's sibling in October. I asked if that sibling's foster parents and/or adoptive parents had been contacted in regards to Baby A, and she said that they had not yet done that. In regards to the sibling, the sibling had been placed with bio family, but it didn't work out, so the investigators did not seek a kinship placement for Baby A. We'll find out more about the case on Tuesday when we attend the TDM (team decision meeting), which is where the bio parent(s) hash things out with the CPS investigators before the case goes to Court and charges are formally brought forth. Given that Baby A has a sibling, I'd assume that it is quite possible that she ends up being with us for a short time. We'll see.

Jeff commented on how Baby A seems so small, and yet she's substantially bigger than Henry when he came home weighing 4 lbs 13 ozs.

Miss R was absolutely wonderful about Baby A. I've explained that Baby A is a friend who will be staying with us for awhile. Because she's a baby, she'll need Miss R to show her the ropes. And Miss R seems up to that challenge. She really hasn't seemed jealous at all. Perhaps she remembers how we did respite with Miss A, a toddler, who stayed just for an evening. After the investigator left, Jeff picked up Henry. It was interesting trying to juggle a newborn and a toddler who needed to use the potty. I don't know how single moms do it.

Jeff explained to Henry how we were having a baby visit us. As they came through the door, Henry ran into the living room to see our visitor. And he was delighted at having a baby nearby. He even remembered her name...well, nickname...that Jeff had told him.

I'm probably going to jink our good fortune by writing this down, but so far, I can't even begin to convey how much easier this newborn is than Henry around his due date. I know that new parents with full-term babies think that they have it rough because they have to get up every few hours to fed the baby (gasp!). But when we compare that to Henry's situation, it is heavenly. The big challenge has not so much to do with the baby per se, but making sure that someone has an eye on Henry the Troublemaker. Baby A sleeps. She makes a noise when she wants to eat. We change her. She drinks her bottle. Then she falls asleep again. Her cycle is a bit shorted than the usual baby feeding of every three hours. She eats every 1.5-2 hours or so. But she sucks down her ounce in about 5-10 minutes, which is a far cry from our feeding marathons with Henry where it would take an hour plus to get an ounce down him. Not to mention Henry's insomnia caused by that devil's brew called Reglan that made it so that Henry only slept 1-3 hours per day (not straight sleep) those first several weeks at home.

Jeff on several occasions has described Henry's home coming as one of the toughest nights of our lives (only to be outdone by a couple nights that took place the previous 3.5 months of Henry's NICU stay). The accumulation of 109 days of extreme stress and sleep deprivation impacts a homecoming. And it isn't as though a preemie parent gets to pretend that the previous 3.5 months didn't happen and that at the due date, the preemie is just like a full-term newborn. I know that a lot of people don't understand that the long-term risks and consequences of prematurity, but they are a fact. Preemies, especially micropreemies, have more legitimate concerns surrounding their survival and development than full-term kids. It was hard knowing that Henry only had a 14%-22% chance of "Survival Without Moderate to Severe Neurodevelopmental Impairment" according to the NIH predictions. It was hard having to lug the oxygen canister everywhere those first four months at home. Trying to change Henry's clothes while ensuring important tubes didn't get disconnected. Having several appointments a week was no picnic. It was, of course, all worth it, and we'd do it again if we had to. It still makes me a bit sad to think of what Henry had to endure in the NICU (picks and prods on extremely sensitive skin, the feeding challenges, the surgeries, etc.). We are incredibly proud of Henry and his fortitude. And we are incredibly thankful that we had the kind of family support that we did, especially that first year.

Jeff and I are going to try to figure out a strategy for getting Baby A to sleep in a crib when she wants to snooze. Friday night, we held her all night long. I held her until 3:10AM. Jeff wasn't on baby duty BUT he was on building a crib duty until 1:15AM. He got 2 hours of shut eye and then she cried. He stayed up with her from 3:15-6:45AM. I woke up and took over. Fortunately, the kids didn't get up until 8:15AM, so he squeaked in another 1.5 hours of sleep.

I didn't mind staying up Friday night. I got to watch a few Cold Case episodes, which was fun. But it would be nice if in-between feeds at night, Baby A snoozed in the crib. It would be better for both our mental and physical well-beings! We know that we *can* push our bodies to the limits as we did with Henry, but we are hoping that we don't have to.

Another remarkable thing about Baby A is the unremarkable amount of spit up that she produces. A huge pet peeve of the preemie parent whose child has medically diagnosed reflux is to have other parents say "oh, all children spit up" when one mentions the reflux problem. Hearing that phrase pretty much made me want to hit some people upside the head. Baby spit does not equal reflux (true medically diagnosed reflux). Baby A has spit up a couple times. It hasn't been profuse, which is so nice. I hope that she continues to tolerate her formula.

I was told by a CPS worker that Baby A did receive some breast milk from her bio mom, so I'm glad that her bio mom was able to give her that gift. She came home on Similac, and it seems OK so far. That too is a nice change from our previous experience of Henry being allergic to cow's milk and soy-based formula used as a fortifier.

On Saturday, we stayed at home. The kids ran around in their night shirts for most of the day. Time seemed to fly by. Jeff got out some of Henry's old equipment. Henry and Miss R took turns in the bouncy chair. Miss R held Baby A for the first time. She also "helped" with diaper changes. Henry had no interest in helping with diaper changes. I asked him, and he said "No." A person from the Blake Foundation stopped by to give Baby A a developmental evaluation. She said that because Baby A has no siblings receiving services and is an infant, the Blake Foundation will be the group doing the monthly evaluations. I was glad about that b/c La Fronterra, who was in charge of Miss R's case, completely dropped the ball on evaluating Miss R. I'd rather not have to deal with a group that gets paid by the state and does nothing.

On our evening walk, Henry freaked out Luke, a very large Rhodesian Ridgeback. He gave him a big hug and said "I love you!" I guess Luke didn't know what to make of that. At the wash, Henry pretended the slope was a "waterfall."

At some point yesterday, Jeff asked Henry if he wanted juice. Henry pointed to the OJ and said that he wanted the one from Basha's. Jeff asked him how he knew that the OJ was from Basha's. Henry pointed to the word "Basha's" on the carton.

In the evening, Henry was in a particularly imaginative mood. Before bed, he was trying to convince Miss R that the benches that he'd stacked up on the picnic table were a dragon and they had to hide inside of the playhouse. The kids had fun throwing receiving blankets in the air. Henry pretended his blank was a "whip." Jeff tells me that Henry was making a Snoopy reference.

Jeff took the baby shift from 11PM-5AM. He said that he got the chance to doze before 2AM, but then Baby A wanted to eat, eat, eat.

This morning (Sunday), I woke up at 5AM, surprised that Jeff had left me sleep for 5 hours straight (I have a wonderful husband). He slept from 5-9:15AM, but had a couple interruptions from The Twins. Miss R wanted to get up at 5:15AM. I told her she had to sleep, but let her into the bed with Jeff, which did the trick. She took up my spot on the bed and looked very content. Henry woke up around 6:30AM or so. He wanted Daddy. I let him into bed with Jeff, but unlike Miss R, he was jabbering, so I had to remove him and eventually carted him to the living room. He decided he wanted breakfast. I was going to make him waffles but he was adamant about eating a corndog. After breakfast, I let him watch Elmo's Potty Time. He enjoyed watching Elmo, but I don't think that the message of the video left much of an impression.

Baby A was easy going. She ate, slept, and required a couple diaper changes. Jeff and Miss R got up after 9AM. Miss R was in her underware all night (we forgot to put on a pull-up) and she did not have an accident. Amazing! We are so impressed with her potty skills. Hopefully, she'll be pull-up free in a couple months. Because she was such a big girl, I plan to take her to the store and buy her whatever panties she wants.

At some point, I asked Henry what he wanted to do today. He said, "park." I said, "Do you want to go to the park with the roller slide in Marana?" He said, "No, the other park." I said, "The park in Oro Valley?" He replied, "E.D.O." I was shocked. How does he remember these things? C.D.O. is near the park in Oro Valley.

Something clicked for Henry when it came to throwing balls. He seems to get the concept of throwing in a more sophisticated way than before when it comes to aim and force. He spent some of the morning trying to throw a rubber basketball through the tunnel on the fourth level of the cat tree. And then he climbed into his ball pit and started throwing balls from the pit into the playhouse window. His aim was actually quite good, and he has his father's and grandfather's ambidextrous abilities. His left hand throw is just as good as his right. After some good throws, Henry yelled "And the crowd goes wild!!!"

At 11:30AM, Jeff took Henry and Miss R to the park in Marana. They only had the opportunity to play for 10 minutes. Then, it started to ran. Henry recommended to Jeff that they go to Sunflower. But as they approached the Ina/Thornydale intersection (Sunflower not in view), Henry announced that he didn't want to go to Sunflower, he wanted to go to the McDonald's with the play equipment. Jeff decided not to take him there, because of our last experience at a McD's when Henry refused to get off the equipment and wouldn't come down.

When they came home, it was time for a nap. The Twins didn't go down without a fight. Both had typical toddler tantrums. Henry's tantrum was complete with feet stamping and his mouth in an upside down sad face.

Alright. I have a little bit of time before the kids get up. I'm going to head out to Babies R Us for supplies. Jeff has Baby A on his shoulder. They look very cute together.