Yesterday afternoon, I had the meeting with the evaluators from TUSD (our school district). Henry's skills in five areas (gross motor, fine motor, cognition, speech, and social) are in the "normal" range. So he is officially out of early intervention and will not be continuing in the school system for special education. His developmental coordinator from the early intervention program, Elsa, was surprised that they went off of her test from December, given that the person in their main office (Lisa) said it was an unreliable test. She was also surprised that they thoroughly tested him in the area that we had no concerns whatsoever (speech) and told them as much in December. His receptive speech was high-normal comparing him against 3 year olds (he was 2 yrs 6.5 months adjusted when tested). That's government bureaucracies for you.
In any event, if we have any concerns in 6 months, we can have him tested again. At this point, we think that he is doing very well. If toe walking continues in the next year, we'll figure out what to do then. Hopefully, he will outgrow it. In the meantime, we'll continue to nag him about using his whole foot when walking.
Elsa said that this appointment would be her last on Henry's case. She also said it is probably going to be her last with the early intervention-school district transition process. She praised me and Jeff for being proactive parents and said that Henry's progress couldn't have happened without us. She said that with the state's budget cuts, early intervention is going to be dismantled. The state will throw back 40 years of progress to the winds. Ultimately, I know that the decision to cut early intervention will end up costing the state MORE money because problems that could have been headed off when kids are 0-3 years old will not be addressed, meaning that the problems will get bigger and more severe...creating a generation of people with special needs that won't go away and will be costly to the individuals and the state. Thank goodness early intervention was there for Henry and us. I look back on the past three years and vividly remember specific moments when we were at the crossroads and ended up taking much smoother trails with the assistance of Henry's physical and occupational therapists.
While I was at the meeting for Henry, Jeff took Baby A for a weigh check. She weighed 7 lbs. 1 oz. That is a 13 oz gain since birth!
I picked up Henry on my way home. Apparently, both he and Miss R were on the playground together when CPS arrived to take Miss R to her sibling visit. The teachers reported that Henry was very upset that someone took his sister. Henry sobbed for her.
Our family specialist Alison arrived around 4:30PM. Baby A's lawyer arrived shortly after. He couldn't tell us much about the case. In fact, he said that he didn't have much information as CPS doesn't release the briefs until 5PM the day before a case is being heard. But even if he did, he recommended that we attend the various meetings and hearings to find out information as he represents the baby, not us. He wants us involved but he also can't reveal too much about the bio parents for privacy reasons. We have to find out that information from the case workers. He appeared incredibly knowledgeable about the system. Alison asked him a lot of questions, and when he left, she said that he was the most knowledgeable family lawyer she had yet to encounter. I think that he will work hard to make the best decisions possible for Baby A. If the plan is a "reunification" plan, he said that he will be requesting two visits per week...if CPS can work that out. He thinks that it is best for parents and babies.
I set up my laptop for Henry so that he wouldn't get into too much trouble with company around. When the FBI warning came on, Henry exclaimed, "It's the FBI!" The lawyer was amused by Henry.
We had a long dinner last night. The big hit as far as Miss R was concerned was the cole slaw. I put some cole slaw on the kids' plates for kicks, but I didn't think that they'd eat it. Henry spit his out. Miss R wasn't interested in her cole slaw, but she wanted mine. She ate about a half-cup of it.
This morning, Miss R got up at 5AM to use the potty and then went back to bed. I'm loving that she is potty trained.
We have yet another nanny today. This one has four grandsons and was very excited to be taking care of a baby girl. So far, so good.
I have to get ready for court now. Unfortunately, due to what we do know about the case, I'm going to go to school and take a taxi to court and then get a taxi back to school. We don't want any of the bio family to see our license plate and be able to track us down for security reasons.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Busy Day
Monday afternoon and evening were uneventful. Given the general chaos that seems to rule our lives these days, we like uneventful.
We went on a family walk. We ran into Hal. Henry decided to play with the rocks in Hal's drive, which we told him to not touch. Unfortunately, Henry chose the rocks which are frequently urinated on by the neighborhood coyotes. Hal said, "At least pee is sterile." Not much comfort, I'm afraid. Henry ran up Hal's driveway. He probably would have kept running, but Jeff called out to him and he actually responded. He also managed to run his head into a cactus, but luckily it wasn't the "jumping" kind. As we said goodbye, Miss R said "Goodbye, Hal." Henry said, "Goodbye, Harold." I told him to say goodbye "Hal." Hal laughed because his birth name is Harold.
It is funny how different kids truly require different parenting styles. Miss R refused to come back with us on the walk...at least initially. So we said goodbye, turned around, and walked home. Not surprisingly, Miss R quickly followed. I would never use such a technique on Henry, however, because he is super stubborn and would use the opportunity to walk into the desert on his own, I'm sure.
We had a very long dinner. Henry decided that he didn't want the meatloaf but really wanted my thai soup. Miss R ate a good amount of meatloaf, which was nice to see. And both kids ate cake. They had a bath while I took care of Baby A. Jeff did baby duty until 3AM and then we switched. I was happy that "Charmed" came on at 5AM. The 3-5AM time slot is fairly dismal. I used to watch "Charmed" re-runs when Henry was came home.
This morning, Baby A ate too much and spit up a lot. She acts so frenetic when she doesn't have a bottle in her mouth. Henry was excited to be eating "panda bear cereal," which Jeff bought him yesterday at Sunflower. Miss R was very shy around today's nanny. When I dropped off the kids at school, Henry threw a HUGE tantrum because I wouldn't let him bring his Peter Pan book to school. The daycare prefers not to have personal belongings as they are likely to get lost or destroyed. He threw himself on the ground and I had to carry him to the door. Once inside, the tears stopped. Go figure.
Today is a busy one. I have a meeting at 2:30PM to find out the results of the TUSD evaluation. Jeff's going to take Baby A for a weight check. Baby A's lawyer is going to visit our home. And then Alison from A Place To Call Home is going to visit. And then tomorrow, we have Baby A's court hearing. In the meantime, I'm spending the day cleaning. Yea.
We went on a family walk. We ran into Hal. Henry decided to play with the rocks in Hal's drive, which we told him to not touch. Unfortunately, Henry chose the rocks which are frequently urinated on by the neighborhood coyotes. Hal said, "At least pee is sterile." Not much comfort, I'm afraid. Henry ran up Hal's driveway. He probably would have kept running, but Jeff called out to him and he actually responded. He also managed to run his head into a cactus, but luckily it wasn't the "jumping" kind. As we said goodbye, Miss R said "Goodbye, Hal." Henry said, "Goodbye, Harold." I told him to say goodbye "Hal." Hal laughed because his birth name is Harold.
It is funny how different kids truly require different parenting styles. Miss R refused to come back with us on the walk...at least initially. So we said goodbye, turned around, and walked home. Not surprisingly, Miss R quickly followed. I would never use such a technique on Henry, however, because he is super stubborn and would use the opportunity to walk into the desert on his own, I'm sure.
We had a very long dinner. Henry decided that he didn't want the meatloaf but really wanted my thai soup. Miss R ate a good amount of meatloaf, which was nice to see. And both kids ate cake. They had a bath while I took care of Baby A. Jeff did baby duty until 3AM and then we switched. I was happy that "Charmed" came on at 5AM. The 3-5AM time slot is fairly dismal. I used to watch "Charmed" re-runs when Henry was came home.
This morning, Baby A ate too much and spit up a lot. She acts so frenetic when she doesn't have a bottle in her mouth. Henry was excited to be eating "panda bear cereal," which Jeff bought him yesterday at Sunflower. Miss R was very shy around today's nanny. When I dropped off the kids at school, Henry threw a HUGE tantrum because I wouldn't let him bring his Peter Pan book to school. The daycare prefers not to have personal belongings as they are likely to get lost or destroyed. He threw himself on the ground and I had to carry him to the door. Once inside, the tears stopped. Go figure.
Today is a busy one. I have a meeting at 2:30PM to find out the results of the TUSD evaluation. Jeff's going to take Baby A for a weight check. Baby A's lawyer is going to visit our home. And then Alison from A Place To Call Home is going to visit. And then tomorrow, we have Baby A's court hearing. In the meantime, I'm spending the day cleaning. Yea.
Monday, March 15, 2010
"I'm a wildcat! I have big muscles!"
On Sunday, I got the kids ready to go to the birthday party at Grammy and Poppy's house as Jeff walked the dogs. As I tried to get the kids ready, Henry ended up in the front hall closet lifting 1 lb weights up and down. He told me, "I'm exercising." I'm not sure where he picked that up as Jeff and I haven't exercised in front of him (other than our failed yoga attempt last month).
Henry and Miss R were in delightful form. Aunt Carolyn, Aunt Erin, Uncle Brian, my Aunt Gloria, and my parents were there. Baby A pretty much slept the entire time. Miss R gorged herself on almonds. Hopefully, she'll eat them if we buy them for her. I had no idea she liked nuts.
Henry and Miss R did the "Maniac!" dance and song for everyone. At one point, Henry was running around with the Bumbo on his head. It reminded me of a scene from Parenthood (1989):
Karen: [referring to Justin, the toddler] He likes to butt things with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.
Henry and Miss R enjoyed the cake. I'm always surprised when Henry actually eats something that's sweet. It was a dark chocolate flavor, so perhaps that helped.
On Monday morning, Jeff asked Henry what was on his shirt. His shirt was red and said "Arizona" on it. Henry said, "I'm a wildcat! I have big muscles!"
The other cute thing that Henry did this morning was sing, "Oh Daddy, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Daddy, hey Daddy" (complete with claps). I often sing the "Hey Mickey" song to the kids (taking turns inserting Henry and Miss R's names in lieu of Mickey).
The drop off at school was uneventful. Came back home and wore Baby A around the house in a sling while catching up on email.
Henry and Miss R were in delightful form. Aunt Carolyn, Aunt Erin, Uncle Brian, my Aunt Gloria, and my parents were there. Baby A pretty much slept the entire time. Miss R gorged herself on almonds. Hopefully, she'll eat them if we buy them for her. I had no idea she liked nuts.
Henry and Miss R did the "Maniac!" dance and song for everyone. At one point, Henry was running around with the Bumbo on his head. It reminded me of a scene from Parenthood (1989):
Karen: [referring to Justin, the toddler] He likes to butt things with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.
Henry and Miss R enjoyed the cake. I'm always surprised when Henry actually eats something that's sweet. It was a dark chocolate flavor, so perhaps that helped.
On Monday morning, Jeff asked Henry what was on his shirt. His shirt was red and said "Arizona" on it. Henry said, "I'm a wildcat! I have big muscles!"
The other cute thing that Henry did this morning was sing, "Oh Daddy, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Daddy, hey Daddy" (complete with claps). I often sing the "Hey Mickey" song to the kids (taking turns inserting Henry and Miss R's names in lieu of Mickey).
The drop off at school was uneventful. Came back home and wore Baby A around the house in a sling while catching up on email.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
A Family Outing
On Friday, it was "crazy hair day" at school. As Henry prepared for his day, I put mousse in his hair to make it "crazier" than usual. It usually looks pretty crazy. Henry could double for Dennis the Menace...mainly because I really don't like putting hair products in a toddler's hair as a general rule. Henry flipped out and wanted it out of his hair. So I combed it through. It was the most tame that I'd ever seen his hair before. He seemed happy with it. It was not crazy at all. Very un-Henry like.
We had another nanny arrived in the morning. I really liked her. The other ones were fine, but this nanny was excited to hold the baby. She said that her parents had fostered infants when she was growing up.
I was a bit irked at the kids when we got to school. As I turned off the car, I noticed that they had taken their shoes off...just to add minutes to my getting them in the door.
In the late afternoon, I stopped by the Toyota dealership to look at Siennas before I picked up the kids and took them to Basha's, the grocery store that Henry loves. He loves shopping in general, but he was aggrieved that there were no balloons for kids, unlike Sunflower and TJ's.
We had Chinese food from Basha's for dinner. Miss R pretty much ate her weight in rice. At least she ate something.
On Saturday, Jeff made pancakes. We then went to the Desert Museum and met up with some old friends from college (Liz and Tye) who have a 16 month old named Sebby. Sebby loved the rock "pit," and Miss R and Henry enjoyed digging in sand. Somehow we managed two toddlers and an infant. We had to take two cars to get there...which highlighted our immediate need for a minivan. We were tempted to buy used, but we've done the cost breakdown and think that we are just going to bite the bullet and get a new Honda Odyssey. I'm just going to assume that this purchase will be an investment that lasts us at least 10 years. But we'll have to get rid of my 21 year old Toyota Corolla.
In the evening, we dropped off the kids at Grammy and Poppy's house and picked up Aunt Carolyn to go to Erin's production of Little Shop of Horrors. It was very good. The female lead was particularly outstanding. The kids behaved for my parents, which was good.
On Sunday, we've stayed around the house. Miss R told Baby A that she loved her several times. She also put on Jeff's orange jacket and was upset b/c she couldn't find her arms in it. Henry had fun being Henry...which meant that he was up to no good several times. The big event of the day was giving Baby A her first bath. As it turns out, her black hair is curly...big beautiful curls. I decided not to comb them out, because they are so darn cute.
The kids are asleep now. I'm going to do some work that's not due until next week. So nice to get ahead!
We had another nanny arrived in the morning. I really liked her. The other ones were fine, but this nanny was excited to hold the baby. She said that her parents had fostered infants when she was growing up.
I was a bit irked at the kids when we got to school. As I turned off the car, I noticed that they had taken their shoes off...just to add minutes to my getting them in the door.
In the late afternoon, I stopped by the Toyota dealership to look at Siennas before I picked up the kids and took them to Basha's, the grocery store that Henry loves. He loves shopping in general, but he was aggrieved that there were no balloons for kids, unlike Sunflower and TJ's.
We had Chinese food from Basha's for dinner. Miss R pretty much ate her weight in rice. At least she ate something.
On Saturday, Jeff made pancakes. We then went to the Desert Museum and met up with some old friends from college (Liz and Tye) who have a 16 month old named Sebby. Sebby loved the rock "pit," and Miss R and Henry enjoyed digging in sand. Somehow we managed two toddlers and an infant. We had to take two cars to get there...which highlighted our immediate need for a minivan. We were tempted to buy used, but we've done the cost breakdown and think that we are just going to bite the bullet and get a new Honda Odyssey. I'm just going to assume that this purchase will be an investment that lasts us at least 10 years. But we'll have to get rid of my 21 year old Toyota Corolla.In the evening, we dropped off the kids at Grammy and Poppy's house and picked up Aunt Carolyn to go to Erin's production of Little Shop of Horrors. It was very good. The female lead was particularly outstanding. The kids behaved for my parents, which was good.
On Sunday, we've stayed around the house. Miss R told Baby A that she loved her several times. She also put on Jeff's orange jacket and was upset b/c she couldn't find her arms in it. Henry had fun being Henry...which meant that he was up to no good several times. The big event of the day was giving Baby A her first bath. As it turns out, her black hair is curly...big beautiful curls. I decided not to comb them out, because they are so darn cute.
The kids are asleep now. I'm going to do some work that's not due until next week. So nice to get ahead!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Life with Three Kids
Tuesday was my birthday (I turned 27...plus a couple years). A nice gal showed up in the morning to nanny. She was a junior high math teacher on break. She seemed to do well with Baby A. I took Henry and Miss R to school and then took my mom to the doctors to get a portocath placement.
While in the waiting room, we ran into the attorney from the AG's office who represents the state and DES. She looked familiar, and I think that she thought we looked a little familiar too. My mom struck up a conversation with her and outright asked if she was an attorney. While my mom had her surgery, I talked to the attorney for awhile. She was waiting for a friend. We didn't really talk about Miss R's case, but upon saying Miss R's name, she knew exactly who I was. I asked her a lot of questions about her job and how she came to be in her profession. What an incredibly inspiring person she is. She didn't set out to work for the state when she went to law school. She worked for a couple years representing parents and kids but was in need of a change. So she started working for the AG's office. She currently has 117 cases on her case load. She spends almost all of her time at the court house. About a quarter of the cases on her load end up going to trial. I asked her if she could tell in advance which parents would make a turn around and which ones would not follow their case plans. She said that she was pretty good at predicting, that working as a lawyer for the families had helped her in that regard. But she said that there are always some surprises. Sometimes a person who you don't think has it in them will manage to "get it" and make significant lifestyle changes to get their kids back.
In the afternoon, Jeff went to Baby A's TDM (team decision meeting). He got some insight into the case. Can't share it here, but I can say that it is a messy situation. Then, I took Baby A to her pediatrician's visit. At 5 days old, she was up 4 ozs on her birth weight, which surprised us. Most babies lose weight the first week. When Dr. Bianchi walked into the room, he was surprised to see me there with another child. As it turns out, his wife is a social worker at UMC. That was nice to hear. His office has been so darn good about getting us into see our new kids at a moment's notice. Overall, Baby A is doing well. We have another weight check scheduled for next week.
Upon arriving home, Henry walked into my office and announced that he wanted "my pi-cuter" (meaning my computer). He's decided that my old reddish laptop is really his. I let him and Miss R watch a DVD on it at their picnic table.
We've been on a low sugar diet/life style change. But for my birthday, Jeff bought "natural" cheetos (which is a bit of an oxymoron). The Twins and I enjoyed eating them. Henry's super cute comment of the evening was putting on my shoes and proclaiming that he was wearing "a glass slipper" (Cinderella reference). He also pretended to be Alison, our family specialist. He grabbed Jeff's notebook and announced, "I'm Alison. I'm going to check the house." And off he went.
Jeff managed to get Baby A to sleep in the crib for awhile. That was great. And, I got a luxurious four hours of straight sleep. It would have been more if I hadn't needed to prep my class for the following day.
On Wednesday, it was Jeff's and my wedding anniversary. It started off with Miss R throwing massive tantrums in the morning that were on par with our former nanny's child. She was upset at having to brush her teeth. She screamed in the car, but quieted down when we neared school.
Then, the nanny who had come in the morning had a childcare emergency in the afternoon, leaving Jeff to have to take care of Baby A unexpectedly. My parents picked up The Twins and dropped them off at our place. Miss R's attorney showed up at 5PM, but had left before I got home at 5:35PM. Basically, the judge ordered him to visit Miss R to make sure everything was fine. So he fulfilled his obligation there. That was OK.
While in his playhouse, Henry asked me if I wanted a taco. Apparently, his imaginary culinary talents have expanded past getting me coffee and a burger.
The Twins protested going to bed. I read them two books but they wanted more. Jeff and I weren't in much of a coddling mood. Henry proceeded to talk to himself for about an hour after going to bed.
I took care of Baby A most of the night. I switched off with Jeff at 5AM. It isn't as bad as it sounds though. I was able to catnap several times as Baby A does take decently long naps in-between bottles and diaper changes. Energy-wise, I'm doing A-OK.
On Thursday morning, Baby A was picked up for her parent visitation. The visit supervisor was supposed to come between 8:15-8:30AM. She showed up at 7:45AM. So of course we weren't yet ready. In addition, she didn't have a car seat, so Jeff had to undo ours and let her borrow it. She had called yesterday afternoon announcing that there would be a visit. She said she was really busy and wanted us to bring the baby to the visit. Mind you, by scheduling a visit in the morning that blew our plans for nanny service out of the water and ensured that I would get little work done. I told Jeff no. Mind you, Alison (our family specialist) also made it clear to CPS at the TDM that based on information provided, it is necessary for our safety that we are not the ones to do the visitation drop offs and pick ups. Period.
Miss R had another fit over teeth brushing (as if this isn't something we do twice a day!). And then she had a fit over me combing her hair. I decided to try to rationalize with her. Yes, rationalize with a two year old. Although I realize the superficial nature of my appeal, it seemed to work. I told her that every night, people get tangles in their hair. When you toss and turn, your hair gets messed up. And tangles look silly. Did we want to go into public looking silly? No. Did we want other people to think we looked silly? No. [That's the part that's superficial b/c at some level, I don't want her to give a darn what other people think.] Anyway, so everyone has to brush their hair every morning to get those tangles out. She calmed down as I explained it to her and suddenly seemed to get that I wasn't trying to torture her with a comb. I asked her if she wanted to go to the mirror to see exactly what I was doing. She was interested. So we went to my full length mirror. Put down a small stood. Had her sit down. And I combed out the tangles. She seemed happy with the result.
The kids were fine in the car. I asked them if they wanted to listen to Myamo. At first they said yes. But then Henry was adamant about listening to the Belly Button CD. He informed me that "We don't like Myamo." After listening to the Belly Button song, they told me that they wanted the 80s CD. Very picky kids.
In the afternoon, I got The Twins at 2:30PM and took them to Dr. Bianchi's office for a weight check. When we arrived in the parking lot, Henry was irked because he really wanted to go to Dr. Bunch's office instead. Henry weighed 29 lbs 4 ozs and was 37.25 inches tall. Miss R weighed 23 lbs 12 ozs and was 33.5 inches tall. Dr. Bianchi isn't too concerned about their weights as Henry has gained well. He doesn't think that Miss R is too far off on her trajectory, which is a short one, but he nevertheless gave me a prescription for an appetite stimulant. And, he sent us to SonoraQuest to get some blood work done on her. During the visit, the following conversation occurred:
HENRY: Dr. Bianchi! Dr. Bianchi!
DR. BIANCHI: Yes.
HENRY: I'm reading a magazine.
Henry announced that he wanted to go to the park in the magazine. As it was a cartoon park, I'm afraid that's going to be difficult. As I talked to Dr. Bianchi, Henry got very loud as he tried to convince Miss R that they were being chased by a bear.
Afterward, we went to SonoraQuest. Two toddlers, one mom, in a waiting room. Henry was fairly obnoxious. He was thrilled at the woman with the baby on her lap. A very pretty baby. Henry introduced himself to the baby, "Hi Baby, I'm Henry." And he told anyone who would listen that "R is here for a blood withdrawal." He climbed on furniture. He tried to bang on the blinds, but I wouldn't let him. I had to contain him for a 1/2 hour. At one point he told me that he working on his "Imagination!" (complete with SpongeBob hand signals from the Imagination episode). Miss R, however, was an angel. She sat in her chair and leafed through magazines. At one point, I had to pull him aside, sit him on my lap, and say "Henry, would you look around? Do you notice how everyone in this room is calm? Notice how they are sitting in their seat and not jumping up and down." He kind of paid attention to me. Then we were called for the withdrawal. I had to hold Miss R as they drew the blood and hope that Henry wouldn't get into too much trouble (e.g., the outlets without covers were a concern).
We went home. Jeff left me with the three kids to go car shopping. Two toddlers and a newborn by myself. It could have been worse. Miss R requested food, claiming she was hungry, which must have been a first. I made them pizza and got them olives and banana. They did well on everything but the olives. Baby A was kind of fussy in comparison to her usual state. One cute moment occurred when the kids arranged the couch pillows on the floor and pretended that they were a cot. Miss R tucked Henry into "bed." Then she wanted him to tuck her into the bed. But Henry had run off with the blanket claiming that he wanted to do the laundry. He finally tucked her into the "bed" and sat down next to her, patting her on the back, and tell her that he was a teacher.
Somehow, I managed to get the kids into bed around 8:45PM with just a little protest. Or maybe it was a lot but I didn't pay attention to it as Baby A needed me to hold her.
Jeff hasn't found our dream car yet. Hopefully, we'll get a new car soon.
Signing off and going to bed...
While in the waiting room, we ran into the attorney from the AG's office who represents the state and DES. She looked familiar, and I think that she thought we looked a little familiar too. My mom struck up a conversation with her and outright asked if she was an attorney. While my mom had her surgery, I talked to the attorney for awhile. She was waiting for a friend. We didn't really talk about Miss R's case, but upon saying Miss R's name, she knew exactly who I was. I asked her a lot of questions about her job and how she came to be in her profession. What an incredibly inspiring person she is. She didn't set out to work for the state when she went to law school. She worked for a couple years representing parents and kids but was in need of a change. So she started working for the AG's office. She currently has 117 cases on her case load. She spends almost all of her time at the court house. About a quarter of the cases on her load end up going to trial. I asked her if she could tell in advance which parents would make a turn around and which ones would not follow their case plans. She said that she was pretty good at predicting, that working as a lawyer for the families had helped her in that regard. But she said that there are always some surprises. Sometimes a person who you don't think has it in them will manage to "get it" and make significant lifestyle changes to get their kids back.
In the afternoon, Jeff went to Baby A's TDM (team decision meeting). He got some insight into the case. Can't share it here, but I can say that it is a messy situation. Then, I took Baby A to her pediatrician's visit. At 5 days old, she was up 4 ozs on her birth weight, which surprised us. Most babies lose weight the first week. When Dr. Bianchi walked into the room, he was surprised to see me there with another child. As it turns out, his wife is a social worker at UMC. That was nice to hear. His office has been so darn good about getting us into see our new kids at a moment's notice. Overall, Baby A is doing well. We have another weight check scheduled for next week.
Upon arriving home, Henry walked into my office and announced that he wanted "my pi-cuter" (meaning my computer). He's decided that my old reddish laptop is really his. I let him and Miss R watch a DVD on it at their picnic table.
We've been on a low sugar diet/life style change. But for my birthday, Jeff bought "natural" cheetos (which is a bit of an oxymoron). The Twins and I enjoyed eating them. Henry's super cute comment of the evening was putting on my shoes and proclaiming that he was wearing "a glass slipper" (Cinderella reference). He also pretended to be Alison, our family specialist. He grabbed Jeff's notebook and announced, "I'm Alison. I'm going to check the house." And off he went.
Jeff managed to get Baby A to sleep in the crib for awhile. That was great. And, I got a luxurious four hours of straight sleep. It would have been more if I hadn't needed to prep my class for the following day.
On Wednesday, it was Jeff's and my wedding anniversary. It started off with Miss R throwing massive tantrums in the morning that were on par with our former nanny's child. She was upset at having to brush her teeth. She screamed in the car, but quieted down when we neared school.
Then, the nanny who had come in the morning had a childcare emergency in the afternoon, leaving Jeff to have to take care of Baby A unexpectedly. My parents picked up The Twins and dropped them off at our place. Miss R's attorney showed up at 5PM, but had left before I got home at 5:35PM. Basically, the judge ordered him to visit Miss R to make sure everything was fine. So he fulfilled his obligation there. That was OK.
While in his playhouse, Henry asked me if I wanted a taco. Apparently, his imaginary culinary talents have expanded past getting me coffee and a burger.
The Twins protested going to bed. I read them two books but they wanted more. Jeff and I weren't in much of a coddling mood. Henry proceeded to talk to himself for about an hour after going to bed.
I took care of Baby A most of the night. I switched off with Jeff at 5AM. It isn't as bad as it sounds though. I was able to catnap several times as Baby A does take decently long naps in-between bottles and diaper changes. Energy-wise, I'm doing A-OK.
On Thursday morning, Baby A was picked up for her parent visitation. The visit supervisor was supposed to come between 8:15-8:30AM. She showed up at 7:45AM. So of course we weren't yet ready. In addition, she didn't have a car seat, so Jeff had to undo ours and let her borrow it. She had called yesterday afternoon announcing that there would be a visit. She said she was really busy and wanted us to bring the baby to the visit. Mind you, by scheduling a visit in the morning that blew our plans for nanny service out of the water and ensured that I would get little work done. I told Jeff no. Mind you, Alison (our family specialist) also made it clear to CPS at the TDM that based on information provided, it is necessary for our safety that we are not the ones to do the visitation drop offs and pick ups. Period.
Miss R had another fit over teeth brushing (as if this isn't something we do twice a day!). And then she had a fit over me combing her hair. I decided to try to rationalize with her. Yes, rationalize with a two year old. Although I realize the superficial nature of my appeal, it seemed to work. I told her that every night, people get tangles in their hair. When you toss and turn, your hair gets messed up. And tangles look silly. Did we want to go into public looking silly? No. Did we want other people to think we looked silly? No. [That's the part that's superficial b/c at some level, I don't want her to give a darn what other people think.] Anyway, so everyone has to brush their hair every morning to get those tangles out. She calmed down as I explained it to her and suddenly seemed to get that I wasn't trying to torture her with a comb. I asked her if she wanted to go to the mirror to see exactly what I was doing. She was interested. So we went to my full length mirror. Put down a small stood. Had her sit down. And I combed out the tangles. She seemed happy with the result.
The kids were fine in the car. I asked them if they wanted to listen to Myamo. At first they said yes. But then Henry was adamant about listening to the Belly Button CD. He informed me that "We don't like Myamo." After listening to the Belly Button song, they told me that they wanted the 80s CD. Very picky kids.
In the afternoon, I got The Twins at 2:30PM and took them to Dr. Bianchi's office for a weight check. When we arrived in the parking lot, Henry was irked because he really wanted to go to Dr. Bunch's office instead. Henry weighed 29 lbs 4 ozs and was 37.25 inches tall. Miss R weighed 23 lbs 12 ozs and was 33.5 inches tall. Dr. Bianchi isn't too concerned about their weights as Henry has gained well. He doesn't think that Miss R is too far off on her trajectory, which is a short one, but he nevertheless gave me a prescription for an appetite stimulant. And, he sent us to SonoraQuest to get some blood work done on her. During the visit, the following conversation occurred:
HENRY: Dr. Bianchi! Dr. Bianchi!
DR. BIANCHI: Yes.
HENRY: I'm reading a magazine.
Henry announced that he wanted to go to the park in the magazine. As it was a cartoon park, I'm afraid that's going to be difficult. As I talked to Dr. Bianchi, Henry got very loud as he tried to convince Miss R that they were being chased by a bear.
Afterward, we went to SonoraQuest. Two toddlers, one mom, in a waiting room. Henry was fairly obnoxious. He was thrilled at the woman with the baby on her lap. A very pretty baby. Henry introduced himself to the baby, "Hi Baby, I'm Henry." And he told anyone who would listen that "R is here for a blood withdrawal." He climbed on furniture. He tried to bang on the blinds, but I wouldn't let him. I had to contain him for a 1/2 hour. At one point he told me that he working on his "Imagination!" (complete with SpongeBob hand signals from the Imagination episode). Miss R, however, was an angel. She sat in her chair and leafed through magazines. At one point, I had to pull him aside, sit him on my lap, and say "Henry, would you look around? Do you notice how everyone in this room is calm? Notice how they are sitting in their seat and not jumping up and down." He kind of paid attention to me. Then we were called for the withdrawal. I had to hold Miss R as they drew the blood and hope that Henry wouldn't get into too much trouble (e.g., the outlets without covers were a concern).
We went home. Jeff left me with the three kids to go car shopping. Two toddlers and a newborn by myself. It could have been worse. Miss R requested food, claiming she was hungry, which must have been a first. I made them pizza and got them olives and banana. They did well on everything but the olives. Baby A was kind of fussy in comparison to her usual state. One cute moment occurred when the kids arranged the couch pillows on the floor and pretended that they were a cot. Miss R tucked Henry into "bed." Then she wanted him to tuck her into the bed. But Henry had run off with the blanket claiming that he wanted to do the laundry. He finally tucked her into the "bed" and sat down next to her, patting her on the back, and tell her that he was a teacher.
Somehow, I managed to get the kids into bed around 8:45PM with just a little protest. Or maybe it was a lot but I didn't pay attention to it as Baby A needed me to hold her.
Jeff hasn't found our dream car yet. Hopefully, we'll get a new car soon.
Signing off and going to bed...
Monday, March 8, 2010
tantrums, tantrums everywhere
Things are still going well with Baby A. It seems she is actually getting easier to take care of as things go along, knock on wood. Today we had a nanny from a service take care of her. She fed her and changed her a couple times but for the most part she slept. She slept for 4 hours this afternoon.
We had a visit from our foster agency rep today as well. Nothing really new there, just some paperwork to fill out. Still no word on our certification from the court which is holding up the adoption of Miss R.
Both Henry and Miss R seem to be reacting to the addition of Baby A. Their behavior toward Baby A is fine, both are gentle and nice, at least for now. However, I think there has been a surge in timeouts. Miss R is being less cooperative and very sensitive. She was already sensitive but now it doesn't take much to send her into a crying fit. Henry is always uncooperative but it seems a little worse the last couple days. He has added the wonderful phrase "shut up" to his vocab. Amazing how they can immediately pick up on things you don't want them to.
This morning Kate had her hands full dropping them off for daycare. Miss R had a fit when Kate pulled her out of the car because she wanted to buckle her seat belt. Henry then decided he wanted to buckle his and Miss R's seat belt. When told no he thrashed his head back and forth and hit it against the wall of the car. Kate wasn't sympathetic.
On arriving at daycare Henry walked up to the counter at the front desk and said "Can I see a menu please?" He has been very much into play food recently. In his class Kate witnessed him playing kitchen with another boy and he has been pretend eating at home. If only he would eat for real. We are starting him on prevacid again to see if he is still dealing with reflux issues.
In the afternoon today Miss R and Henry went to Grammy and Poppy's house via Barnes and Noble. I didn't pick them up and didn't get a full report from Kate so I'm not sure how that went.
In the afternoon I took Baby A for a walk. I bundled her up and put her in our jogging stroller. She didn't stir the whole walk which was probably 40 minutes and included the stroller being bumped several times by playing dogs. She continued to sleep through dishes being put away and me making dessert with a hand mixer. I think she could sleep on a construction site which is good with loud mouthed Henry around.
At this point everyone is sleeping but me. Baby A is in her crib so I might try to get a few z's while I can. She hasn't slept for more than 10 minutes in the crib before now but is doing well tonight. Again, knock on wood.
We had a visit from our foster agency rep today as well. Nothing really new there, just some paperwork to fill out. Still no word on our certification from the court which is holding up the adoption of Miss R.
Both Henry and Miss R seem to be reacting to the addition of Baby A. Their behavior toward Baby A is fine, both are gentle and nice, at least for now. However, I think there has been a surge in timeouts. Miss R is being less cooperative and very sensitive. She was already sensitive but now it doesn't take much to send her into a crying fit. Henry is always uncooperative but it seems a little worse the last couple days. He has added the wonderful phrase "shut up" to his vocab. Amazing how they can immediately pick up on things you don't want them to.
This morning Kate had her hands full dropping them off for daycare. Miss R had a fit when Kate pulled her out of the car because she wanted to buckle her seat belt. Henry then decided he wanted to buckle his and Miss R's seat belt. When told no he thrashed his head back and forth and hit it against the wall of the car. Kate wasn't sympathetic.
On arriving at daycare Henry walked up to the counter at the front desk and said "Can I see a menu please?" He has been very much into play food recently. In his class Kate witnessed him playing kitchen with another boy and he has been pretend eating at home. If only he would eat for real. We are starting him on prevacid again to see if he is still dealing with reflux issues.
In the afternoon today Miss R and Henry went to Grammy and Poppy's house via Barnes and Noble. I didn't pick them up and didn't get a full report from Kate so I'm not sure how that went.
In the afternoon I took Baby A for a walk. I bundled her up and put her in our jogging stroller. She didn't stir the whole walk which was probably 40 minutes and included the stroller being bumped several times by playing dogs. She continued to sleep through dishes being put away and me making dessert with a hand mixer. I think she could sleep on a construction site which is good with loud mouthed Henry around.
At this point everyone is sleeping but me. Baby A is in her crib so I might try to get a few z's while I can. She hasn't slept for more than 10 minutes in the crib before now but is doing well tonight. Again, knock on wood.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
"And the crowd goes wild!!!"
Henry woke up from his nap before Miss R did. It was very rainy outside. So Jeff let him watch his Land Before Time video. When Miss R got up, I decided to take her to Babies R Us to get her some big girl panties, since she was doing such a great job with her potty training. I think that she had fun having some one-on-one time.
When we returned, Henry was watching a Tinkerbell movie and rejecting his dinner. Miss R did not do a great job on her dinner either. Henry and I played ball again. Well, I picked up balls and Henry threw them. As with this morning, he yelled "And the crowd goes wild!!!" when he made some good throws. He's been practicing accuracy and distance.
Jeff got the kids to bed. Henry told Jeff that he didn't want to have sweet dreams. About half-an-hour after Jeff left the kids, Henry came out to the living room and announced that he'd had a good sleep. Jeff didn't buy it and put him back to bed.
Baby A is snoozing as I work. I'm taking the first baby shift tonight. I'll hopefully be able to let Jeff have a decent amount before I need to sleep.
We have a nanny coming to the house tomorrow from one of the big agencies in town. Hopefully, this works out. We'll be using the nanny service for the rest of the week. I'm on spring break the following week, so I don't know if we'll use a nanny or not. I suppose that it depends on how well we like the service. Henry and Miss R will definitely be going to daycare that week. They need the routine. I was thinking of spending a good part of the week getting the house in order. If Baby A continues to be as easy as she has been, I might not need any extra help. We'll see.
When we returned, Henry was watching a Tinkerbell movie and rejecting his dinner. Miss R did not do a great job on her dinner either. Henry and I played ball again. Well, I picked up balls and Henry threw them. As with this morning, he yelled "And the crowd goes wild!!!" when he made some good throws. He's been practicing accuracy and distance.
Jeff got the kids to bed. Henry told Jeff that he didn't want to have sweet dreams. About half-an-hour after Jeff left the kids, Henry came out to the living room and announced that he'd had a good sleep. Jeff didn't buy it and put him back to bed.
Baby A is snoozing as I work. I'm taking the first baby shift tonight. I'll hopefully be able to let Jeff have a decent amount before I need to sleep.
We have a nanny coming to the house tomorrow from one of the big agencies in town. Hopefully, this works out. We'll be using the nanny service for the rest of the week. I'm on spring break the following week, so I don't know if we'll use a nanny or not. I suppose that it depends on how well we like the service. Henry and Miss R will definitely be going to daycare that week. They need the routine. I was thinking of spending a good part of the week getting the house in order. If Baby A continues to be as easy as she has been, I might not need any extra help. We'll see.
New Addition
On Wednesday, Jeff picked up the kids at daycare and took them for a walk with the dogs. When I arrived home, everyone was at the table just getting started on dinner. I asked Miss R who her friends were at school. She said, "Cassie." Henry replied, "Miss Cassie's not a friend. She's a teacher." I was a bit impressed by his distinction, but I told him that Miss R could choose whomever she wanted to be her friend.
On Thursday, we went to Swenson's with my mom for a little celebration dinner. My mom received the results back from her tests the day before, and she's eligible to do chemo. That's good news. Henry was...well...a terror at dinner. Absolutely unruly. He managed to bang his head a couple times on the table with his shenanigans. Jeff and I had met my parents and the kids at Swenson's. Poppy had been the one to pick them up at daycare. He was told that Henry had gotten into trouble for locking other kids into the bathroom. A prankster at 2.5 years old. Great. I seem many visits to the principal's office throughout his schooling.
On Friday morning, I asked Miss Stephanie about Henry's activities. She didn't know anything about them so it must have been something that he did in the afternoon. I also asked her about how Henry's situation would be handled when he turned 3 as he turns 3 (actual age, not adjusted) in April and he still isn't potty trained. Apparently, they have one 3 year old room devoted to 3s who aren't potty trained yet. I asked her if she thought he was ready (in the back of my mind, I was thinking about his adjusted age and what would be best), and she said that she thought he would be. He's started talking a lot in the last couple months and she could finally see what I meant when I said he was a talker. She also thinks that he gets bored easily and could use the challenge.
Miss R stayed home on Friday b/c she'd been sick with a cough and slight fever. Jeff gave her a nebulizing treatment in the morning. To my surprise, Miss R was still at the breakfast when I got back home. Our telephone rang but it was out of easy reach. Then, my cell phone went off. It was Maria from A Place To Call Home.
They needed a foster family for a little baby who was born on Wednesday. She wanted to know if we were interested. I was surprised by the call b/c I didn't think that we were on the "active" list. I talked with Jeff, and we decided that we were willing to give it a whirl, provided the baby was not medically fragile. Although we originally got into foster care thinking that we'd take care of preemies, we realize that with Henry's current curiosity and unwillingness to follow rules, our home would not be a great place for a medically fragile child at the moment. I can just see Henry pulling on a tube inappropriately or something. I called Maria, and she said that it was a healthy baby girl. The bio mom has had prior involvement with the system, which is why the baby was being taken away from her at the hospital. We said that we were willing. I strongly suspect that they wouldn't have called us unless there was a strong need given that we weren't even listed as active seekers.
In the late afternoon, the CPS investigator dropped off the baby girl at 2 days old. She has a full head of hair...about as much as Henry did at 18 months adjusted...maybe more. I can't say her name on this blog for privacy reasons per CPS regulations, but I can say that it is a very long name and neither we nor anyone at CPS knows how to pronounce it. So we are calling her a shortened version of her name based on the first couple syllables. On this blog, we'll call her Baby A. The investigator didn't have a lot of information about Baby A as the case just fell in her lap Friday morning. Baby A weighed 6 lbs 4 ozs at birth. There's no father listed on the case. The mother just had her rights terminated to Baby A's sibling in October. I asked if that sibling's foster parents and/or adoptive parents had been contacted in regards to Baby A, and she said that they had not yet done that. In regards to the sibling, the sibling had been placed with bio family, but it didn't work out, so the investigators did not seek a kinship placement for Baby A. We'll find out more about the case on Tuesday when we attend the TDM (team decision meeting), which is where the bio parent(s) hash things out with the CPS investigators before the case goes to Court and charges are formally brought forth. Given that Baby A has a sibling, I'd assume that it is quite possible that she ends up being with us for a short time. We'll see.
Jeff commented on how Baby A seems so small, and yet she's substantially bigger than Henry when he came home weighing 4 lbs 13 ozs.
Miss R was absolutely wonderful about Baby A. I've explained that Baby A is a friend who will be staying with us for awhile. Because she's a baby, she'll need Miss R to show her the ropes. And Miss R seems up to that challenge. She really hasn't seemed jealous at all. Perhaps she remembers how we did respite with Miss A, a toddler, who stayed just for an evening. After the investigator left, Jeff picked up Henry. It was interesting trying to juggle a newborn and a toddler who needed to use the potty. I don't know how single moms do it.
Jeff explained to Henry how we were having a baby visit us. As they came through the door, Henry ran into the living room to see our visitor. And he was delighted at having a baby nearby. He even remembered her name...well, nickname...that Jeff had told him.
I'm probably going to jink our good fortune by writing this down, but so far, I can't even begin to convey how much easier this newborn is than Henry around his due date. I know that new parents with full-term babies think that they have it rough because they have to get up every few hours to fed the baby (gasp!). But when we compare that to Henry's situation, it is heavenly. The big challenge has not so much to do with the baby per se, but making sure that someone has an eye on Henry the Troublemaker. Baby A sleeps. She makes a noise when she wants to eat. We change her. She drinks her bottle. Then she falls asleep again. Her cycle is a bit shorted than the usual baby feeding of every three hours. She eats every 1.5-2 hours or so. But she sucks down her ounce in about 5-10 minutes, which is a far cry from our feeding marathons with Henry where it would take an hour plus to get an ounce down him. Not to mention Henry's insomnia caused by that devil's brew called Reglan that made it so that Henry only slept 1-3 hours per day (not straight sleep) those first several weeks at home.
Jeff on several occasions has described Henry's home coming as one of the toughest nights of our lives (only to be outdone by a couple nights that took place the previous 3.5 months of Henry's NICU stay). The accumulation of 109 days of extreme stress and sleep deprivation impacts a homecoming. And it isn't as though a preemie parent gets to pretend that the previous 3.5 months didn't happen and that at the due date, the preemie is just like a full-term newborn. I know that a lot of people don't understand that the long-term risks and consequences of prematurity, but they are a fact. Preemies, especially micropreemies, have more legitimate concerns surrounding their survival and development than full-term kids. It was hard knowing that Henry only had a 14%-22% chance of "Survival Without Moderate to Severe Neurodevelopmental Impairment" according to the NIH predictions. It was hard having to lug the oxygen canister everywhere those first four months at home. Trying to change Henry's clothes while ensuring important tubes didn't get disconnected. Having several appointments a week was no picnic. It was, of course, all worth it, and we'd do it again if we had to. It still makes me a bit sad to think of what Henry had to endure in the NICU (picks and prods on extremely sensitive skin, the feeding challenges, the surgeries, etc.). We are incredibly proud of Henry and his fortitude. And we are incredibly thankful that we had the kind of family support that we did, especially that first year.
Jeff and I are going to try to figure out a strategy for getting Baby A to sleep in a crib when she wants to snooze. Friday night, we held her all night long. I held her until 3:10AM. Jeff wasn't on baby duty BUT he was on building a crib duty until 1:15AM. He got 2 hours of shut eye and then she cried. He stayed up with her from 3:15-6:45AM. I woke up and took over. Fortunately, the kids didn't get up until 8:15AM, so he squeaked in another 1.5 hours of sleep.
I didn't mind staying up Friday night. I got to watch a few Cold Case episodes, which was fun. But it would be nice if in-between feeds at night, Baby A snoozed in the crib. It would be better for both our mental and physical well-beings! We know that we *can* push our bodies to the limits as we did with Henry, but we are hoping that we don't have to.
Another remarkable thing about Baby A is the unremarkable amount of spit up that she produces. A huge pet peeve of the preemie parent whose child has medically diagnosed reflux is to have other parents say "oh, all children spit up" when one mentions the reflux problem. Hearing that phrase pretty much made me want to hit some people upside the head. Baby spit does not equal reflux (true medically diagnosed reflux). Baby A has spit up a couple times. It hasn't been profuse, which is so nice. I hope that she continues to tolerate her formula.
I was told by a CPS worker that Baby A did receive some breast milk from her bio mom, so I'm glad that her bio mom was able to give her that gift. She came home on Similac, and it seems OK so far. That too is a nice change from our previous experience of Henry being allergic to cow's milk and soy-based formula used as a fortifier.
On Saturday, we stayed at home. The kids ran around in their night shirts for most of the day. Time seemed to fly by. Jeff got out some of Henry's old equipment. Henry and Miss R took turns in the bouncy chair. Miss R held Baby A for the first time. She also "helped" with diaper changes. Henry had no interest in helping with diaper changes. I asked him, and he said "No." A person from the Blake Foundation stopped by to give Baby A a developmental evaluation. She said that because Baby A has no siblings receiving services and is an infant, the Blake Foundation will be the group doing the monthly evaluations. I was glad about that b/c La Fronterra, who was in charge of Miss R's case, completely dropped the ball on evaluating Miss R. I'd rather not have to deal with a group that gets paid by the state and does nothing.
On our evening walk, Henry freaked out Luke, a very large Rhodesian Ridgeback. He gave him a big hug and said "I love you!" I guess Luke didn't know what to make of that. At the wash, Henry pretended the slope was a "waterfall."
At some point yesterday, Jeff asked Henry if he wanted juice. Henry pointed to the OJ and said that he wanted the one from Basha's. Jeff asked him how he knew that the OJ was from Basha's. Henry pointed to the word "Basha's" on the carton.
In the evening, Henry was in a particularly imaginative mood. Before bed, he was trying to convince Miss R that the benches that he'd stacked up on the picnic table were a dragon and they had to hide inside of the playhouse. The kids had fun throwing receiving blankets in the air. Henry pretended his blank was a "whip." Jeff tells me that Henry was making a Snoopy reference.
Jeff took the baby shift from 11PM-5AM. He said that he got the chance to doze before 2AM, but then Baby A wanted to eat, eat, eat.
This morning (Sunday), I woke up at 5AM, surprised that Jeff had left me sleep for 5 hours straight (I have a wonderful husband). He slept from 5-9:15AM, but had a couple interruptions from The Twins. Miss R wanted to get up at 5:15AM. I told her she had to sleep, but let her into the bed with Jeff, which did the trick. She took up my spot on the bed and looked very content. Henry woke up around 6:30AM or so. He wanted Daddy. I let him into bed with Jeff, but unlike Miss R, he was jabbering, so I had to remove him and eventually carted him to the living room. He decided he wanted breakfast. I was going to make him waffles but he was adamant about eating a corndog. After breakfast, I let him watch Elmo's Potty Time. He enjoyed watching Elmo, but I don't think that the message of the video left much of an impression.
Baby A was easy going. She ate, slept, and required a couple diaper changes. Jeff and Miss R got up after 9AM. Miss R was in her underware all night (we forgot to put on a pull-up) and she did not have an accident. Amazing! We are so impressed with her potty skills. Hopefully, she'll be pull-up free in a couple months. Because she was such a big girl, I plan to take her to the store and buy her whatever panties she wants.
At some point, I asked Henry what he wanted to do today. He said, "park." I said, "Do you want to go to the park with the roller slide in Marana?" He said, "No, the other park." I said, "The park in Oro Valley?" He replied, "E.D.O." I was shocked. How does he remember these things? C.D.O. is near the park in Oro Valley.
Something clicked for Henry when it came to throwing balls. He seems to get the concept of throwing in a more sophisticated way than before when it comes to aim and force. He spent some of the morning trying to throw a rubber basketball through the tunnel on the fourth level of the cat tree. And then he climbed into his ball pit and started throwing balls from the pit into the playhouse window. His aim was actually quite good, and he has his father's and grandfather's ambidextrous abilities. His left hand throw is just as good as his right. After some good throws, Henry yelled "And the crowd goes wild!!!"
At 11:30AM, Jeff took Henry and Miss R to the park in Marana. They only had the opportunity to play for 10 minutes. Then, it started to ran. Henry recommended to Jeff that they go to Sunflower. But as they approached the Ina/Thornydale intersection (Sunflower not in view), Henry announced that he didn't want to go to Sunflower, he wanted to go to the McDonald's with the play equipment. Jeff decided not to take him there, because of our last experience at a McD's when Henry refused to get off the equipment and wouldn't come down.
When they came home, it was time for a nap. The Twins didn't go down without a fight. Both had typical toddler tantrums. Henry's tantrum was complete with feet stamping and his mouth in an upside down sad face.
Alright. I have a little bit of time before the kids get up. I'm going to head out to Babies R Us for supplies. Jeff has Baby A on his shoulder. They look very cute together.
On Thursday, we went to Swenson's with my mom for a little celebration dinner. My mom received the results back from her tests the day before, and she's eligible to do chemo. That's good news. Henry was...well...a terror at dinner. Absolutely unruly. He managed to bang his head a couple times on the table with his shenanigans. Jeff and I had met my parents and the kids at Swenson's. Poppy had been the one to pick them up at daycare. He was told that Henry had gotten into trouble for locking other kids into the bathroom. A prankster at 2.5 years old. Great. I seem many visits to the principal's office throughout his schooling.
On Friday morning, I asked Miss Stephanie about Henry's activities. She didn't know anything about them so it must have been something that he did in the afternoon. I also asked her about how Henry's situation would be handled when he turned 3 as he turns 3 (actual age, not adjusted) in April and he still isn't potty trained. Apparently, they have one 3 year old room devoted to 3s who aren't potty trained yet. I asked her if she thought he was ready (in the back of my mind, I was thinking about his adjusted age and what would be best), and she said that she thought he would be. He's started talking a lot in the last couple months and she could finally see what I meant when I said he was a talker. She also thinks that he gets bored easily and could use the challenge.
Miss R stayed home on Friday b/c she'd been sick with a cough and slight fever. Jeff gave her a nebulizing treatment in the morning. To my surprise, Miss R was still at the breakfast when I got back home. Our telephone rang but it was out of easy reach. Then, my cell phone went off. It was Maria from A Place To Call Home.
They needed a foster family for a little baby who was born on Wednesday. She wanted to know if we were interested. I was surprised by the call b/c I didn't think that we were on the "active" list. I talked with Jeff, and we decided that we were willing to give it a whirl, provided the baby was not medically fragile. Although we originally got into foster care thinking that we'd take care of preemies, we realize that with Henry's current curiosity and unwillingness to follow rules, our home would not be a great place for a medically fragile child at the moment. I can just see Henry pulling on a tube inappropriately or something. I called Maria, and she said that it was a healthy baby girl. The bio mom has had prior involvement with the system, which is why the baby was being taken away from her at the hospital. We said that we were willing. I strongly suspect that they wouldn't have called us unless there was a strong need given that we weren't even listed as active seekers.
In the late afternoon, the CPS investigator dropped off the baby girl at 2 days old. She has a full head of hair...about as much as Henry did at 18 months adjusted...maybe more. I can't say her name on this blog for privacy reasons per CPS regulations, but I can say that it is a very long name and neither we nor anyone at CPS knows how to pronounce it. So we are calling her a shortened version of her name based on the first couple syllables. On this blog, we'll call her Baby A. The investigator didn't have a lot of information about Baby A as the case just fell in her lap Friday morning. Baby A weighed 6 lbs 4 ozs at birth. There's no father listed on the case. The mother just had her rights terminated to Baby A's sibling in October. I asked if that sibling's foster parents and/or adoptive parents had been contacted in regards to Baby A, and she said that they had not yet done that. In regards to the sibling, the sibling had been placed with bio family, but it didn't work out, so the investigators did not seek a kinship placement for Baby A. We'll find out more about the case on Tuesday when we attend the TDM (team decision meeting), which is where the bio parent(s) hash things out with the CPS investigators before the case goes to Court and charges are formally brought forth. Given that Baby A has a sibling, I'd assume that it is quite possible that she ends up being with us for a short time. We'll see.
Jeff commented on how Baby A seems so small, and yet she's substantially bigger than Henry when he came home weighing 4 lbs 13 ozs.
Miss R was absolutely wonderful about Baby A. I've explained that Baby A is a friend who will be staying with us for awhile. Because she's a baby, she'll need Miss R to show her the ropes. And Miss R seems up to that challenge. She really hasn't seemed jealous at all. Perhaps she remembers how we did respite with Miss A, a toddler, who stayed just for an evening. After the investigator left, Jeff picked up Henry. It was interesting trying to juggle a newborn and a toddler who needed to use the potty. I don't know how single moms do it.
Jeff explained to Henry how we were having a baby visit us. As they came through the door, Henry ran into the living room to see our visitor. And he was delighted at having a baby nearby. He even remembered her name...well, nickname...that Jeff had told him.
I'm probably going to jink our good fortune by writing this down, but so far, I can't even begin to convey how much easier this newborn is than Henry around his due date. I know that new parents with full-term babies think that they have it rough because they have to get up every few hours to fed the baby (gasp!). But when we compare that to Henry's situation, it is heavenly. The big challenge has not so much to do with the baby per se, but making sure that someone has an eye on Henry the Troublemaker. Baby A sleeps. She makes a noise when she wants to eat. We change her. She drinks her bottle. Then she falls asleep again. Her cycle is a bit shorted than the usual baby feeding of every three hours. She eats every 1.5-2 hours or so. But she sucks down her ounce in about 5-10 minutes, which is a far cry from our feeding marathons with Henry where it would take an hour plus to get an ounce down him. Not to mention Henry's insomnia caused by that devil's brew called Reglan that made it so that Henry only slept 1-3 hours per day (not straight sleep) those first several weeks at home.
Jeff on several occasions has described Henry's home coming as one of the toughest nights of our lives (only to be outdone by a couple nights that took place the previous 3.5 months of Henry's NICU stay). The accumulation of 109 days of extreme stress and sleep deprivation impacts a homecoming. And it isn't as though a preemie parent gets to pretend that the previous 3.5 months didn't happen and that at the due date, the preemie is just like a full-term newborn. I know that a lot of people don't understand that the long-term risks and consequences of prematurity, but they are a fact. Preemies, especially micropreemies, have more legitimate concerns surrounding their survival and development than full-term kids. It was hard knowing that Henry only had a 14%-22% chance of "Survival Without Moderate to Severe Neurodevelopmental Impairment" according to the NIH predictions. It was hard having to lug the oxygen canister everywhere those first four months at home. Trying to change Henry's clothes while ensuring important tubes didn't get disconnected. Having several appointments a week was no picnic. It was, of course, all worth it, and we'd do it again if we had to. It still makes me a bit sad to think of what Henry had to endure in the NICU (picks and prods on extremely sensitive skin, the feeding challenges, the surgeries, etc.). We are incredibly proud of Henry and his fortitude. And we are incredibly thankful that we had the kind of family support that we did, especially that first year.
Jeff and I are going to try to figure out a strategy for getting Baby A to sleep in a crib when she wants to snooze. Friday night, we held her all night long. I held her until 3:10AM. Jeff wasn't on baby duty BUT he was on building a crib duty until 1:15AM. He got 2 hours of shut eye and then she cried. He stayed up with her from 3:15-6:45AM. I woke up and took over. Fortunately, the kids didn't get up until 8:15AM, so he squeaked in another 1.5 hours of sleep.
I didn't mind staying up Friday night. I got to watch a few Cold Case episodes, which was fun. But it would be nice if in-between feeds at night, Baby A snoozed in the crib. It would be better for both our mental and physical well-beings! We know that we *can* push our bodies to the limits as we did with Henry, but we are hoping that we don't have to.
Another remarkable thing about Baby A is the unremarkable amount of spit up that she produces. A huge pet peeve of the preemie parent whose child has medically diagnosed reflux is to have other parents say "oh, all children spit up" when one mentions the reflux problem. Hearing that phrase pretty much made me want to hit some people upside the head. Baby spit does not equal reflux (true medically diagnosed reflux). Baby A has spit up a couple times. It hasn't been profuse, which is so nice. I hope that she continues to tolerate her formula.
I was told by a CPS worker that Baby A did receive some breast milk from her bio mom, so I'm glad that her bio mom was able to give her that gift. She came home on Similac, and it seems OK so far. That too is a nice change from our previous experience of Henry being allergic to cow's milk and soy-based formula used as a fortifier.
On Saturday, we stayed at home. The kids ran around in their night shirts for most of the day. Time seemed to fly by. Jeff got out some of Henry's old equipment. Henry and Miss R took turns in the bouncy chair. Miss R held Baby A for the first time. She also "helped" with diaper changes. Henry had no interest in helping with diaper changes. I asked him, and he said "No." A person from the Blake Foundation stopped by to give Baby A a developmental evaluation. She said that because Baby A has no siblings receiving services and is an infant, the Blake Foundation will be the group doing the monthly evaluations. I was glad about that b/c La Fronterra, who was in charge of Miss R's case, completely dropped the ball on evaluating Miss R. I'd rather not have to deal with a group that gets paid by the state and does nothing.
On our evening walk, Henry freaked out Luke, a very large Rhodesian Ridgeback. He gave him a big hug and said "I love you!" I guess Luke didn't know what to make of that. At the wash, Henry pretended the slope was a "waterfall."
At some point yesterday, Jeff asked Henry if he wanted juice. Henry pointed to the OJ and said that he wanted the one from Basha's. Jeff asked him how he knew that the OJ was from Basha's. Henry pointed to the word "Basha's" on the carton.
In the evening, Henry was in a particularly imaginative mood. Before bed, he was trying to convince Miss R that the benches that he'd stacked up on the picnic table were a dragon and they had to hide inside of the playhouse. The kids had fun throwing receiving blankets in the air. Henry pretended his blank was a "whip." Jeff tells me that Henry was making a Snoopy reference.
Jeff took the baby shift from 11PM-5AM. He said that he got the chance to doze before 2AM, but then Baby A wanted to eat, eat, eat.
This morning (Sunday), I woke up at 5AM, surprised that Jeff had left me sleep for 5 hours straight (I have a wonderful husband). He slept from 5-9:15AM, but had a couple interruptions from The Twins. Miss R wanted to get up at 5:15AM. I told her she had to sleep, but let her into the bed with Jeff, which did the trick. She took up my spot on the bed and looked very content. Henry woke up around 6:30AM or so. He wanted Daddy. I let him into bed with Jeff, but unlike Miss R, he was jabbering, so I had to remove him and eventually carted him to the living room. He decided he wanted breakfast. I was going to make him waffles but he was adamant about eating a corndog. After breakfast, I let him watch Elmo's Potty Time. He enjoyed watching Elmo, but I don't think that the message of the video left much of an impression.
Baby A was easy going. She ate, slept, and required a couple diaper changes. Jeff and Miss R got up after 9AM. Miss R was in her underware all night (we forgot to put on a pull-up) and she did not have an accident. Amazing! We are so impressed with her potty skills. Hopefully, she'll be pull-up free in a couple months. Because she was such a big girl, I plan to take her to the store and buy her whatever panties she wants.
At some point, I asked Henry what he wanted to do today. He said, "park." I said, "Do you want to go to the park with the roller slide in Marana?" He said, "No, the other park." I said, "The park in Oro Valley?" He replied, "E.D.O." I was shocked. How does he remember these things? C.D.O. is near the park in Oro Valley.
Something clicked for Henry when it came to throwing balls. He seems to get the concept of throwing in a more sophisticated way than before when it comes to aim and force. He spent some of the morning trying to throw a rubber basketball through the tunnel on the fourth level of the cat tree. And then he climbed into his ball pit and started throwing balls from the pit into the playhouse window. His aim was actually quite good, and he has his father's and grandfather's ambidextrous abilities. His left hand throw is just as good as his right. After some good throws, Henry yelled "And the crowd goes wild!!!"
At 11:30AM, Jeff took Henry and Miss R to the park in Marana. They only had the opportunity to play for 10 minutes. Then, it started to ran. Henry recommended to Jeff that they go to Sunflower. But as they approached the Ina/Thornydale intersection (Sunflower not in view), Henry announced that he didn't want to go to Sunflower, he wanted to go to the McDonald's with the play equipment. Jeff decided not to take him there, because of our last experience at a McD's when Henry refused to get off the equipment and wouldn't come down.
When they came home, it was time for a nap. The Twins didn't go down without a fight. Both had typical toddler tantrums. Henry's tantrum was complete with feet stamping and his mouth in an upside down sad face.
Alright. I have a little bit of time before the kids get up. I'm going to head out to Babies R Us for supplies. Jeff has Baby A on his shoulder. They look very cute together.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Henry's Developmental Evaluation
On Tuesday, Henry and I dropped off Miss R at school. Henry stayed with me as it was his "big" evaluation day. We dropped off Miss R at 9:15AM. With some time to spare, we went to The Glass Onion so that Henry could try a No Yoko, the breakfast that he hears me ordering in the morning. So common is this order that the kids pretend to order No Yokos on their toy cell phones. He enjoyed coloring in a coloring book at the coffee shop. He enjoyed walking around. He set off their synthesizer (luckily few people were in the shop). He ate some of the No Yoko, but he wasn't enthralled with the egg whites and avocado.
We went across town for the school district evaluation of Henry's needs. As I've mentioned before, at age 3, early intervention cases are transferred from the state's early intervention program and handled by the school districts, if a continued need is established. I was a bit disappointed to hear that the OT decided not to give an evaluation b/c Henry scored well on the over-the-phone assessment done by his early intervention coordinator. I thought that particular test was overly vague and I confess that I don't trust the developmental coordinator's judgment. Because he was perfectly average on that test (based on the assumption of him being evaluated as a three year old, even though he was probably 2 yrs 4 months adjusted when I gave the answers), the OT decided it wasn't worth the time. She said that his scores were surprising for him being born a micropreemie, who usually don't "catch up" until they are in their threes. I will refrain from my soapbox on the phrase "catch up."
I told the OT that I still had some concerns. So she gave him a puzzle with which to play. The puzzle had a fruit theme. The pieces came out of the puzzle but the backboard of the puzzle contained no color, so this was not a matching of pictures task. Henry actually did pretty well getting the fruit pieces to fit in the puzzle. She also had him scribble on a piece of paper. She wanted him to draw two lines and some circles. It took some effort to get him to participate. He didn't really do a line so much as a dot/streak, but she considered that sufficient. His circles were pretty good (they resembled something with curves). She said that drawing was clearly not his favorite task, but she would have evaluated his skills approximately in the 3.5 year old range. I was pleased in some ways, but I confess that I don't quite believe that he has 3.5 year old fine motor skills. He isn't nearly as coordinated as Miss R.
Henry had an extended session with the speech pathologist. It was about an hour long session of speech testing. I hung back as I've read that parents can screw up a child's evaluation by hovering. Usually, the parent gets anxious and tries to get the kid to do the task, which can be problematic as kids need to be able to do some tasks in the absence of parents. The psychologist asked me who had worked with him on speech. I said no one. Speech had not been one of our concerns. Our concerns were related to his gross and fine motor skills. He was surprised to hear that (which resembled a comment by the Child Find coordinator who said, back in December, that all of the kids admitted to their program had speech issues). The speech pathologist said that she wouldn't know how to rate him specifically until she ran the numbers, but she thought that he'd done very well. On enunciation of words, he is age appropriate. He still doesn't quite say "r" and "l" sounds correctly, but most toddlers don't. On language receptivity, she said that she was asking him some questions of the 4-year old battery. The speech pathologist asked who his ST was, and I again explained that he hadn't had one. She did notice that his attention began to wane during the test. She said that he is too young to determine whether that's a meaningful observation or just a reflection of him being a toddler. She was able to "redirect" his attention.
We rounded out the session with a quick visit from the PT. Again, they hadn't planned to test him, except for my concerns about toe walking and arm placement. She said that his toe walking seems to present itself when he is excited, but she observed that he "can" walk on his whole foot (which I had told them at the outset). I observed that he would appear "excited" quite a bit as he spends a good part of the day on his toes. Regarding his arm, she said that to the extent he can bear weight on both arms, the arm thing isn't something she considered problematic. She said that we should having him do wheel barrows so that he can build up and use both sides equally. She also had him do a duck walk, which requires some squatting making it difficult to toe walk.
I heard the group of evaluators say that he is "solid." We have a meeting in two weeks to get their official recommendation, but I'm confident that as predicted, he will no longer qualify for intervention.
I decided not to return Henry to school. As Tuesday is Miss R's bio sibling visitation day and we wouldn't be picking her up, I didn't think that putting Henry in school a couple hours would be worth it as he'd have missed lunch by the time we got there and then would be put down for nap. I've missed the kids with my 17-hour work days the past week and a half (not a typo nor exaggeration). As much as I wanted to get some sleep, I opted instead to spend the day with Henry.
I took him to Golf'N'Stuff. When we arrived, I insisted that I change his diaper, despite his insistence that he was dry. During the changing, we had the following conversation:
HENRY: I'm a bad boy.
KATE: You're a bad boy? Oh. That makes me sad.
HENRY: No, I'm a good boy. Mommy's happy.
We played video games. We "played" miniature golf (well, we carried golf clubs around anyway), and Henry liked putting the balls into holes and they would appear on another level of the course. We also played a round of air hockey. My job was made easy as Henry had fun scoring on himself. He enjoyed the SpongeBob car game that they also have a Monkey Business. Henry's favorite game, however, was a whack-a-mole game. We went to lunch at IHOP where Henry had almost all of his short stack of buttermilk pancakes with blueberry syrup.
Henry's nap consisted of 15 minutes of sleep in the car on the way to IHOP. When we got home, Jeff took over and I was able to take a nap for a couple hours.
Miss R and Henry were loud and happy during dinner. Before dinner, they'd gone on a walk with Jeff and Lily. Roger refused to go on the walk for some reason. Henry announced that he was king during dinner.
After dinner, we played with the Goodnight Moon puzzle. Then I read the kids "The Haunted House," "Hamilton," and "Fidgety Fish." Miss R is beginning to be able to finish sentences like Henry does, which is nice to see. Love that she is engaging with the books. Then, it was time for bed.
We went across town for the school district evaluation of Henry's needs. As I've mentioned before, at age 3, early intervention cases are transferred from the state's early intervention program and handled by the school districts, if a continued need is established. I was a bit disappointed to hear that the OT decided not to give an evaluation b/c Henry scored well on the over-the-phone assessment done by his early intervention coordinator. I thought that particular test was overly vague and I confess that I don't trust the developmental coordinator's judgment. Because he was perfectly average on that test (based on the assumption of him being evaluated as a three year old, even though he was probably 2 yrs 4 months adjusted when I gave the answers), the OT decided it wasn't worth the time. She said that his scores were surprising for him being born a micropreemie, who usually don't "catch up" until they are in their threes. I will refrain from my soapbox on the phrase "catch up."
I told the OT that I still had some concerns. So she gave him a puzzle with which to play. The puzzle had a fruit theme. The pieces came out of the puzzle but the backboard of the puzzle contained no color, so this was not a matching of pictures task. Henry actually did pretty well getting the fruit pieces to fit in the puzzle. She also had him scribble on a piece of paper. She wanted him to draw two lines and some circles. It took some effort to get him to participate. He didn't really do a line so much as a dot/streak, but she considered that sufficient. His circles were pretty good (they resembled something with curves). She said that drawing was clearly not his favorite task, but she would have evaluated his skills approximately in the 3.5 year old range. I was pleased in some ways, but I confess that I don't quite believe that he has 3.5 year old fine motor skills. He isn't nearly as coordinated as Miss R.
Henry had an extended session with the speech pathologist. It was about an hour long session of speech testing. I hung back as I've read that parents can screw up a child's evaluation by hovering. Usually, the parent gets anxious and tries to get the kid to do the task, which can be problematic as kids need to be able to do some tasks in the absence of parents. The psychologist asked me who had worked with him on speech. I said no one. Speech had not been one of our concerns. Our concerns were related to his gross and fine motor skills. He was surprised to hear that (which resembled a comment by the Child Find coordinator who said, back in December, that all of the kids admitted to their program had speech issues). The speech pathologist said that she wouldn't know how to rate him specifically until she ran the numbers, but she thought that he'd done very well. On enunciation of words, he is age appropriate. He still doesn't quite say "r" and "l" sounds correctly, but most toddlers don't. On language receptivity, she said that she was asking him some questions of the 4-year old battery. The speech pathologist asked who his ST was, and I again explained that he hadn't had one. She did notice that his attention began to wane during the test. She said that he is too young to determine whether that's a meaningful observation or just a reflection of him being a toddler. She was able to "redirect" his attention.
We rounded out the session with a quick visit from the PT. Again, they hadn't planned to test him, except for my concerns about toe walking and arm placement. She said that his toe walking seems to present itself when he is excited, but she observed that he "can" walk on his whole foot (which I had told them at the outset). I observed that he would appear "excited" quite a bit as he spends a good part of the day on his toes. Regarding his arm, she said that to the extent he can bear weight on both arms, the arm thing isn't something she considered problematic. She said that we should having him do wheel barrows so that he can build up and use both sides equally. She also had him do a duck walk, which requires some squatting making it difficult to toe walk.
I heard the group of evaluators say that he is "solid." We have a meeting in two weeks to get their official recommendation, but I'm confident that as predicted, he will no longer qualify for intervention.
I decided not to return Henry to school. As Tuesday is Miss R's bio sibling visitation day and we wouldn't be picking her up, I didn't think that putting Henry in school a couple hours would be worth it as he'd have missed lunch by the time we got there and then would be put down for nap. I've missed the kids with my 17-hour work days the past week and a half (not a typo nor exaggeration). As much as I wanted to get some sleep, I opted instead to spend the day with Henry.
I took him to Golf'N'Stuff. When we arrived, I insisted that I change his diaper, despite his insistence that he was dry. During the changing, we had the following conversation:
HENRY: I'm a bad boy.
KATE: You're a bad boy? Oh. That makes me sad.
HENRY: No, I'm a good boy. Mommy's happy.
We played video games. We "played" miniature golf (well, we carried golf clubs around anyway), and Henry liked putting the balls into holes and they would appear on another level of the course. We also played a round of air hockey. My job was made easy as Henry had fun scoring on himself. He enjoyed the SpongeBob car game that they also have a Monkey Business. Henry's favorite game, however, was a whack-a-mole game. We went to lunch at IHOP where Henry had almost all of his short stack of buttermilk pancakes with blueberry syrup.
Henry's nap consisted of 15 minutes of sleep in the car on the way to IHOP. When we got home, Jeff took over and I was able to take a nap for a couple hours.
Miss R and Henry were loud and happy during dinner. Before dinner, they'd gone on a walk with Jeff and Lily. Roger refused to go on the walk for some reason. Henry announced that he was king during dinner.
After dinner, we played with the Goodnight Moon puzzle. Then I read the kids "The Haunted House," "Hamilton," and "Fidgety Fish." Miss R is beginning to be able to finish sentences like Henry does, which is nice to see. Love that she is engaging with the books. Then, it was time for bed.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Dinosaur Toys
On Monday afternoon, Grammy and Poppy picked up the kids at daycare. They took the kids to Barnes & Noble. Jeff and I came to my parents' house for dinner. I arrived a little bit after Jeff, as I was coming from school. Miss R showed me their new dinosaur toys, of which she was very proud. Henry was too busy watching Monsters, Inc. to say hello. Henry ate fairly well at dinner. He had 1.5 bananas and some bread with special French cheese on it. Miss R was in full refusal mode.
Jeff and the kids went home a little after 8PM. I followed a half-hour later. When I got home, Jeff was reading them "Hamilton." Miss R wanted me to climb into bed with her, so I did. I've spent the last week doing lots of editing, so I haven't had enough snuggle time. As we listened to Jeff read, Miss R stroked my cheek tenderly, much like I do to her when she is lying down. It was very sweet.
I just sent off the revised edits to Oxford, so I'm hoping that I get to relax for a little while (i.e., just have normal work responsibilities). I'm planning to spend a lot more time on home stuff this week.
Tomorrow, Miss R has her bio sibling visit in the afternoon. Darn, that reminds me, I guess I'll be doing our monthly foster care reports tomorrow. Ugh. In addition, Henry has his evaluation with TUSD at 10:30AM. Basically, at age 3, early intervention ends and kids' cases get handled by the school system in a special program when the kids are between 3-5 years old. Tomorrow, Henry will be evaluated by a speech therapist (ST), a physical therapist (PT), and an occupational therapist (OT) to see if he qualifies for their program. I'm guessing that he isn't going to qualify for the program. To qualify, children have to be delayed in two of the areas. While Henry has some quirks (e.g., holding his arm into his right side when running and toe walking) and I don't think that these quirks are "normal" exactly, I don't know that being involved in the school program would necessarily help with those issues.
Currently, the right side thing hasn't inhibited him from running. It might, however, indicate an issue with balance, as his neurologist mentioned at our last visit with her. He did have that cerebellum bleed in the NICU. Balance is affected by the cerebellum. The research on cerebellar bleeds is limited, and the small number of existing studies basically suggest poor outcomes (as in half of kids with such bleeds have significant delays). As such, we are thankful that he has the kind of coordination that he does have. He has full motility on both sides of his arms. Perhaps it is just a matter of him consciously retraining his motions. In any event, I'm not sure that a school system program would really help in that regard. The most likely scenario is that we'll just have to work on it at home and/or get therapy via the neurologists office.
The other issue is toe walking. The concern is that it could be a long-term issue, and if not addressed, toe walking can cause cramping in the calves. Fortunately for Henry, he does have the capacity to use his whole foot. But his "normal" position is one in which he walks on his toes. The other day, I saw him run down a hill on his toes! There are some things that help dissuade toe walking. Shirley, Henry's PT, gave us ankle weights. And those work, but Henry has figured out how to take them off. The boy who has insisted that he "can't do it" when it comes to talking off his Velcro sneakers amazingly had the ability to take off ankle weights when he finds them annoying. Our approach to handling his toe walking has therefore been to nag him, which works, but only for a minute...then we have to nag again.
So why are we going through this evaluation if we don't think he'll qualify? Two reason. First, we want to make sure that we don't have parent goggles on (those goggles that make one's kids littlest achievements be interpreted as signs of genius). We want a real assessment of his abilities. Second, we want to establish a paper trail with the school system, so that if he does need services later, they will have all of his early intervention history on file. Alas, with preemies, it isn't unusual for problems to appear later.
Alright. It is 4:15AM. I'm going to bed.
Jeff and the kids went home a little after 8PM. I followed a half-hour later. When I got home, Jeff was reading them "Hamilton." Miss R wanted me to climb into bed with her, so I did. I've spent the last week doing lots of editing, so I haven't had enough snuggle time. As we listened to Jeff read, Miss R stroked my cheek tenderly, much like I do to her when she is lying down. It was very sweet.
I just sent off the revised edits to Oxford, so I'm hoping that I get to relax for a little while (i.e., just have normal work responsibilities). I'm planning to spend a lot more time on home stuff this week.
Tomorrow, Miss R has her bio sibling visit in the afternoon. Darn, that reminds me, I guess I'll be doing our monthly foster care reports tomorrow. Ugh. In addition, Henry has his evaluation with TUSD at 10:30AM. Basically, at age 3, early intervention ends and kids' cases get handled by the school system in a special program when the kids are between 3-5 years old. Tomorrow, Henry will be evaluated by a speech therapist (ST), a physical therapist (PT), and an occupational therapist (OT) to see if he qualifies for their program. I'm guessing that he isn't going to qualify for the program. To qualify, children have to be delayed in two of the areas. While Henry has some quirks (e.g., holding his arm into his right side when running and toe walking) and I don't think that these quirks are "normal" exactly, I don't know that being involved in the school program would necessarily help with those issues.
Currently, the right side thing hasn't inhibited him from running. It might, however, indicate an issue with balance, as his neurologist mentioned at our last visit with her. He did have that cerebellum bleed in the NICU. Balance is affected by the cerebellum. The research on cerebellar bleeds is limited, and the small number of existing studies basically suggest poor outcomes (as in half of kids with such bleeds have significant delays). As such, we are thankful that he has the kind of coordination that he does have. He has full motility on both sides of his arms. Perhaps it is just a matter of him consciously retraining his motions. In any event, I'm not sure that a school system program would really help in that regard. The most likely scenario is that we'll just have to work on it at home and/or get therapy via the neurologists office.
The other issue is toe walking. The concern is that it could be a long-term issue, and if not addressed, toe walking can cause cramping in the calves. Fortunately for Henry, he does have the capacity to use his whole foot. But his "normal" position is one in which he walks on his toes. The other day, I saw him run down a hill on his toes! There are some things that help dissuade toe walking. Shirley, Henry's PT, gave us ankle weights. And those work, but Henry has figured out how to take them off. The boy who has insisted that he "can't do it" when it comes to talking off his Velcro sneakers amazingly had the ability to take off ankle weights when he finds them annoying. Our approach to handling his toe walking has therefore been to nag him, which works, but only for a minute...then we have to nag again.
So why are we going through this evaluation if we don't think he'll qualify? Two reason. First, we want to make sure that we don't have parent goggles on (those goggles that make one's kids littlest achievements be interpreted as signs of genius). We want a real assessment of his abilities. Second, we want to establish a paper trail with the school system, so that if he does need services later, they will have all of his early intervention history on file. Alas, with preemies, it isn't unusual for problems to appear later.
Alright. It is 4:15AM. I'm going to bed.
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