"Shape Up!"

On Monday afternoon, Henry wanted to listen to "mic." I selected "Grease." If you hold Henry level with the DVD player, he'll hit the eject button without prompting. He knows that's how CDs get into the CD player. We went for our family walk. As I got ready for class, Henry and Jeff listened to "Grease." Henry learned the phrase "Shape up!" from the song "You're the one that I want." As we drove to Grammy and Poppy's house, I decided to teach Henry the phrase "Shape up, Daddy!" (a payback for "Mommy Crazy").

We had foster/adoption training (class 8). It wasn't the most substantive class on record. We went over our morning schedules and shared them with the group. The purpose had to do with learning about ourselves and how a foster child might disrupt that schedule. Jeff and I learned that Jeff is the leader of the family in the morning. Incidentally, I don't think that we really needed to go through a 45 minute exercise to "learn" that.

We also heard yet another awful foster parent story. Apparently, one of the agency's foster parents was dodging meetings with her family specialist. The foster parent was "taking care of" three foster kids in addition to her own. So the family specialist ended up doing a surprise inspection. The specialist found the kids sitting outside the house one afternoon after school. Turned out the "mother" worked until 5PM. So her biological kids and foster kids just sat outside the house for a couple hours every day until she came home. The foster children were immediately pulled from the home. Might one think that supervision is an important part of parenting, right? I am understanding of circumstances that cause parents to make arrangements for their kids to get into the house before they arrive home (the latchkey kids). And there were times when I was in sixth grade or older when I would have fit that category. But leaving young kids to sit outside for hours by themselves? In Tucson? Concerns: (a) Safety and (b) It can be very hot in the afternoons during some months. I wouldn't leave a dog outside in the Tucson heat let alone a child. The new foster mom wrote in her report that the children really smelled terrible. The first foster mom told the kids that they only needed to shower once a week. The first foster mom was, not surprisingly, never given another foster placement through the agency again. Phylis says that even though they screen, some people who shouldn't be foster parents make it through the cracks.

At the start of class, we had a visit from the Respite coordinator. Respite involves taking children into your home for a few hours or days to give foster parents a break. Foster parents may use respite for 12 hours a month for ACYF (so called "normal" foster kids) placements and 40 hours a month for CDH (children with known disabilities) placements. Jeff and I are considering doing some respite while we wait for a foster placement. It's a good way to get to know the kinds of kids who are in the system and a good way to provide community service. The respite provider warned us that it isn't appropriate to use respite as a way of excluding the foster chidlren from family activities (e.g., vacations, holidays). After all, the point of foster care is to provide the children with a family, which means including them.

Henry was up and about when we arrived at Grammy's house. He'd had a large dinner. He is saying the word "Grandma" clearly. I think that Jeff had discovered that the day before when Henry was looking at the telephone. Henry showed us how he can bounce up and down on his horse. He played the piano (and said "piano" clearly).

On a side note, while we were in the car at one point, I asked Henry if I could kiss his toes, something I've been doing since he came home, trying to desensitive his feet, which is commonly a touchy area for preemies who have been stuck numerous times in the heal for blood tests. Anyway, I said, "Henry, may I kiss your toes?" His response: "No, no" as he shook his head side to side. I decided to respect his "no, no" declaration...although I confess that I kiss his head w/o consent when he is sound asleep.