The Twins

I've been calling Henry and Miss R "The Twins" because Miss R is about 2-3 months younger than Henry's adjusted age.

On Thursday, Miss R did well playing with Karina. I called Miss R's CPS case worker at 8AM and left a message informing her that I had two specific questions for which I needed answers. One question was about her medical history b/c I told her that we were talking her to the doctor's office at 10:30AM. Then, I spent some time in the morning with Henry, because I wanted to make sure he felt confident about his place in the family and in our hearts. He got to watch some youtube.com, which he loves. Then, Alicia watched Henry as Jeff and I took Miss R to the doctor's office, to get her some clothes, and to see Grandma for about 2 minutes. Note: No returned call from the case worker before we went to doctor's appointment.

My mom picked up Henry in the afternoon. I wanted to keep Henry's routine as normal as possible. He had a great time with Grammy and Poppy. At one point when Henry was at Grandma and Grandpa's house, he patted his hair and said "Haircut...Todd." Todd was the hairdresser who cut Henry's hair. My boy is so darn cute.

Miss R was very easy to watch in the afternoon. All in all, she is a much lower maintenance child than Henry is by far. No contest. Henry is just a super duper active child; plus he is an extrovert and likes being with people constantly. He is definitely an HM; Miss R is an LM. For those of you not familiar with HM/LM, HM=high maintenance and LM=low maintenance (straight from When Harry Met Sally).

I again called Miss R's case worker with whom I had yet to speak about Miss R's case. I left a message. I also left a message for the case worker's supervisor. Again, no returned calls from CPS.

Both my parents returned Henry in the evening and got to meet Miss R.

Miss R is terrified of the bathtub. We got a bath going for Henry so that Miss R could see how much fun it is. Henry did an excellent job splashing half the water out of the tube, but Miss R wanted nothing to do with it.

My comments about Miss R are going to be limited b/c of privacy reasons. Jeff and I left her and Henry in Alicia's care on Friday morning. She didn't bring Karina to work, knowing that Jeff and I would be gone. We had a meeting at the ACYF (that's a CPS division) office for the "team meeting" where CPS investigators, her biological family, and agency case workers were present. Jeff and I didn't say much, although I did try to ask a few questions about her to see if I could get the parents to disclose anything that would be helpful to her care (e.g., what words does she know? what would make her more comfortable during this time?), but I didn't really get much detail from them. I went to work after the meeting. I'll be honest. I was a little shell shocked. As far as "team meetings" go, this was the smoothest that our family specialist Alison had ever attended. I guess the thing that struck me most was that you can know things in theoretical, academic terms, but that doesn't even remotely come close to messy reality. In this case, there are other children involved, and there is a repeat pattern. Ultimately, the case will be going to court. I think that the Ivy Tower is a very apt metaphor for how academics see the world.

When I got home after work, Jeff reported that Henry was a little bit jealous. When Jeff asked Miss R if she wanted her diaper changed, Henry ran to the diaper changing pad and said "Diaper change!" OK, this is a kid who has never really wanted a diaper change in his life. Of course, when Jeff went over to change his diaper, Henry announced "All done!" before Jeff had even started.

On Saturday, it was apparent that Jeff, Henry, and I had all caught Miss R's cold. That made the day a little more exhausting than normal. I made The Twins pancakes. We had breakfast. Rushed out the door to our first "quarterly" meeting through our agency. To remain certified as foster parents, we have to attend 12 hours of meetings per year. This quarterly was on fire safety and plant safety, and it was held at a park. We got to see several of our classmates, which was fun. And most fun perhaps of all was being able to show off Henry, whom our classmates had not seen.

Henry had a fabulous time running around the park. They had several people serving as "respite" providers while the parents listened to the presentations. Miss R kept close to me. In fact, Lora (A Place To Call Home's recruiter) offered to watch her for me. Miss R was marching off into the grass but turned around, saw I wasn't there, and came running (well, walking fast) back to me. She has attached to me very quickly.

Henry had an accident on some of the equipment. He either fell or was pushed down some stairs. No one got a good look at what happened. Sigh. Anyway, he has a small bruise on his face, but that didn't stop him from wanting to play more.

We came back. The Twins took naps. A person from the Blake Foundation came to do an evaluation of Miss R. They were suppose to do an evaluation w/i 24 hours of her being in our care BUT CPS did not give the Blake Foundation the correct phone number.

Incidentally, on Friday, when Laura from the Blake Foundation called, she was looking for "Anna" again, so CPS obviously hasn't corrected the name of the foster parents of a child for whom they are legally responsible. Brilliant! (note the sarcasm). Very frustrating. Not getting our names' right or the contact information right.

Anyway, Miss R was asleep for most of the time that Laura asked me questions about her. Miss R woke up and started talking more than I had ever heard her talk/babble. She is no where near Henry's verbal skills, but she has more skills than I thought. And she picked up clapping when she does an action. She knows that Jeff and I will cheer for picking up balls or whatever. Very cute. She also pet Roger, which is huge. When she was dropped off on Wednesday, her brother who was going to another home told us that she was afraid of cats and dogs. She is still cautious around them, but she has appeared to do a 180 in just a couple days.

When Henry got up, he played in the living room with Miss R. Grandpa visited in the afternoon. Miss R likes Poppy. Grandpa took Henry outside for awhile to play in the car. Henry liked that.

We had planned to go on a family walk in the evening but Miss R ended up taking a nap. So I fixed dinner for Henry while Jeff took the dogs for a walk. Henry is back on the pancake diet, although he did try a couple bites of penne. The vegetables, however, were a no-go. He was initially irked b/c I wouldn't give him ice cream for dinner. I told him he had to try the food first and then he'd get ice cream. By the time he was done with dinner, he didn't want ice cream. So he played in the living room while I fed Miss R.

The Twins were very tired by 8:30PM. Henry was leading with his head when he was rough housing with Jeff. That's his sign for being tired. So no bath was given.

We still need to figure out what to do with Miss R's hair. As she is petrified of the bath, I haven't attempted hair washing yet. No need to traumatize her over it. But her hair is very dry and needs some work. We also need to cut her nails.

I wanted to make a comment about CPS. I am both frustrated and in awe of the CPS case workers. On the one hand, the communication is lacking. I mean, we have a CPS child in our home and the case worker has yet to call us on her own initiative OR return our calls. On the other hand, they have a really tough, tough job. You have to have a special personality to do what they have to do. They have tough decisions to make. They have to work with people who are not forthcoming. They have to see a lot of bad stuff on a daily basis. And yet they have to work with the very people with whom they are charging with stuff. That's not an easy thing to do. When I use the word "special," I mean that as a compliment because the psychological fortitude required for the job is immense. The funding cuts that CPS has recently sustained certainly isn't going to make it easier for them to do their jobs. There needs to be more CPS workers so that communication between foster families and biological families is open so that vital information can be passed. Sigh.

On Sunday morning, Jeff made the pancakes. He and Henry walked the dogs while I attempted to get some braids out of Miss R's hair. We read some books. The Twins are now taking naps. I'm hoping that we'll be able to go to the zoo when the kids wake up.