On Monday evening, our neighbor Yvonne called me to offer help for our evening dog walk. I took her up on the offer. Two toddlers in the desert during the advent of snake season...yes, help was warranted. It was a nice evening. Henry held Yvonne's hand part of the way. Miss R road contently in the red wagon. After the walk, I made them dinner. Henry decided to put rice and utensils in his water cup, and Miss R copied him. They had a bath. I was glad when they finally settled down for bed because they were putting me through the ringer.
On Tuesday morning, I had a haircut appointment. Halfway through the appointment, a lady from the front desk approached me and said "Your mother is on the line and needs to speak to you immediately." I went to the telephone. My mom said that Alicia had called her. There was a woman from CPS at the front door wanting to take Miss R for a visitation. Legally, we didn't have a choice. Alicia took the woman's badge number down. I was very upset. We've gone out of our way to contact CPS for updates b/c they don't inform of anything (e.g., like Miss R's medical condition for which we have received nada). They simply don't return calls.
In fact, Miss R has been with us four weeks, and I have talked with a CPS worker a total of three times. The first time was when the case worker called as Miss R was being dropped off. We couldn't talk at the time b/c I was in the middle of paperwork with the CPS dropper off person. The case worker was supposed to call back with more information that evening. She never called. I didn't even get a return phone call from her or her supervisor when I needed medical information before taking Miss R to the pediatrician's office. The second time was a week later, when she called two days before the first hearing. That was just to let me know when the hearing was. I told her that I still needed the medical files. She thanked me for reminding her that she needed to inquire about them. And the third time was yesterday morning. As I sat in the salon with my hair half done, I finally got a called from a new CPS case worker who apologized for not informing us about visitation. At the hearing the previous Friday (that would be the hearing that we couldn't get information about b/c CPS wouldn't return Alison's telephone or email inquiries), the court ordered a visitation. Of course, if CPS had returned that telephone call, Jeff would have known where and when to attend the hearing. And if CPS had returned Alison's telephone call for an update Friday afternoon about what transpired at the hearing, then we would have known. I mean, between Alison and us, we are making it so that CPS doesn't have to remember to call us, they just have to return our [fill-in-the-blank], [fill-in-the-blank] phone calls. This isn't rocket science.
CPS has the power to do whatever they want. Our foster parent trainer during our classes said that CPS has "too much power." And it is true. If you've heard rumors that they treat foster parents like [fill-in-the-blank], know from our experience that it is true. I'm not expecting the white glove treatment. I know that they are busy. But if they did their jobs correctly, they wouldn't have to clean up so much mess.
So without warning, Miss R was taken by a stranger to a visitation site to see her parents and siblings. We don't know how it went. I guess that's not really important to our parenting of her. Alicia put her in a cute purple outfit before leaving the house. She was returned in a different outfit, one with shorts that were way too small for her and didn't match her onesie.
My concerns:
* CPS doesn't have its act together. As I mentioned before, they didn't even show up to the CFT (child family team meeting). Of course, the parents didn't either, but that's not an excuse for CPS. How will they act in the children's best interest if they don't listen to what the developmental specialists have to say? While the specialists did squat in assessing Miss R, they have histories working with the other children, which should provide some illumination to the case. What else will CPS let fall through the cracks?
* CPS doesn't communicate to us when the meetings/hearing are. Jeff said that we have to attend those hearings b/c it is obvious that CPS won't inform us of the judge's orders. Above all, we need to know what is legally required in this case.
My fears:
* CPS will drop the ball, sending Miss R back to her bio parents when substantive changes haven't been made. Moreover, her primary caregiver (or at least who we suspect was the primary caregiver) does not want to return home nor did he want to be placed with his siblings b/c he doesn't want to care give anymore. Honestly, he shouldn't have ever been placed in that position in the first place. But what will happen to her if he isn't in the home?
* Miss R will not live up to her potential if placed back in an unsuitable home. She's already made a lot of progress in terms of being able to express herself in a few short weeks. There are skills that she should have had as an 18 month old that she didn't have. Her vocab was/is smaller than it should have been. She grunted without communicating, and now she's beginning to understand how to communicate. She's picked up some sign language. She knows at least 10 words now. She can point to her nose and eyes. It makes me sick to think that she'll be placed back in an unsuitable home and then probably repeat this horrible cycle 20 years from now.
Legitimating my concerns is the fact that a case plan hasn't been put in place. They claim that it should be done in a couple weeks. The law says that when a child under 3 years old is placed in CPS custody, the parents have 6 months to turn things around. But CPS will drag this out so that they get longer. Or they'll create a minimal threshold for the parents (who a history of CPS involvement) just to get her and her siblings off their docket. I know that I've been evasive on details as I have to be. But I will say that there is evidence that the parents haven't done the thing that is most basic to getting their children back and hence I'm stunned that this visitation took place. There is a primary reason why the children were removed and that issue hasn't changed. So why have the visitations?
To make matters more frustrating, the case worker told me on the phone that this was a one time visitation b/c it was court ordered. I'm guessing the court ordered it when the court realized that CPS wasn't doing its job effectively. But that visitations wouldn't take place on a regular schedule until a plan was in place. But then the CPS dropper off person told Alicia that the visitations would be held weekly at the same time. So which is it? One time or weekly?
I had a faculty meeting in the afternoon. My mom picked up the kids at 1:45PM. Miss R was returned around 1:30PM. Henry was happy to see Miss R back. And Miss R was happy to see Grammy.
When I got to my parent's house around dusk, they were in the pool area. Henry was throwing rocks and leaves into the pool. Miss R was sitting in the swinging bench with Poppy. Henry threw a rake into the pool, much to Poppy's displeasure. Poppy fished it out with a pole, and Henry grabbed it and get the rake out of the water. Apparently, Miss R (who has huge constipation issues) was very upset at one point in the afternoon. Henry went over to her and patted her arm telling "It's OK, [Miss R's name]." I hope Henry's right in more ways that he knows.
We got in the car and headed to the airport to pick up Jeff. Henry and Miss R were pleased to see him. I was too. :)
We got a pizza and fried zucchini from Bianchi's. Miss R loved both. Henry stuck to his bottle. The kids were wired at 10PM, but we carted them off to bed anyway. It took a long time to settle them down. Henry was ecstatic to have his Daddy Pillow back.
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